[adviceanyone]

im at the point where i feel like giving up for good on my on and off 3 year relationship with the love of my life.
i know i love him, but i no longer see a happy future with him. all i see is me waiting for the next 3 years waiting for a commtiment from him. - im 20 years old and i want to start making a plan for my life.
all morning i have been looking at places , 6 hours away from where i live. i am craving a new adventure, a new place to meet people and have fun.!

my partner does his own thing, ups and goes and pretty much has his own life in which i have no part of. and after 7 months of putting up with his distant behaivour i have had enough and i really want a change - an oppotunity to make something of myself..

i keep thinking of being with him and all i can see is me feeling trapped, alone and feeling unwanted, unloved. - just like i do now..

i felt like this almost two years ago - i left, ran away from him , moved 4 hours away.. i felt like i do right now. wanting a change, wanting to move on. i left him but came back a year later..

i want to be sure in my decision so i dnt have any regrets when i move and regrets about leaving him..

how can i be sure? how i can i fully let him go? i can't stay in this town and not be with him cause everywhere i look there are memories of us. i know if he broke up with me i would not have any doubts..

i am so confused and i have no one to talk to.. my mother says i should stay in town for 6 months with not being with him and see i cope but i can't do that, there are too many memories here, there are too many memories in my house..

i need help! plz

[CHANDLERS WISH]

You never, ever live for someone else, you live for yourself.

The person that then enters your life, lives "with you" and for themself and the combination is awesome.

You are not venting, you had a dream but you are growing sheez, you are 20

And you want a life and I suspect, he just goes with the flow but you, you have visions.

Hun, 20 is young, get out there and make something of yourself, don't let someone stop you from being who you are.

You aren't scared of being alone if need be are you? If so, embrase who you are and where you are heading, I see a heck of a future there for you unless you be him, and just sit back and do, well, NOTHING.

CW

[acerousme]

Wow...It's like I wrote your post * advice anyone.

20 is young.. You are just starting out, and if you feel trapped and stifled, then you need to leave. Just do it! You seem like the type to know what you want, so go. Grab the world, and conquer it. But tell him that you need to do your own thing. A relationship has two people...not just one, right?

So go be you! Be 20!!! And enjoy it!

[SaharaJim]

(Male, recently divorced opinion here) If you stay how long until you start resenting him and blaming him for your dissatisfaction? I think from your post you really want to "go" but you want to have the "security" of his being "there" to come back to if you choose. Maybe he will (he did so last time). Maybe not. You have to make a decison and live with the consequences- good and bad. CW is right you are young and growth comes from new experiences. The choice must be yours and if you are a decent human being you need to tell him that you are going and that he should not expect you back. I would expect him to be angry and upset that you made such a life-changing decision without any input from him. BUT if you are doing this to get him to "commit"; you must be prepared for him to "call your bluff". You may find yourself out of the relationship whether you want to be or not. OR, are you posing this so that he will break up with you and allow you to side-step the responsiblity for your decision? NOT in any way "accusing" you of anything- just food for thought. Put on your "big girl" panties and make a decision and accept responsability for the consequences.
I believe you will be happier if you make the decision rather than trying to manuver someone else into making it for you. GOOD LUCK!

[notlikethenormal]

GO!!! And Go Now!

Talk to him, tell him how you truly feel, tell him what you told us. That you want to make something for yourself and experience new things, if he doesn't respect you for that then he doesn't deserve you.

[smithsd]

I think you should reread your post. Your answer is there. It is very clear to me what you want to do.

With that said, I’ll tell you what I told my son when he was thinking about breaking up with a girlfriend. Imagine you do let that person go and the single life isn’t all the fun and glamour you thought it would be…then months later you find yourself at a stoplight in town, look over to the car in the next lane. Guess who is in it? Your ex, with his/her new flame. As you watch them share an intimate moment while waiting for the light, how do you feel? If you are happy for him/he,r then move on. If you are hurt or sad then you are not ready to take that step.