[kerryharnden]

So i have been having some major issues/fights with my bf lately. His parents recently moved downstairs from us. Its their house and all they bought last year. We moved into it...and then they began remodeling the basement into an aprtment/home. And then in the past month they moved in. He has noo problem with it because its his family and he loves to be around them. They are great pepple and i like them alot but i just cant feel like i dont want to live above his parents and share the same house. Am i wrong for feeling this way?? He takes it personally and thinks i dont like his parents

[KMonte85]

I can understand not wanting to live that close to family. I sure wouldn't, and that includes my own! Don't get me wrong, I love them with all my heart, but distance is necessary for me. Perhaps it is for you too. Your boyfriend probably does feel hurt. On the surface it looks like you don't like them (do you? that's a legit question). If you do care for them, you need to make sure he understand it has NOTHING to do with your feelings for them, and EVERYTHING to do with your level of comfort/need for personal space. Do your bf's parents visit often? Are they a constant presence, or do they mind their own business?

Here's an additional snafu to your dilemma: it's THEIR house. If you don't want to share a home with them then you will need to find your own place, one that they do not own. It would be on you and your boyfriend to move to a suitable home that is not owned by his parents.

[Hugo-B]

There are a lot of people whom I like, 99% of whom I wouldn't want to live with. Living with a partner is difficult enough, let alone living with their parents as well. You need to constantly be on your best behavior, or **** near close to it for fear of being judged and criticized - not my idea of fun, unless they are particularly laid back people.

Keep in mind that if your situation is a worthwhile trade-off, i.e., you are saving money due to paying little rent or there is some other benefit then it may be worth sucking it up for a while. If the amount of rent you are paying is equal to that which would rent you a similar or bette place then I would kick up since you should be enjoying all of the privacy and independence you would otherwise be benefiting from by having your own place.

[Hugo-B]

Also, I think your BF is being slightly unreasonable if he can't see your side of things and immediately jumps to the conclusion that you don't like them.

[kerryharnden]

Ok i think i figured this out,lol! Ok...so i Def like his parents. Thats why this is such a hard situation. They are so nice and generous. So why am i struggling to live above them?? I dont underatand it so my bf def doesnt get it either. I guess its just the fact that my privacy and personal space feels invaded now. I used to Love where i live. So quiet and peaceful. Now i have to worry about everything i do. If my tv is too loud. If im too loud walking at nite. I cant jus walk around my house freely...i have to always worry if they are right outside or in my front yard. They are doing alot of remodeling,landscaping andpinting the

....and painting the house. So theres people around constantly. Loud noises from construction etc etc. Its no longer my quiet lil happy home. And i totally get that its their house. And i do see they are making the home i live in much better w all the landacaping and painting. It really looks awesome now. But i think its really a hard transition for me. Maybe if i had

.....maybe if i had known from the beginning that this is how the situation wud be then i wud be accepting of it. But it kinda all happened so fast and destroyed my illusion of living alone w my bf in a big nice quiet house when i met my bf he lived with his parents at 35yrs old! With his then girlfriend. So he is clearly ok with this kind of lifestyle. I am not. I moved out at 18yrs old and never looked back. Im very independant and living w my family after i moved out

Was never an option again for me. Sorry for all the responses. Im having a hard time figuring this forum thing out.lol. Anyways thats most of whats going on. I just hate how its creating SO much drama w my bf. He takea how i feel so peraonally. And we fight til were bout to break up over it. I have thot about eventually buying my own house but i jus gotta save a bit more money. But hen i heard his parents say they might buy another house eventually for them to move to and leave us w this house. Right now tho there is no real indication of them going anywhere. Guess i just got to be patient and bite my tongue and see what happens. Just hate that my bf and i think his parents too now think i dont like them because of all my complaining about it

Well thats def a huge part of it that i do feel like i gotta be on best behavior. I mean they are actually really cool people but i still feel i gotta be somewhat impressive all the time as i am dating their only son. And im not a very tidy person so my house def isnt spotless and they have access to come in any time. So thats def nerveracking to me.

Also..i figured once they moved in they wud reduce our rent but they didnt. So that bugs me. We do have a good price on rent i guess. We cudnt really pay 1200 a month for a nice 4 bedroom house in our area. But also if i paid a bit more elsewhere for a house...i wudnt have to share it with people

[kerryharnden]

Absolutely agree he is unreasonable! If i comment at all how something is annoying me with his parents he gets instantly sooo defensive and says its all me. That im unappreciative for all they have done for us. He thinks its totally personal. And it really isnt personal with me. It cud be my own parents down there or anybody at all and i wud be bugged by it. They let their dog bark for hrs yesterday. Sooo annoying! And he doesntmind

[kerryharnden]

The next day he usually feels bad for snapping at me and he kisses my butt. But initially he makes me out to be such a bad guy