[Euphoric]

As BD said, you're going to feel hurt and sad because you invested your whole self, emotionally and physically, into this relationship. The question is: How much longer do you want to live your life being treating this way??? Why??? A person is on their BEST BEHAVIOR while they are dating. This is the "wooing stage" of the relationship. It sounds like you are looking for a partner for life, which is why you are so hurt. You have given everything of yourself, hoping that if you do, he will change, he will come around, he will treat you the same. THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! You are fooling yourself if you think it will. By your own admission, he is an arrogant, manipulative person.

If he is staying away because he knows it bothers you, then what does that say about him??
Normally when he is wrong, he just comes back like nothing happened. What does that say?? He doesn't apologize or show any remorse for his actions. Do I think he'll come back around? Probably not, or at least not anytime soon. Why? Because you normally chase him, again, your words. Why should he chase you? You are correct, this behavior is ridiculous, so why are you longing for it?? There are guys out there who are more than willing to find a wonderful person to share their life with.

I think that you put up with this guy because you are afraid to step out of your comfort zone. You deserve better than this!!

[Ashlee T.]

Well put Euphoric.

Missredd - remember what I said yesterday about how you'd get lonely, you'd get sad, and suddenly you'd find yourself willing to put up with the mistreatment and abuse just to have him back. THAT is where you are right now. You thought you'd hear from him, and you haven't...so your codependency is going into panic mode. That part passes with time, but only if you stay away from him and let yourself heal.

Who cares WHY he hasn't called or come around? I'm just glad he hasn't. Why does his reasoning even matter at this point? You have to make a choice. You either stop trying to analyze his behavior and figure out WHY he's so bad to you (after all...does it really matter why???) and decide that you're worth more and move on with your life.... or you accept this emotional roller coaster abusive life with him. If you pick the latter, you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of hurt, stress, pain, distrust, abuse, etc. It's a choice that as an adult woman, you have to make at this point.

[Missredd]

Well put Euphoric.

Missredd - remember what I said yesterday about how you'd get lonely, you'd get sad, and suddenly you'd find yourself willing to put up with the mistreatment and abuse just to have him back. THAT is where you are right now. You thought you'd hear from him, and you haven't...so your codependency is going into panic mode. That part passes with time, but only if you stay away from him and let yourself heal.

Who cares WHY he hasn't called or come around? I'm just glad he hasn't. Why does his reasoning even matter at this point? You have to make a choice. You either stop trying to analyze his behavior and figure out WHY he's so bad to you (after all...does it really matter why???) and decide that you're worth more and move on with your life.... or you accept this emotional roller coaster abusive life with him. If you pick the latter, you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of hurt, stress, pain, distrust, abuse, etc. It's a choice that as an adult woman, you have to make at this point.

Thank you ladies so much for all of your help and words of encouragement. There's a lot if wisdom on this site and I'm thankful to have found it.

[Scintillating]

Relationships are built on trust. If he doesn't trust you and you haven't given him any reason not to, then there really isn't anything you can do. Don't look at it as a failure on your part, it is a failure on his.

[MoeJr]

He's staying away to get you to be the one to give in first. If you give in he knows he holds the winning hand.

Totally agree with jns. Again it's a control thing. Hold tight, work through your healing, work on you if you think you have faults (don't know your situation). You seem to me to be very deep, a caring person, someone else is sooo much more deserving of your attention than this guy!!