[jhpaisie]

I don't know if any of you have seen the movie "Hall Pass", but esentially it is about two couples that are feeling stagnated in thier relationships and the wives give there husbands a "hall pass". Basically a free pass for a week to go out and experience single life again, no questions asked. I feel that while the movie itself was bad, the idea is interesting. I love my husband very much, but I miss the thrill of a new attraction; that lusty feeling. I miss making out with a guy. I have tried to find this feeling again with my husband (we have been married for almost three years), but I think it is something you only feel when its new and unknown. I don't want my husband to feel like I dont want him or dont love him, but I want to experience that lusty feeling again. Maybe I am feeling this way becuase I did not have many relationships before I met my husband and I was a virgin until I met him. (We are both 25 by the way). I know I got married fairly young and I feel like I might have missed out on the fun being single aspect of my 20s. There are other men I am attracted too, some probably more than I should be. I don't want to be with them (relationship), I just want to kiss them or experience that lusty flirty feeling. Am I crazy for feeling this way?

[caster]

Flirting and being flirted with are great for ones self esteem, it's one of the paradoxes of marriage. It's what draws you together but once you get married a lot of that stops and we do miss it.
Personally, I think if you approach it like a "hall pass" it's going to hurt your husband and ultimately your marriage, that he's not enough for you. What if you really like the new guy that flirts you up, of course it's going to be exciting to make out with a new guy. Remember, your husband did the exact same thing to get you. Where does it end? The next guy, the next?

Are you crazy for feeling this way? Heck no, I think about it a lot, but even if my wife gave me a pass I wouldn't use it. If she asked for one I'd be hurt and wonder why she wouldn't put all that effort into our relationship instead of a new one.
Finding that lusty feeling again for a spouse of three years shouldn't be that hard, I can still find it for my spouse of 30 years. It's not the same and doesn't have the mystery of a new romance but it's just as if not more fulfilling in the end.

[Little]

Some people are okay with having an open marriage, some aren't. It's really about your relationship. Personally, in my marriage, it wouldn't be okay (not even a little bit.) I am a green eyed monster and would never get over it, and think my husband would be the same way. However, there are certainly marriages out there that are open or swinging relationships and they are successful and the spouses happy that way. Somebody had to bring it up sometime, since it's not in the scope of traditional marriage.

So, what do you think - is it okay for you and your husband? Or would letting that cat out of the bag ruin your dynamic?

[Pollon]

There is a reason that the divorce rate is highest (64%) for marriages in which the bride is/was under 25. It's not that women under 25 are bad people (or worse then the men).

It's just that young people aren't prepared for the serious business of marriage or to fully abandon the "fun" of the early twenties. You are a perfect example of that.

Don't ask for a "hallpass." If you want to stay married, take all the desire for flirty fun and channel it toward your husband. Take all those fantasies and direct them toward your husband--you don't have to tell him you are imagining someone else.

If that's not going to do it for you, then be honest with him and let him decide if he wants to stay married to you.

Good luck

[anonimousey]

These movies are so stupid and damaging.

Let's take a look at the women in this film: yep, all gorgeous and glamorous. These characters (CHARACTERS) all have the self esteem to let their men run wild fully knowing that they are the more attractive counterpart.

You're not asking for a hall pass, you're asking for permission to cheat. How would you honestly feel if the tables were turned?

Hey, i'm with you. I've been with my boyfriend for three years, he's my first serious boyfriend, I've never kissed another man, he was my first kiss at 17. I too wonder what it would be like to kiss someone else, to feel their hands on me, but I realise that it wouldn't get anywhere. I never had people lusting after me before I got into my relationship, at the time, all my friends were making out/losing their virginities/flirting like crazy, with everyone that came along (literally in some cases). You know what else they did? They made mistakes, got humiliated, got 'ill', etc, etc. It's just not worth it.

Find some spice in your relationship. If you can't find any, whack some in. I watched an episode of a british sitcom where this married couple (3 kids, 1 grandkid), pretended to be strangers, went to a hotel and chatted each other up. It was a disaster, they ended up in a strangers room, and realised that they're not young, free and single anymore, they're in a committed, loving relationship, and they're not always going to be hot for each other like when they were young.

You and your husband have something going, all these weird little quirks, jokes, and familiarities are what's important. You don't need to jump on each other all the time, the intimacy you have is special.

We can't stop you from doing what you want, but think about the risks involved here. If you do chance it with this guy, you'll

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Here are my thoughts.

You state, that you miss the lusty feeling... You've been married for 3 years, you want the unknown, you did not have "many" but you had relations before.. I suspect they were alway lustful and then you were a virgin until you married.

I still lust... just for the moment and then I look at what I have and I smile, I am a flirt, I have had so many opportunities fortunately in life where men are concerned but at the end of the day, they just want one thing.

When you realise that well that's it... You know? Just fun, use, do .... thanks.

Then you have someone who doesn't want that? He wants, you.

You then work out something new. It's called ok I am missing something I can get it from my man, my man, I just have to share what it is I want, I have someone special.

And, then you talk, communicate and work at what you both want and create that lust.

What I am saying is, your marriage turns into friendship IF you let it happen and you two have let it happen or he's doing his thing and doesn't know what you want which means he doesn't know your body

Both of you look at this and remember, this is someone you both married because you both felt something lust still belongs you both need to work it.

[taj]

These movies are so stupid and damaging.

Let's take a look at the women in this film: yep, all gorgeous and glamorous. These characters (CHARACTERS) all have the self esteem to let their men run wild fully knowing that they are the more attractive counterpart.

You're not asking for a hall pass, you're asking for permission to cheat. How would you honestly feel if the tables were turned?

Hey, i'm with you. I've been with my boyfriend for three years, he's my first serious boyfriend, I've never kissed another man, he was my first kiss at 17. I too wonder what it would be like to kiss someone else, to feel their hands on me, but I realise that it wouldn't get anywhere. I never had people lusting after me before I got into my relationship, at the time, all my friends were making out/losing their virginities/flirting like crazy, with everyone that came along (literally in some cases). You know what else they did? They made mistakes, got humiliated, got 'ill', etc, etc. It's just not worth it.

Find some spice in your relationship. If you can't find any, whack some in. I watched an episode of a british sitcom where this married couple (3 kids, 1 grandkid), pretended to be strangers, went to a hotel and chatted each other up. It was a disaster, they ended up in a strangers room, and realised that they're not young, free and single anymore, they're in a committed, loving relationship, and they're not always going to be hot for each other like when they were young.

You and your husband have something going, all these weird little quirks, jokes, and familiarities are what's important. You don't need to jump on each other all the time, the intimacy you have is special.

We can't stop you from doing what you want, but think about the risks involved here. If you do chance it with this guy, you'll

What you said is very interesting.. I ended a good relationship with a great person, with the person who was my first kiss, love, and the person I lost my virginity too. I kept telling myself it was because I did not want to leave India. It was probably because I wanted to feel what is was like to kiss, touch another person. It was not worth it, my immaturity got me into a bad marriage, and and made my life complicated... I am now involved with my first love, but beyond being a purely sexual relationship, it won't go further than that. I really wish it would and could...

[kira]

I think it's just something you have to give up when you get married. I've felt the same way on occasion. I'm 29 and married for 4 years in a couple months. After a bad 4 year relationship I had planned to just mess around meeting people and having fun. Then I happened to meet my husband right at the start of my plans. Part of promising to be with the same person for the rest of your life is giving up the thrill of meeting new people. There are a few people like my sister who can't do it. She cancelled her 2 year in planning wedding 3 months before it was to happen because she just can't settle down. She can't live without the excitement of dating.

[taj]

I think it's just something you have to give up when you get married. I've felt the same way on occasion. I'm 29 and married for 4 years in a couple months. After a bad 4 year relationship I had planned to just mess around meeting people and having fun. Then I happened to meet my husband right at the start of my plans. Part of promising to be with the same person for the rest of your life is giving up the thrill of meeting new people. There are a few people like my sister who can't do it. She cancelled her 2 year in planning wedding 3 months before it was to happen because she just can't settle down. She can't live without the excitement of dating.

That's true. In my case, I can honestly say I never thought about my past. I gave 100% and more to my current relationship, which was my 2nd relationship. Even then it did not work out... My soon to be ex-husband was more interested in Internet, tv, etc... The only time the other man came into the picture was after the separation and when my relationship was re-started with my current guy...