[dancingintherain1178]

mY NAME IS eVA AND I JOINED THIS GROUP BACK ABOUT A MONTH OR SO AGO. i AM GOING THROUGH SUCH A BITTER DIVORCE AND OUR TWO AUTISTIC CHILDREN ARE CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE. I MARRIED HIM WHEN I WAS 18 YEARS OLD AND IM NOW 33. THERE WAS ALOT OF UGLYNESS HAPPENING IN OUR REALTIONSHIP... I AM FIRST TO ADMIT I HAD MY MOMENTS... lONG STORY SHORT, i SUFFERED A BRAIN INJURY 10 YEARS AGO DUE TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. (I AM NOW COMING TO ACCEPT THAT IT WAS AND IS NEVER OKAY FOR A MAN OR WOMAN TO PUT THERE HANDS ON EACH OTHER) I DID NOT HIT HIM, MY BACKGROUND AS FAR AS MY FAMILY AND RELIGEOUS CULTURE HAD TAUGHT ME THAT A WOMAN IS TO BE SUBMISSIVE AND SUBSERVIANT TO HER HUSBAND AND ANY MEN IN THE FAMILY. AFTER MY TBI, HE CONTINUED TO MAKE HIMSELF AVAILABLE TO MORE THAN JUST WOMEN HE MET WHILE HE WAS "OUT". THE WOMEN HE BACAME INVOLVED WITH ENDED UP BEING SOME OF MY HOMEHEALTH NURSES... JUST OVER A YEAR AGO THE LATEST ONE MOVED IN, I SLEPT ON OUR 10 YEAR OLD SON'S FLOOR FOR ALMOST 10 MONTHS BEFORE LEAVING...BEFORE I LEFT, THEY HAD THEIR FIRST CHILD. I HAD SO MUCH ANGER AND HURT AND CONFUSION. i DECIDED I WAS NO LONGER GOING TO WAIT ON ANYONE BUT MYSELF AND MY CHILDREN. AS MESSED UP AS IT MAY SEEM, I DID CONTINUE TAKING CARE OF THEIR BABY BOY BECAUSE IN MY MIND, I HAD NO HEART TO IGNORE HIM. IT WASNT HIS FAULT, AND AT THE LEAST- HE WAS AND IS MY CHILDRENS HALF BROTHER...

NOW, THE REASON FOR MY APOLOGY...WITH IN A FEW DAYS OF JOINING W.H, I READ AND RESPONDED TO A THREAD FROM A WOMAN WHO WAS THE "OTHER" WOMAN REGARDING SOMEONE ELSES LIFE, NOT MINE. I HAVE HAD SOME TIME TO REFLECT, AND I AM ASHAMED AT MY RESPONSE AND MY BEHAVIOR TOWARDS HER. SHE WAS ASKING FOR HELP AND ADVICE REGARDING THE SITUATION SHE WAS IN AND I PANICKED. I SPOKE VERY UGLY TO HER AND I MADE IT CLEAR THAT IT WAS PEOPLE LIKE "HER" WHO NOT ONLY DESTROYED MARRIAGES BUT IN THE END CHILDREN END UP HURTING. i TOOK OUT MY HURT AND SADNESS ON HER. FOR THAT I AM SORRY. I HOPE THAT ANYONE WHO READS THIS THREAD WILL FORGIVE ME?! I AM COMING TO CLOSURE OF MY OWN, AND HAVE MET A MAN WHO IS AND HAS BEEN TEACHING ME THAT MY ATTITUDE IS FAR WORSE THAN WHAT I HAD ALWAYS THOUGHT. I HAVE BEEN TO ANALYTICAL OF OTHERS AND AS A RESULT I HAVE CUT MYSELF SHORT. AGAIN, IM VERY SORRY.

[jns]

Sometimes when we hurt we lash out blindly. I hope you can give insight into situations that can help others. Welcome back.

[dancingintherain1178]

Thank you JNS. I have not much wisdom, but def some experience.... Im off to bed. Sweetdreams to all of you!!!!

[Ashlee T.]

I love how time and reflection gives us new outlooks and perspectives. Thanks for coming back and for your apology to anyone that may have been hurt by your response. Don't be too hard on yourself for it. We are all flawed. And when something hits us right in the heart, it's normal to be sensitive about it. Welcome back!!!

[KMonte85]

I'm glad you had time to reflect and realize that your reaction to that poster was not right. This is why we're all here, to grow and learn. Thanks for coming back and sharing this with us!

[pinkandblackpandas]

Hi Eva I wish that there were more women out there like you who isn't afraid to admit that they we're wrong even though I didn't see what you put but seeing that you just put your heart out, anyone who chooses not to forgive you is a full because you admitted that you was in the wrong and there's nothing else you can do :-) but don't be hard in yourself everybody speaks out of anger. And what you said was the ugly truth maybe be a little more kind about t as hard as that maybe ;-) I wish you the best of luck in life. <3

[strawberry1]

I admire your strength. I'm not sure what you had written previously, but I do not think you owe any apologies. Infidelity, cheating in any aspect, is immoral. When you make your vows it is "through sickness and health, through death do us part." I know sometimes it is inevitable, but as much as possible you should try to work things out. And that's what it sounds like you did. You tried. He is at fault and she is. As a female she should have respected your relationship. At the same time, things happen so that better things can come through.

It makes me sad knowing how disrespectful some women are that they know that men are married and still go with it. Some women have lowered their self-respect, dignity, and standards. Unfortunately, I know plenty of girls that have been the "other" and are fine with it.

mY NAME IS eVA AND I JOINED THIS GROUP BACK ABOUT A MONTH OR SO AGO. i AM GOING THROUGH SUCH A BITTER DIVORCE AND OUR TWO AUTISTIC CHILDREN ARE CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE. I MARRIED HIM WHEN I WAS 18 YEARS OLD AND IM NOW 33. THERE WAS ALOT OF UGLYNESS HAPPENING IN OUR REALTIONSHIP... I AM FIRST TO ADMIT I HAD MY MOMENTS... lONG STORY SHORT, i SUFFERED A BRAIN INJURY 10 YEARS AGO DUE TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. (I AM NOW COMING TO ACCEPT THAT IT WAS AND IS NEVER OKAY FOR A MAN OR WOMAN TO PUT THERE HANDS ON EACH OTHER) I DID NOT HIT HIM, MY BACKGROUND AS FAR AS MY FAMILY AND RELIGEOUS CULTURE HAD TAUGHT ME THAT A WOMAN IS TO BE SUBMISSIVE AND SUBSERVIANT TO HER HUSBAND AND ANY MEN IN THE FAMILY. AFTER MY TBI, HE CONTINUED TO MAKE HIMSELF AVAILABLE TO MORE THAN JUST WOMEN HE MET WHILE HE WAS "OUT". THE WOMEN HE BACAME INVOLVED WITH ENDED UP BEING SOME OF MY HOMEHEALTH NURSES... JUST OVER A YEAR AGO THE LATEST ONE MOVED IN, I SLEPT ON OUR 10 YEAR OLD SON'S FLOOR FOR ALMOST 10 MONTHS BEFORE LEAVING...BEFORE I LEFT, THEY HAD THEIR FIRST CHILD. I HAD SO MUCH ANGER AND HURT AND CONFUSION. i DECIDED I WAS NO LONGER GOING TO WAIT ON ANYONE BUT MYSELF AND MY CHILDREN. AS MESSED UP AS IT MAY SEEM, I DID CONTINUE TAKING CARE OF THEIR BABY BOY BECAUSE IN MY MIND, I HAD NO HEART TO IGNORE HIM. IT WASNT HIS FAULT, AND AT THE LEAST- HE WAS AND IS MY CHILDRENS HALF BROTHER...

NOW, THE REASON FOR MY APOLOGY...WITH IN A FEW DAYS OF JOINING W.H, I READ AND RESPONDED TO A THREAD FROM A WOMAN WHO WAS THE "OTHER" WOMAN REGARDING SOMEONE ELSES LIFE, NOT MINE. I HAVE HAD SOME TIME TO REFLECT, AND I AM ASHAMED AT MY RESPONSE AND MY BEHAVIOR TOWARDS HER. SHE WAS ASKING FOR HELP AND ADVICE REGARDING THE SITUATION SHE WAS IN AND I PANICKED. I SPOKE VERY UGLY TO HER AND I MADE IT CLEAR THAT IT WAS PEOPLE LIKE "HER" WHO NOT ONLY DESTROYED MARRIAGES BUT IN THE END CHILDREN END UP HURTING. i TOOK OUT MY HURT AND SADNESS ON HER. FOR THAT I AM SORRY. I HOPE THAT ANYONE WHO READS THIS THREAD WILL FORGIVE ME?! I AM COMING TO CLOSURE OF MY OWN, AND HAVE MET A MAN WHO IS AND HAS BEEN TEACHING ME THAT MY ATTITUDE IS FAR WORSE THAN WHAT I HAD ALWAYS THOUGHT. I HAVE BEEN TO ANALYTICAL OF OTHERS AND AS A RESULT I HAVE CUT MYSELF SHORT. AGAIN, IM VERY SORRY.