[swill]

For about two years I do not have the feeling for sex and more with my husband and it not him I really still find him very sexy. I'm very moody and I have seen doctors but nothing. How do I get the feeling back in my life. I try to talk to my husband but then he thinks it is him and maybe some of it is his we don't go out anywhere together any more. I was thinking about seeing a sex theirapist but on insurents at this time. I really need help with this or I will lose my husband and i don't want that!!!!!! So if anyone can lead me to some kind of fix I would be greatful.

[sourpuss]

You'll lose your husband over this?!

Doesn't sound like a very understanding guy.

I could just be hormonal changes, and add that to the fact that you don't got out together anymore. And you've probably lost a lot of your sex drive. I've had this happen and it's frustrating. It's also hard to get back on track on your own. If you're going to go to a therapist, have your husband go with you, he's half of this equation.

[sourpuss]

I've been in this same situation and for the longest time I thought that there was something physically wrong with me. I blamed it on the pill, then blamed it on going off the pill, life changes, stress....etc etc.

I went to a therapist that specialized in sex therapy. We quickly discovered that it wasn't a hormonal thing and that I just didn't feel like the relationship was equal. I didn't feel appreciated or loved. I tend to shut down.

I'm wondering if swill is in a similar situation, since she said they don't go out anymore. I take this to mean that they have settled into a routine and life and he's no longer trying to impress her or make her feel special. If she's not feeling special, pretty or appreciated, she may not have the desire to have sex.

[mr.mansview]

I've been in this same situation and for the longest time I thought that there was something physically wrong with me. I blamed it on the pill, then blamed it on going off the pill, life changes, stress....etc etc.

I went to a therapist that specialized in sex therapy. We quickly discovered that it wasn't a hormonal thing and that I just didn't feel like the relationship was equal. I didn't feel appreciated or loved. I tend to shut down.

I'm wondering if swill is in a similar situation, since she said they don't go out anymore. I take this to mean that they have settled into a routine and life and he's no longer trying to impress her or make her feel special. If she's not feeling special, pretty or appreciated, she may not have the desire to have sex.

my thots exactly..perhaps "swill" needs to reserve a table at a restaurant and go see a movie..perhaps she needs to make the first move..

[sourpuss]

my thots exactly..perhaps "swill" needs to reserve a table at a restaurant and go see a movie..perhaps she needs to make the first move..

Agreed. Swill, make a date and get dolled up and go out with your hubby. Try to bring some of the romance back and see how it goes.

[Fallen1]

I take this to mean that they have settled into a routine and life and he's no longer trying to impress her or make her feel special. If she's not feeling special, pretty or appreciated, she may not have the desire to have sex.

I know first hand this kind of situation can have a negative affect on a sexual relationship. I went through this stage not to long ago. Didn't feel like he found me attractive anymore so I kind "shut down" and didn't want sex.

[rcoreyus]

I know first hand this kind of situation can have a negative affect on a sexual relationship. I went through this stage not to long ago. Didn't feel like he found me attractive anymore so I kind "shut down" and didn't want sex.

Probalby he thought your lack of interest in sex was a sign that you were no longer interested in him. Sex, affection, love are all tied together for a lot of people. By turning off his sexual interest in you (because you didn't want it) maybe he wound up turning off the others as well. Self - reinforcing problem.

[Fallen1]

Probalby he thought your lack of interest in sex was a sign that you were no longer interested in him. Sex, affection, love are all tied together for a lot of people. By turning off his sexual interest in you (because you didn't want it) maybe he wound up turning off the others as well. Self - reinforcing problem.

You are so correct. He and I have both discovered how much our actions affect each other. He said he didn't try because he thought I wasn't interested so he just left me alone. Him leaving me alone made me feel he wasn't interested. It was just a vicious cycle we were caught in.

[womanwantingmore]

You might try this.....

Don;t focus on worrying about your husband just yet. Buy a few erotic books, and a fun toy for you. See if you can get interested in sex again by yourself (fantasy is a beautiful thing), if yes, then start trying have fun with your hubby. If no, go the therapist route.