[*~SimplyMe~*]

I dunno what to do maybe someone can help me. A few months ago my best friend moved to Texas with her fiance all of a sudden. I was happy for her but really sad that i lost my best friend. I couple of weeks ago he started hitting her and she calls me at three in the morning crying and telling me he hit her, and his mama just called them telling them he has a warrant out for his arrest. What confuses me is the fact he got a a speeding ticket a few days ago wouldnt they of got him than? She told me no because they crossed the mississippi river they cant so I said whatever. Last night she calls me again saying she caught him cheating and the first thing he did was beat the hell out of her. She called me and I said i wasnt going to pay for my car this month because i was going to buy her a ticket home. Right when i called her to give her the information she said no its fine she is safe and they made up. I yelled at her and told her its not ok and she isnt safe. I started crying and i told her im worried the next time i will see her is in a casket and she called me a ***** and told me im too judge mental and i didnt know what i was talking bout. she told me she hated me and she never wanted to talk to me again. This is my best friend. Right now i have a right mind to go to texas to beat his *** and drag her home. I love her she is my sister and my best friend I dunno what to do anymore i'm really scared someone please help me is there anything i can do? can i help put him away with her refusing to pressing charges?

[Little]

Just keep telling her to get out of that house, come back to live with her mother or you. Give her a place to come home to, because it's clear her fiancé only moved her to Texas so that she would allow the abuse.
Save up the money to buy her ticket without having to miss your car payment ... or just don't tell her you're missing it. Give her no iota of a reason not to go home.
Good luck!!

[sourpuss]

Make it very clear to her that she can call you and come home at the drop of a hat and that you will have a plane ticket waiting for her the second she needs one. Let her know that you love her and that you are there for her no matter what. Save the money up now for the ticket so you can buy it on the spot if/when she does call and is serious that she is leaving him.

He can only keep her as long as she has no self esteem. Tell her often how much you love her and how wonderful, beautiful, etc she is regularly. Not in the context of dissing him, but just to build her confidence in herself.

Other than that, unfortunately, there is not much else you can do for her. Hopefully she will come to her senses before she gets really hurt....or worse.

Good luck to the both of you. Stay safe.

[JubesInquest]

You've done all you can do for now.

Abusers will turn the person they're abusing against all their friends and even their family.
When you try to help them out of the situation, and the abuser has "smoothed" things over with the person they've been abusing (until the next WWF SmackDown! session), they turn against YOU and call YOU all kinds of names and WILL fight YOU!!!

If you should talk to her again, don't even inquire about her situation----let her tell you. Let her know that you're always there for her no matter what.

As the other posters mentioned, just save and then set aside the money for a return ticket for your girlfriend and don't miss your car payment.

Once she gets away from this man, she'll be able to talk to you freely and she'll let you know she didn't mean what she said.

[*~SimplyMe~*]

Update

Well I couldnt stop thinkin about this and i was thinkin real hard and it hit me. when my mama was worried about my aunt and her husband she did welfare checks. I didnt no her address so i said i was sending her a card. She gave it to me. and i asked where she worked just in case she wasnt home. She said why? I responded because i was reading your blog on myspace and it said you hated your job so thats why I asked she gave it to me. Well an hour goes by and her fiance is blowing up my phone I mean SERIOUSLY BLOWING UP MY PHONE. Than I get a call from the lady cop who went to see her. I was honestly happy that she didnt point her out infront of everyone she was very secretive about it and pulled my friend when she was alone. They talked and she reassure my friend she isnt safe and if she needs help she will be there in a heart beat. For the next two weeks they will be checkin on her everyday to see if she has any marks on her. I happy about that. It scared her fiance becuz he wouldnt go near her and he was saying now they know where I work and live and they can get me. I learned why they didnt get him for his warrants . (The state of VA doesnt expedite west of the miss. river) I told her to come live me and she said ok. It made me cry when she was saying she wasnt mad and that she says i saved her. I just couldnt imagine living another day like that wondering if she is ok or whether she is lying on the floor in her blood. However I will not be at peace until she is home safetly. I want to thank you women for helping me. I still have the problem with her fiance tho he still wont stop calling my phone. Is there anything I can do about that?

[kaylar]

Report his threats to the Police, they will direct you to
call the FBI. I believe it is a crime to make threats or
harass across state lines.

Take it seriously.
And make sure your friend does not contact him
when she arrives. Change your phone number as
well...but only just after she arrives, so that there
will be no 'alert'.

[free spirit]

Also, keep track of everything he says, when he said it or anything that he does. Having a well documented report of his activities will help you. It will show that you are the sane one and that any accusations he may make about you in the future are bull.

And definitely DO NOT let your friend talk to him or give him any information about her (and yours) were abouts.

[JubesInquest]

Great Going!

SimplyMe,
I'm glad that you reached out to your girlfriend the way you did. That was a very wise way of helping her without adding to any "friction" that's already there.

Kaylar is on point. If a person threatens you, it can be considered an act of terrorism and that person should be thrown in jail.
See to it that you contact the authorities about what he's doing.

Free Spirit brings up some valuable points.
Keep all the messages he may have left on your phone---DO NOT erase anything! That will be proof of his violent ways, and will help your girlfriend should she press charges against him.

The young lady should also try to get some counseling for such a horrible ordeal.

I like a happy ending.

[*~SimplyMe~*]

My final update

My final update after I posted this post I thought I was recieving a call from friend but it was her fiance. He called me a ***** and said he wasnt ****** he knows i contacted the police and if i continue to keep in contact with her he would file harassement charges against me. He told me to mind my business and what he does is none of my concern. than he called me a ho and hung up. I didnt want to call back and create more problems for her. I was so mad. I started crying and punching the wall how could she lie to me like this? Why was he calling me from her phone? I was so mad. I reached my hand out to her and she denied me. Than she texts me today saying she is sorry and she wants my help and she cant talk to round him. If she wanted my help why didnt she leave when she had the chance?/??????? Im so confused. Can he really file harassment charges against me for calling HER phone and not his? He was the one blowing up MY phone for the last three days.

[kaylar]

He's lying.
Call the Police.

And call that police officer in
the city where your friend is.
You have to call and keep calling
the police.

Your friend is a typical abused woman.
All he has to do is cry and she forgives him