Hey ladies, I'm a young man and one of my boys has some issues and I'm not sure if he should seek professional help or not.
Basically all the guys in my crew (5-6 of us) are the same age (late 20s, early 30s), we've all be friends since grad school and we hang out often. 2 of us are married, and the rest of us are either dating or looking on the scene. Except my buddy "Carl".
Carl is turning 30 next year, has never had a steady girlfriend and has had his heart broken a few times. He's a great guy, albeit very indiciplined in his personal life. He's messy, pretty lazy asides from his job although he goes to the gym and is in pretty good shape. He's an average looking guy, and when we're hanging out we always talk smack about each other like guys usually do. He's a goofy fellow and as such we pick on him more than we do on anyone else, but he seems to like it, and he knows we do it out of love. But lately, he's been confiding in me that he doesn't have a lot of confidence around women and that is beginning to warp his image of them.
He's a very outgoing character when we're out of just hanging out at one of our houses. Our significant others initially found him a tad bit over the top, but eventually they've grown to love him as much as we do.
Now the problem.
He's a known porn addict. We always tease him about it, and its not like we've never watched ourselves, but we think he might watch it too much. He himself has admitted he probably has a problem but shrugs it off.
Recently I asked him if he would like me to introduce him to this woman I work with and occaisionally meet up with for coffee. He told me he wasn't interested. I asked him what was up, and then he told me that he would rather sit at home and enjoy the certainty of his vast porn collection than confront the possibility of rejection with a real live woman. I was dumbfounded until he dropped a bigger bombshell.
He went on to claim that he is very resentful of attractive women because he can never have one, and that is why he doesn't bother to pursue women anymore. He has in the past gone after girls and he's always been shut down. But we figured hey, we've all been rejected and dumped more times than he's even looked at a girl and we're OK. But now I beginning to worry for my friend that he might be developing some unhealthy complexes.
Any advice from a female point of view would be appreciated.
Basically all the guys in my crew (5-6 of us) are the same age (late 20s, early 30s), we've all be friends since grad school and we hang out often. 2 of us are married, and the rest of us are either dating or looking on the scene. Except my buddy "Carl".
Carl is turning 30 next year, has never had a steady girlfriend and has had his heart broken a few times. He's a great guy, albeit very indiciplined in his personal life. He's messy, pretty lazy asides from his job although he goes to the gym and is in pretty good shape. He's an average looking guy, and when we're hanging out we always talk smack about each other like guys usually do. He's a goofy fellow and as such we pick on him more than we do on anyone else, but he seems to like it, and he knows we do it out of love. But lately, he's been confiding in me that he doesn't have a lot of confidence around women and that is beginning to warp his image of them.
He's a very outgoing character when we're out of just hanging out at one of our houses. Our significant others initially found him a tad bit over the top, but eventually they've grown to love him as much as we do.
Now the problem.
He's a known porn addict. We always tease him about it, and its not like we've never watched ourselves, but we think he might watch it too much. He himself has admitted he probably has a problem but shrugs it off.
Recently I asked him if he would like me to introduce him to this woman I work with and occaisionally meet up with for coffee. He told me he wasn't interested. I asked him what was up, and then he told me that he would rather sit at home and enjoy the certainty of his vast porn collection than confront the possibility of rejection with a real live woman. I was dumbfounded until he dropped a bigger bombshell.
He went on to claim that he is very resentful of attractive women because he can never have one, and that is why he doesn't bother to pursue women anymore. He has in the past gone after girls and he's always been shut down. But we figured hey, we've all been rejected and dumped more times than he's even looked at a girl and we're OK. But now I beginning to worry for my friend that he might be developing some unhealthy complexes.
Any advice from a female point of view would be appreciated.
Get The Newsletter
Comment