[wmoon]

We've been married for close to 4 years and together for 10years. 2 weeks ago I snooped on his computer activities after he had been clearing the browser history for months, maybe most of last year and when there was sex say maybe once a month. He was sex chatting at l east at night with various women.

I've told him that its over and moved to my parents place. I've had to text him to talk that my needs were not being met either. He had moved to the living room sofa last month on his own and has mess of rotting food all over. He's pretty much going in circles in my conversation im trying to make.

Any advice on how to get him to stop his act and own up to regain my trust.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi wmoon, welcome to WH.

Firstly, I don't think we can make anybody do anything, however, the right communication is the key to talking together about situations.

And, this is important, no "blame game".. That being, he wasn't giving you what you wanted so you didn't feel like giving him sex, so it's his fault, or visa versa.

Obviously there was a break down and that happens so much in life, I mean lets face it, honey moon stage, lust, love then friendship which makes any relationship stale if that is all that there is, friendship... People get complacent unfortunately and forget all relationships still require alot of work to be strong, happy and fullfilling.

But, you also state that he has stayed in the lounge room for a month.

He has left all rotten food for that period of time, not cleaned up at all.

This sounds like "I give up" followed by, " I am not cleaning up either" type of a real attention seek....

You two need to not text. And, sit down over a coffee, dinner, somewhere public, talk and really talk about what it is that neither of you like, or have liked and if you can solve it.

We all have needs, I am not excusing him however, if they are not met, the internet seems to be the next place people go to before anything physical.. So, I think it is very salvagable providing you both can communicate openly, nicely and realise each others play in the break down.

CW

[wmoon]

Thanks for replying
What bothers me is I had been asking him how come its been only once a month. And I've never held sex between us. I was pushed away if I got close.

[Bladyn'smommy16]

From experience being pushed away for sex is a tell tale sign of cheating.

[Trisha23]

Why cling to a man who obviously doesn't care and love you anymore?