[CourtneyM]

Hi, I'm new to this forum, I wanna know something I have been dating my boyfriend for a month and a half, and he is younger than me, but he has a job and all that, he is 19 and plz dont think wrong of me, but im 27, we get along great, and he feels the same way i feel about him, so i need an opinion is he too young for me? Thx in advance.

[sourpuss]

I'm 30 and my boyfriend just turned 20. It's a little weird, not for us, but I get self conscious about other people's opinions. I think if you are both adults and on the same maturity level and treat each other with love and respect then there shouldn't be a problem.

However, be careful not to get in to a mothering role in the relationship. That's hard for all women to do, even with men their own age, let alone someone much younger.

[CourtneyM]

Well at least someone knows where I am coming from, I really care about him alot and I didnt want to lose him, he is quite mature for being 19, I tell ya, he is better than any ex-bf i have ever had, but thx for telling me, I felt kinda awkward having a younger bf, thx.

[Fallen1]

I myself am in the same situation ... however our age span is a little bigger than the two of you. I just turned 40 a couple of months ago and my wonderful man is 25.

It's a little weird, not for us, but I get self conscious about other people's opinions. I think if you are both adults and on the same maturity level and treat each other with love and respect then there shouldn't be a problem.

I think society has a hard time accepting the older woman younger man because it is not a common thing.

[CourtneyM]

Yeah I know what you mean by that, my mother is flipping out on me about it, he lives two hours away and he turned 19 today....I dont know what the big deal is, I actually love this guy and he feels the same and I still dont know what the deal is, can any1 tell me why she is flipping out on me about this?

[Fallen1]

Yeah I know what you mean by that, my mother is flipping out on me about it, he lives two hours away and he turned 19 today....I dont know what the big deal is, I actually love this guy and he feels the same and I still dont know what the deal is, can any1 tell me why she is flipping out on me about this?

Probably, if I had to guess, it would be as I stated above, that it's because it goes against the "norm" of society.

My parents were all beside themselves in the beginning, wouldn't even let me bring him around, especially when others were there because they didn't want anyone to know. Now they have relaxed a bit.

I used to be self conscious about it at first myself, wondering what other people thought. He always wants to sit beside me on the same side of the booth/table when we go out to eat. I used to wouldn't let him because of me wondering what people would think. Now I don't care. I'd sit in his lap if I could.

I will however add that his maturity had a lot to do with me "agreeing" to date him in the first place. If he acted his age I'm not so sure I would have entered into the relationship.

We've been together now for two years and neither one of us would trade it for the world.

[CourtneyM]

Thanx for the words, I mean that, he was talking to me last night and he is worried about him getting in trouble for dating me....but he loves me very much and it would kill him if he lost me, and his parents like me too, so I dont wanna lose that just because of my momma spazzing on me about that, I told him that he cant get in trouble dating me....and I told him not to worry about it. Should I be worried about anything? Thx.

[sourpuss]

It's not illegal.

Has your mom said exactly what her problem is with it? maybe you two should spend some time with her, go out for dinner or have her over. Maybe spending some time with him will help her see that you two care about each other.

[CourtneyM]

Well, the problem is I dated a 21 yr (well 22 now) but he ended up beating me, and all that (i mean very horrible things, that is all I am gonna say, but he ended up at the end, getting charged with 4th degree assault, and I have a protective order against him for the two and half more yrs, so my mother is afraid he is gonna be the same as this guy, and I told her that he isnt, is it just the age..or what? I dont wanna lose him because of my mother, I love him very much, I talk to him on yahoo everyday and talk to him on the phone as well everyday, I love this person, very much, but he does live two hours away, and I miss him terribly, butI dont have to worry about calling my mother over coz I live in the same house as her, she is helping me out with some financial issues right now, so I can get back on my feet. I just want her to accept him, coz his parents want to get to know me a whole lot better.

[sourpuss]

Well, next time he is in town can the two of you offer to take her out to dinner or cook for her and stay in a maybe play some board games or something tame like that, so she can get to know him?

Age has nothing to do with weather or not he is violent. I would suggest you getting back on your feet as soon as possible so she can't control who you date.