[poudrier2083]

Ok so my man and i have been together now since January, almost a year now!

But one thing is bothering me terribly... in the beginning and even now, he calls his ex's voicemail a few times a month to listen to her voicemails.. now he has always told me hes making sure his mother isnt still inviting her over and so on.. and i think its ****ing retarded giving weve been together 10 months now, his mother knows were together, shes not going to invite his ex over and hasnt ever, because whenever i call him out on it, hes like well my mom isnt calling her, but i still want to be ahundred percent....... i mean what is going on here.. is he still hung up on her? does he just wanna hear her **** voice? is he just plain nosy?? oh and another thing, why in the hell does he go look at her myspace a few times A WEEK.... he claims he just wants to see a picture of her new man? which she has put up before, so ok hes seen what her new guy looks like(not that he should care) so he doesnt need to do that ****.. i havent ever gone and checked up on my ex or looked for him on myspace to ooogle over pix of him.. it just hurts to always have in the back of my mind knowing hes doing this..and i always get so upset and cry my eyes out because i tell him i think maybe he still likes her or finds her cute or something.. but yet he still does it... do i just try and deal with it and maybe someday hell stop? because he does know how much it hurts me. so really no point in saying anymore to him... i mean its been how long? it totally sucks and hurts at the same time and i just need some advice and hoping this helps me feel alittle better, i think aobut this stuff all the time... and im sure some of you might say they have a thing going on but i know thats not the case, she would be calling him and texting him all the time like she did in the beginning and finally in July he did what i asked and called her and told her to move on because for the first 7 months of our relationship OMG! this girl just didnt get it.. or maybe she didnt know he had a new girlfriend..me...

[JubesInquest]

Ok so my man and i have been together now since January, almost a year now!

But one thing is bothering me terribly... in the beginning and even now, he calls his ex's voicemail a few times a month to listen to her voicemails.. now he has always told me hes making sure his mother isnt still inviting her over and so on.. and i think its ****ing retarded giving weve been together 10 months now, his mother knows were together, shes not going to invite his ex over and hasnt ever, because whenever i call him out on it, hes like well my mom isnt calling her, but i still want to be ahundred percent....... i mean what is going on here.. is he still hung up on her? does he just wanna hear her **** voice? is he just plain nosy?? oh and another thing, why in the hell does he go look at her myspace a few times A WEEK.... he claims he just wants to see a picture of her new man? which she has put up before, so ok hes seen what her new guy looks like(not that he should care) so he doesnt need to do that ****.. i havent ever gone and checked up on my ex or looked for him on myspace to ooogle over pix of him.. it just hurts to always have in the back of my mind knowing hes doing this..and i always get so upset and cry my eyes out because i tell him i think maybe he still likes her or finds her cute or something.. but yet he still does it... do i just try and deal with it and maybe someday hell stop? because he does know how much it hurts me. so really no point in saying anymore to him... i mean its been how long? it totally sucks and hurts at the same time and i just need some advice and hoping this helps me feel alittle better, i think aobut this stuff all the time... and im sure some of you might say they have a thing going on but i know thats not the case, she would be calling him and texting him all the time like she did in the beginning and finally in July he did what i asked and called her and told her to move on because for the first 7 months of our relationship OMG! this girl just didnt get it.. or maybe she didnt know he had a new girlfriend..me...

The key words are "He should not care."

He's obviously still hung up on her, and, unfortunately you got the guy on the rebound.

The ex isn't giving a good doggone about what your current b/f does; so why is he so into her business? Why call her voicemail everyday? Why check her "my space" page several times a week? Furthermore, if he wants to know if his mother is inviting her anywhere, why not just ask the mother?

What's the purpose in trying to see if she has someone new in her life? Why does he care?

No sense in you crying because your b/f has unresolved break-up issues.
You deserve better than this.

[sourpuss]

A: You deserve better. He's not over her and you should move on to someone who is in to you. Not someone who is in to you because he can't have his ex.

B: Someone needs to tell her to change her password, he is completely invading her privacy.

[poudrier2083]

gosh i really wish he didnt care.. maybe he doesnt and hes just bored?
could there be anything that could be said that i havent said before to make him understand how i feel and maybe he would stop? he and i just talked about it the other nite actually and he said he hasnt called her voicemail. im doing my best to believe him, i mean theres really no way of knowing because in the past he just deletes it outta his phone(i know i shouldnt be snooping either) but he has still looked online at her. and goodness, i wonder why all the time.. and i dont wanna ask him because i have in the past and he gets irritated...maybe i should just let it go for awhile and see if it stops, kinda hard to know though since he covers his tracks lol. i mean what should i do if it continues on through our second year? i mean enough is enough after ONE year am i right?

[JubesInquest]

gosh i really wish he didnt care.. maybe he doesnt and hes just bored?
could there be anything that could be said that i havent said before to make him understand how i feel and maybe he would stop? he and i just talked about it the other nite actually and he said he hasnt called her voicemail. im doing my best to believe him, i mean theres really no way of knowing because in the past he just deletes it outta his phone(i know i shouldnt be snooping either) but he has still looked online at her. and goodness, i wonder why all the time.. and i dont wanna ask him because i have in the past and he gets irritated...maybe i should just let it go for awhile and see if it stops, kinda hard to know though since he covers his tracks lol. i mean what should i do if it continues on through our second year? i mean enough is enough after ONE year am i right?

There is nothing you can do or say to change your b/f.

That's what is so hard for a lot of us to understand: we CAN NOT change anybody. This guy feels the way he feels.
You can talk to him about it, you can snoop after him.... this has got to be agonizing for you.

If he didn't get his ex out of his system before you came along, then how long are you willing to wait for this guy to finally get her OUT of his system? The 2nd year? 3rd? 4th? The 12th of NEVER????

We can keep telling you this guy has unresolved issues and feelings towards his ex and you are just going through emotional torture trying to do and say things to "snap him out of it."
In the final analysis, it's up to you if you're going to continue to go through this emotional merry-go-round that your current b/f is putting you through.

He's showing you better than he could ever tell you that he's still stuck on his ex.

[waynebarnett847]

He still care for her ex, he is not yet over her ex.
Much better to leave him, don't put yourself his second choice.