[lizzardb63]

The one thing that I can 100% guarentee about people is...they will hurt you. Sometimes on purpose, sometimes by accident, but people hurt each other and they let each other down because we're all ONLY human. It's in our nature, we cannot be perfect, and we make mistakes. The only way you're going to get peace from the situation is to move on with it. As the saying says, by worrying or thinking about something someone said or did that hurt you is letting them live rent free in your head, and you're only hurting yourself. You have to let it go and move on, because it's not healthy to still be upset over something that happened 3 years ago.

[Avatar Nirvana]

I just want to say that this is something I don't obsess about everyday, it's just once in a while I do miss talking to her.

[BabyGirl]

Av,

I have been there, Mine was also Years ago, actually about 7- 8 years ago. But we met online in 1999. I'll call her JoJo, Became Best Friends from a Chat room / Forum. We grew Very Close, we were " Sisters " We Laughed together, Cried Together, Shared our Deepest Secrets. She lived in Australia, I here in the USA.

We'd talk on the phone,or Skype ,send gifts, across the Pond. Were called " Aunty " by each others kids. She came all the way one year to meet in Person, She flew in from Oz, stayed with me 10 days, and visited 2 other USA Chatters from the room in their States.
I threw a Chat Party and had 11 other people from our chatroom come up, a married couple flew the rest were ( within Driving Distance ) From 3 states. They all stayed 3 days. It was awesome.

After the trip, she went back home to Oz.. All was well for about a year. Then a Newer Chatter came in, they lived in the same area of Oz.. They became friends . Which was cool.

Anyway, JoJo, evidently mentioned , I assume as I had never discussed it with or to ( I'll call her Kitty ) that my daughter was on meds and my son was a virgin at 16 and was not interested in Girls at all .
And this "Kitty " started asking me personal questions in Chat, about my Family . " Why is your Daughter a Druggie and your Son Gay ".
Rude things, I tried to diffuse it by asking Kitty to refrain from talking about my Family. She continued and I Banned her ( I was Admin ). Now Jojo , being really good friends with Kitty, got offended. We had a discussion about my Personal life and the Net.

We had a " Tiff " and discussed it on an off for a couple of months, distanced ourselves a bit. I finally let Kitty back in.
Now to help with this part .. a little History is needed.

I was born with a Heart Defect, was an Experimental Guinea Pig, so to speak, for Surgery in 1959. Due to the Drugs I was Given Back then, the Enamels on my teeth were weakened, Severely. At age 21 ..I had all teeth and parts of my Jaw Removed/ Shaved and have worn Dentures since then.

Now, Nobody but very close family knows this. Even Now, no one at work know. People I have worked with or Known a long time, do not Know. Men I have Dated Do Not Know ..I am not ashamed, just is none of their business . Well You all Do Now .. Lol

So one day, in chat , Kitty was getting Mouthy and a Bit rude with another Chatter, I Pm'd her to chill or I would have to ban again. She Straight up, posted to the Room ( My Nick ) Do you take out your Teeth when you Give BJ's ". I was Mortified to say the least. But I , instead of reacting with Anger or my " Power " of Admin, Admitted... That yes, I had Dentures, due to Health reasons, And it was Not up to Discussion on if I did or did not give BJ's, with or without my Teeth in .

I, then Confronted Jojo, about Gossip and felt Very Betrayed ( in our emails, Not in Chat or Public ) I stayed in the Chat for a month or two longer, then resigned as Admin. The chat, turned into a " Fight & Protect " site, Divided and no longer a Fun place to be in .

Shortly after that Jojo Made a Choice.. To no longer try to fix our " Sisterhood " type relationship, and we have not " Spoken " since 2005. Was I Hurt ?? Heck Yes, Did I miss her , Heck Yes. Do I still think of her and how Close we were ? Heck Yes.

If she suddenly contacted me by net/ email, Would I confront her ? No, I would be polite and respectful and see where it goes from there. Have I Forgiven her . Yes, will I trust her with Personal Info again ? That would take a long time. And I would Protect my Personal Life.. Net wise.

Now there are a few on here that I have earned their Trust and they Mine. We have shared Real Names and Real Emails of each other & FB . But we , as we should be , Very Cautious, we Respect each other and the Privacy. And even though a Couple of them " have the Power to Ban Me " Lol .. Sometimes may be needed.

I find that they Respect me and I Respect them and they have trust that if they say " Umm Chill Girlfriend " I will not look at it as Negative. I will look into why they felt it wasn't Quite Right . And usually Hang my head in Shame .. Just kidding lol


So.. go with your Gut feeling, you were close once, close enough to be hurt by her, no need to Confront.. 3 years or 10 years. Confrontation is taking the Aggressive side.. You are the " Attacker " But also you do not have to be Passive and the " Downtrodden " . There are places in the Middle. You just have to find where you stand, where you will Stand with this renewing Relationship.

And I Share this photo Proudly..
The day she had to Leave. I still smile, I am Still Sad, I still Care.

th_SeattlesBest2.jpg

We Were " Seattle's Best !!!

That was Sister Souls, and yep, I had Dentures, but she was Chubby .. Who Cares anymore ?

[Avatar Nirvana]

BabyGirl, that is a horrible story. The good this is you didn't have to take trash from "Kitty" since you were the admin. After 2009 we had friendly conversations that had nothing to do with my issue toward her, but this year, I we haven't spoken. What I want to do know is IF she asks why we don't talk anymore, what should I say? I don't care if the response hurts me or not. I just want the truth to solve the mystery on why she let me be in pain.

[lizzardb63]

I think if she asks, you have every right to be honest with her about it. It's different if she approaches you about it.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Someone told me the other day of two people from their past that re-entered years later..

I said, sometimes people change and they "want" to clear the air, just contact is enough without words and they can move past it..

So, having said that, if "she" approached you then you have that closure, chasing it, will not work.. And, you may find it's "friends" that you miss, not her.. After all, she did the dirty on you, to you... And, she's never tried to make that up...

Go find yourself new ones sweet.

[BabyGirl]

Av....
Thanks, I realized I didn't have to take the Trash from Kitty, not because I was Admin, but because I made the decision to resign and then move on. We can get very close on this Internet and many get a false sense of Security, because the people on the other side are still Unknown. We Think we know them, but until you meet in person, and then they are usually on their best behavior, you still don't really " Know " them.

I stepped out on a limb. having that chat party, opening my home and real life to " Strangers ". But I had talked with these people for several years, in chat, on phone. For the most part it all turned out a Good thing. I am still in basic contact with most of the Party Goers , but once I decided that the Chat Room, wasn't where I wanted to be and that protecting my kids from vicious comments and Moved on back into Real Life, I have been happier.

I stop in the Chat every once in awhile if someone is there I was close to. I still have several on FB, that we chat once in awhile in the chat window. I am more reserved about my life and Privacy. I stick to basics, "I'm fine, how are you, kids are good, Yours ? " Birthday or Holiday Wishes .. things like that.

With you ? I don't know what to tell you to say. But you can Try, if she asks, Just saying that you are busy with real life things, if asked why you don't talk much, there is always, the " just as in Real Life, People lose touch, move on, life changes and you are happy in the life you have now ".

You don't have to Explain yourself to her. She probably knows why . If she wants to rekindle the Friendship, you can chose to do so, but make it known, politely, that you want no dissension or issues like the last time. Recognize that part of the " Hurt " was you allowing yourself to be hurt. This is what can happen when we open up our hearts . Make sure you aren't vulnerable to that kind of hurt again.

Think of it this way .. You grab a hot pan or baking dish with your bare hand.. You get Burnt. If you use a Pot holder or Oven Mitt for Protection .. Less chance of getting Burnt ? Use some Self Protection hun ..