[Pau]

hi i'm having a hard time to understand my bf lately.
he said that he loves me etc... but i found out many times that he was registering his profile to any dating sites and looking for women.

when i asked him about this, he said he's not on any site and he didn't register even it was clear that he was using that username and even all his details right.
but he claimed that it wasn't him or he would tell me that he did that long time ago when he was frustrated and he didn't use it anymore

lately when i was seeing some notifications on his laptop, i became doubtful and i don't like. most of it are sex sites, like meeting up for one night stand, and even porn sites. he knows that i have problem with this because in my previous relationship my bf did this to me too...

i even came across to his profile and asked my bf why he's doing this, and he promised that he's not using the account. he even told me to make me happy, i can have access to his mails, or even phone or i can even set up a parental control on his laptop.
he asked me what to do, i told him he should refrain registering to those dating / sex sites. he said he's not a member although i found one.
what should i do? he kept on saying he's not lying and will even swear to the life of his children, that he's not doing it. now i'm confused..
is he just trying to test me if i want to take the bait, like really installing parental control on his laptop?
i don't want to be in a relationship where the other party is not honest. would need your advice.
thanks

[BabyGirl]

Firstly, if he is offering, for you to put a safe watch on the computer, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. THIS TIME !!

He very well may have signed up awhile back to many dating or porn sites. And yes they may still send him Junk mail or Adverts... trust me I still get mail from a site , non dating, but other that I joined back in 2001.

The best thing to do , is ask him to to go thru each site , block them or request they remove his address. If all else fails, have him make another Email addy and just never open the other one.

This gives a sign of Trust from Both Him and You .

The one way to send him on his way, is to Not Trust him !! He will find someone who will trust him when he swears on his children's Lives.

For Now, Give him a Break.. And yourself too ..
It's the ones who Hide the phone and emails, that you have to worry about .

[JadedQueen]

How does it say he's a member? Is it something that he is getting in his email or does he actually have a user name and password to these sites? These sites are set up to send out a lot of spam emails to people. If you don't know for a fact that he is actually registered at the site with a user name and password it is very possible that he is just getting spam mail from these places because of a site (which could be completely unrelated to dating/hooking up with people). I have gotten emails from dating sites and I have NEVER joined any. These emails would tell me that i had 10 messages waiting for me or it was someone stating that they saw my profile and wanted to get to know me. I started to wonder if someone had registered using my information because I know i didn't do it. I went to the site and attempted to login in as a registered user (after all if someone had seen my profile then I must be a registered user right?) well, i have a set 3 passwords that I use for any and all accounts and none of them worked when attempting to login.... So I clicked on the "lost password" option so I could reset it and investigate further why I was getting these emails. Well, when I put in all the information to have my password reset I received a message telling me that there is no one with my email address registered on their site, yet that's the email address that they emailed me on. I was very confused by this point so I decided to contact the site and question things and as it turns out the emails are to lure people into visiting the site. I would do a little bit more investigation before believing that he is an active member to that site and other sites like it.
The fact that he is willing to give you full access to his email, phone etc... tells me that he isn't hiding anything from you and that he has nothing to hide.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi Pau

Ask yourself deep in your heart, with other things he "promised" you saw wrong but were clear to you.

It can be very confusing... But your gut feeling is always right...

What you find is real...

What you suspect is not..

[Pau]

BabyGirl: He give me access to his mails that I can read it anytime if I want to.
JadedQueen: yes there was username and password and we even both logged into those sites to see and unsubscribe.
Chandlers: Thanks for the advise all the time