[swimgirl18]

My boyfriend of two years still talks to his ex-girlfriend. I completely don't understand this especially considering the fact that she cheated on him. I for one, am I person who cuts off all ties with my ex-lovers. There are no phone calls, text messages, e-mails, etc... It really bothers me that he feels the need to maintain somewhat of an open connection/communication with her. He has many friends and many female friends at that so why does he feel the need to keep in touch with a woman that had broken his heart? Can anyone offer any advice or opinions on this matter?

[MeghanCouture]

My husband used to be the same way, he would talk to a few girls that he had dated in the past. I never saw anything wrong with it just because they were friends before we got together.
That's just how some are, they will will continue to talk to there exes if it wasn't a bad break up or they only went on a few dates.
If I were you I really wouldn't worry about it to much, you know he is friends with them. Now if he was doing it behind you're back and you didn't know I would worry. However the fact that you know really shows he has nothing to hide.
However if it still bothers you, talk to him and just let him know how you feel.

[rosekitten]

I've kept in touch with exes. Sometimes, people are better off as friends and not lovers. If he's being open with you about that, I wouldn't worry about it.

[swimgirl18]

He is hiding it. I found out by accident when he didn't sign out of his facebook and when I went on to the site I saw messages from his ex. I wasn't snooping on purpose I just didn't realize it never asked me to sign in, which it usually doesn't since it's my personal computer. He was silly enough to use my computer to check his account and didn't sign out. I'm not the type of person to snoop but now that I have come to know about this I can't stop thinking about it and I find myself wondering why the heck he still wants to talk to her when she CHEATED on him?? Is he messed up emotionally? Am i dealing with damaged goods? I just don't get it. It wouldn't bother me so much if the things he was saying were a little more innocent, but he was telling her how good she looks in her photo's and how much he misses her.

[Mes T]

My boyfriend was like this until recently and it SUCKED because he was secretive about it. So many times I had wanted to just leave him and be rid of the terrible things he made me feel in my heart, but... I stuck it out, only because one fine day I told him you either stop talking to her or we are finished. Yeah ultimatums aren't all that classy, but I was sick of the lies and of feeling so hurt all the time.

Sheesh if people like our boyfriends would just be truthful, eh? Blaaaaah.

[caterpillar79]

BF's don't stop communicating with their exes for a reason. It has been proven in studies that the feelings for a person heightens when that person rejected you, i.e. broke up with you, cheated on you, just flat out refused to be with you. Hence, the huge possibility of the individual to be hung up on that person who rejected him. They might not admit it but subconsciously, it could be true (there are exceptions though).

I am like Mes_T. I tell my man my boundaries and that's it - take it or leave it. I wouldn't allow my heart to be trampled again and again. It's all up to you, swimgirl18. If he can't stop the communication with that ex, the way I see it, he is still clinging on something he just wouldn't admit to you nor to himself. Maybe he's still hoping that someday, they'll be closer, etc.... we can speculate numerous things. However, whatever the reasons he may tell you, put your heart first. How do you feel about it - what do you want to do about it? Discuss and draw your boundaries.

[Maximus]

My husband used to be the same way, he would talk to a few girls that he had dated in the past. I never saw anything wrong with it just because they were friends before we got together.
That's just how some are, they will will continue to talk to there exes if it wasn't a bad break up or they only went on a few dates.
If I were you I really wouldn't worry about it to much, you know he is friends with them. Now if he was doing it behind you're back and you didn't know I would worry. However the fact that you know really shows he has nothing to hide.
However if it still bothers you, talk to him and just let him know how you feel.

I second that.

[rosekitten]

He is hiding it. I found out by accident when he didn't sign out of his facebook and when I went on to the site I saw messages from his ex. I wasn't snooping on purpose I just didn't realize it never asked me to sign in, which it usually doesn't since it's my personal computer. He was silly enough to use my computer to check his account and didn't sign out. I'm not the type of person to snoop but now that I have come to know about this I can't stop thinking about it and I find myself wondering why the heck he still wants to talk to her when she CHEATED on him?? Is he messed up emotionally? Am i dealing with damaged goods? I just don't get it. It wouldn't bother me so much if the things he was saying were a little more innocent, but he was telling her how good she looks in her photo's and how much he misses her.

If he's hiding it, how did you find out? Have you, I don't know, talked to him about it?

[lizzardb63]

rosekitten, it states she saw his facebook page by accident thinking it was hers.

[rosekitten]

rosekitten, it states she saw his facebook page by accident thinking it was hers.

Derp. I really shouldn't post when I'm feverish. Sorry...