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  • Krista11111
    Junior Member
    • Jun 2012
    • 2

    Confused... My boyfriend might be gay?!

    Okay so I have been with my bf for just over 3 years. I'm 27 and he is 34. We have had for the most part a pretty great relationship until the past few months. He said he wanted to break up because he felt he is holding me back from living a normal life because he is disabled ( spinal fusion ) and he will never be able to do fun things like camping or hiking or anything active really except for going for walks. I convinced him i was okay with that and we got back together a few weeks later then a week later he said he is really trying to be happy but something is missing and we are on a break again. He is very metrosexual...examples: he loves mani's and pedi's, nice clothes, he showers twice daily, moisturizes, shaves his whole body, he has sleepovers at his male friends ( not because he can't get home ) they plan sleepovers. He reads up on all celebrity gossip, colors his hair. I was also told by one of my male friends that while we were all on vacation together, they were taking a walk by the ocean And saw a gay couple and my boyfriend suggested that it would be funny if they pretended to kiss. My male friend is very straight and was a little freaked out. I am wondering if he keeps trying to take breaks because he loves me and doesn't want to hurt me with his sexuality in the end. He also comes from a very strict European family that would not accept him if he were gay. Could he be scared to leave me but scared to hurt me as well?
  • Ashlee T.
    Veteran Member
    • Dec 2008
    • 6412

    Well it's certainly a possibility........

    How is your sex life? Does he show physical attraction towards you and other females?
    "Be what you're looking for."

    Comment

    • Krista11111
      Junior Member
      • Jun 2012
      • 2

      Our sex life has gone through many stages, some months we have sex 3-5 times per week but have also had times where we only had sex once a month. He has an easy time getting an erection but hard time ejaculating. Sometimes he will not orgasm for days. He shows attraction towards women (me mostly) but also makes comments about men he finds "stylish". He has pictures of Ryan gosseling on his computer desk. I just want to figure out what's going on so I don't wake up 5-10 years down the road and have the shock of my life... Any input is truly appreciated!

      Comment

      • rcoreyus
        Veteran Member
        • Sep 2007
        • 4369

        It is quite possible that he is Bi. That is OK, if he is happy to just be with you - after all straight people are also attracted to people other than their spouses, but are not expected to act on that attraction.

        Comment

        • Hugo-B
          Veteran Member
          • Jun 2012
          • 957

          One problem many gay men unfortunately have, are the difficulties society throws at gay people. My GF's ex is bisexual and he was in a relationship with a man when she met him. She says he admits her that he goes through phases where he will find men attractive and women less attractive and vice versa. I have no problem with this. I've met him and you tell that he has that abstract 'quality' many gay me have which you just can't quite put your finger on. He hasn't moved on since they split up a year ago, and she's admitted to me she once told him she thought he would be better off with a man, but he responded by saying he couldn't go through with the all the complications of 'coming out' since his life was 'normal' for the 7 years they were together.

          Very sad if you ask me, I've met the guy and he's a really decent chap, it's a shame the way some people in our society view and treat others.
          "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look" Julius Caesar

          Comment

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