[knowledge]

Ok, so Im in college right now on a path to become a Pharmacist, My boyfriend and i have been together for about a year, he started college a year after me, because I am in a earlier graduating class, and he still hasnt completed a full year of college. I am now a junior, him...still a freshman basically. He is extremely smart and driven, and he has never had a set plan of what he wanted to do career wise. Now, he says he wants to pursue a basketball career. Ok. I am all for supporting your man, but I just cant take him seriously when he shows me no effort. He says he's going to work hard to get there, but i've still seen nothing. I could understand if he played throughout high school and maybe got a scholarship to play in college, but no. He shoots around at the gym with friends, recreational type stuff, I dont really know his potential but from what i've seen he's not really NBA material, and when i asked about a plan b, he said he wasnt going to seek one. What? I dont want him to think i dont support him, but am i wrong for wanting someone with more stable and realistic career plans and goals? I dont know what to tell him without offending him, or any advice to give him, and the last thing i want him to think is that i dont support him. What do i do?

[Guest]

A big part of this, as it appears to me is his lack of maturity. Since you are in a field of study that is very detail/fact focused, why not go out on the Internet, do a little statistical research and simply present the numbers/facts to him of his chances of getting anywhere with his basketball "dream".

You know and I know that he is much more likely to get struck by lightning twice, in the exact same spot, as he, or aynoe else is to make it playing basketball, let alone the NBA. Are his long term retirement plans playing the lottery too?

Frankly, I'd give him a set amount of time to grow up and get focused on something meaningful in college and life or I'd cut my losses if I were you and look for someone who is.

One more thing....Please read this quote 100 times to yourself

am i wrong for wanting someone with more stable and realistic career plans and goals?

The answer should be crystal clear.... Of course not!

Good luck with your studies. PharmD is a very intense program for which a solid performance in your undergraduate work is absolutely necessary.

I wish you the best.

[Little]

It doesn't sound like this is a serious goal on his part ... more like something to say because he doesn't know what to say. No matter how much he verbally insists he's going to be in basketball, it's all smoke and mirrors until he does something.

Which is not to say he doesn't believe the smoke and mirrors himself. Supposing you both entered college immediately after high school, you're both still VERY young to be decided on what you're going to do for the rest of your life. More than half of all college students change their major (the stat I read is 70% - wow!) Just because he doesn't know what he wants at ~20 years old doesn't mean that he's not driven ... just that he's understandably confused. You're totally within your rights to want someone who isn't confused about their future, though. His indecision and self-deception here might be indicative of deeper issues that you'd want to avoid.

[BabyGirl]

to add to Seekers Advice,
He wants to be " What when he Grows Up " ? lol

I know the first year of College is an Exploratory one. Unless you got a Grant or Scholarship for particular excellence .
But wanting to be a Basketball Player is an Admiral one. Though if he didn't play back when and really doesn't play now. He may wish to go to Plan B soon.
If he loves Basketball , maybe he can try to be a Coach or " PE " Teacher.

But ... It sounds like you have Outgrown him as a Boyfriend . And even if he was NBA material or famous Now, he would most likely Out Grow You ..
As soon as he got Motivated or any form of " Fame " , Practice will come first , you will come 2nd .

So I would say Support his efforts , Continue your Goals and Achievements .
And do NOT let his , fall backs or Dreams of " failure or Success " take away from your Goals.



Time to move on. Time to move forward . Time to think of 2 years from now, when you Graduate College.
Where will you be, he be ?