[acerousme]

This is just a rant...Its been building for a while, and now I just need to write.

So the first will be about my sister. She's supposed to be there for me through thick and think. So the other day I was rushed to the ER with severe stomach pain. My boyfriend came along, and I wanted my sister (it was about 5:30 am)...she was snappy on the phone because I woke her up. And then she decided to come down to the hospital, and then said "You had better be really sick! I spent my last 15 bucks on parking"...ya thanks for asking if I was okay. The hospital didnt exactly do their job, and didnt tell me that my severe stomach pain was caused by my kidney infection (I didnt have money for my meds until thursday...it was tuesday morning)...The doctor then went on to say "You're here all the time, you have an anxiety disorder, and the urine sample you gave was contaminated..."

(Im there "all the time" [once a month] because I have a disease and a lot of my specialist appointments are there, and I didnt ask for anything for my anxiety...) So, my sister was ****ed...and drove me and my boyfriend home. I slept for a good 24 hours. My sister then called my boyfriend and told him to hide all the pills, including the meds to control my disease because she thought I was a danger to myself, and that she was going to try and get me locked up in an insane asylum because Im so "unhappy" and "starving for attention". I then got on the phone and asked her why she was saying all of this...SHE ACCUSED ME OF SPITTING IN MY URINE SAMPLE...my boyfriend was helping me give it (poor guy...:/), and said I needed to grow up. I havent spoken to her since. Now shes putting things on facebook about me being crazy, and how I owe her 15 for wasting her time and how i'll never pay her back...WTF?!?! WHY is she being like this??? what do I do??? I am NOT crazy...she drives me crazy but im not crazy...


The second part....my wonderful boyfriend. I found an old "online marriage license" for him and his ex...actually he showed me...he said it was nothing and promptly closed the window. I thought nothing of it. Then my curiosity got the best of me so I went and looked at it again...and I found vows that he had written....

"************************************************* ************************************************** ************************************************** ************************************************** *************************,You are the greatest love of my life, and I couldn\t imagine living without you in my life. I want you to be with me to the end of time, and to grow old together. You are the one thought that never leaves, and I truly hope never does. You are the greatest .Please marry me, and promise me the rest of time together."...

Yeah, sweet stuff and all...but I have a note that he wrote me, and it says ALMOST THE EXACT SAME THING....

"************************************************* ************************************************** *****************************, You are the greatest love of my life and I cant imagine spending my life without you. I want to be with you until the end of time. To grow old with you. All I think of is you. You are the greatest woman I have ever known. Marry me, and make me the happiest man on the planet"


.....this shouldnt hurt so much but it does....I don't feel so special, and find myself second-guessing things. The what-ifs are setting in!! I love the guy with all of my heart. But what the heck???




Thats my rant...I sort of feel better

[Little]

If this is the same sister that regularly one-ups me and starts fights with me on facebook, you already know what I think of her She is so threatened by your friendship with somebody across the continent that she has to be nasty. Tell her if she wants to lock you up, she better bring her best fight and be prepared to spend more than $15. Lawyers, they're expensive. Assume she is just running her nasty little mouth. Ignore her. Easier said than done, I know. (And for your doctor, report him to the hospital He sounds like a liability to them.)

There are only so many words for love, boo. And when you take an individual, you limit them even further to words they know and phrases they think sound good. There are only so many ways we can, as individuals, describe our feelings. The notes are uncannily similar, but people grow and learn and realize they have moved on from loving one person desperately to loving another completely. Take his actions at face value. What do they tell you?

[acerousme]

Yeah, THATS the one, LIttle. She deleted me off of facebook AND blocked me. First she deleted me off of her family list. Like, come on...really? And my brother is coming down in the beginning of November, and she's already told him that he wont be seeing me on her watch. THE GUY IS LIKE...11 YEARS OLDER THAN HER, and she wants to boss HIM around too?? Shes got balls, I'll give her that. But this is no way for a sister to act. I was supposed to be the upset one, and now she seems more upset than me. Shes always trying to play the victim. AND...she called up her mother in law (my ex boss) and told her I said all of these nasty things about her. WHAT THE FIDDLESTICKS??

(I did report the doctor...There was no way he was getting away with his negligent ways)

I love my man, Heart and soul. His actions speak louder than words. He is so loving, and great to me. We do have our moments where he seems bitter and grumpy but we all get that way. (really doesnt help when I am PMSing like a zit on satans bottom, and hes tired from working a 15 hour shift). But he is my best friend. We pretty much do everything together. He doesnt have a lot of friends here, and neither do I, so we will hang out and play video games, watch movies, chive together, etc. Yeah, I've had to learn about giving as much as taking. And it sucks because I'm not a fan of sitting in a musical instrument store for hours to touch guitars (I cant play them so I get frustrated and wanna leave) but he will come into a shoe store and sit through the agonizing hours of me trying on shoes, walking in them, looking at them from different angles..lol. (Actually, I asked him when we first got together if he was gay because he knew the style of pump I was wearing)

But the words arent bothering me anymore. He said them over four years ago....and words are just words, right?




Its my C U Next Tuesday of a sister thats really driving me insane...

[Little]

Well, guess I know where I'm going next ... on facebook to love all over your page with no consequences! BAHAHAHAHAHA!

She blocked you? Good. You don't have to see her fantastic little ways anymore. Take the hint and ignore her future apologizing calls and whatnot. Blood may be thicker than water, but ... even blood can be tainted :3

[Claret]

I'd just have to say regarding the words he`s written to the both of you (you and the ex) is that some people, especially when they aren`t great writers, will say the same thing rather than try to come up with a new way of speaking or saying it. I wouldn`t place too much of anything on him repeating himself. I rather like to think you can love many people, in many ways, and there are only so many ways of expressing it.