[jns]

Actually, I think that some people do a series of experiments to figure out if they have any attraction to others. Others simply accept what they have been taught or what they feel.

[antsinmypants26]

I was in a homosexual relationship off and on for about three years. The woman thought that I was the one for her, and I suppose at one point I thought it was right also. I knew after about a year though that I wanted a man. I craved the opposite sex while we were intimate, and things were never really completely satisfying. It was scary, but eventually I ended up leaving and cut all ties with her despite the way she felt. I am now in a happy heterosexual relationship with a man I intend to marry, (no doubts whatsoever anymore) I believe that curiosity and comfort played a role in why I stayed so long, but I fully pledge the fact that I am heterosexual and in no way have any of the emotions towards a woman whatsoever that I do with my current boyfriend. Like someone stated above, gender is fluid, so is sexuality, and at different points in your life certain people will look appealing that might not later in life. I'm just sorry I wasted so much time trying to convince myself I felt a certain way, when I was covering my true feelings to save someones emotions. Either way do what is right for you regardless of what anyone thinks. Life is short.

[Stillness]

I was in a homosexual relationship off and on for about three years. The woman thought that I was the one for her, and I suppose at one point I thought it was right also. I knew after about a year though that I wanted a man.

Very interesting. Thanks for sharing this. I'm curious as to how you identified at the start of your relationship with the woman. Lebian? Bisexual? Were you attracted to men and women equally or one more than the other? Was this woman just particularly attractive? What changed?

[rcoreyus]

No need to pledge yourself to anything except to be honest with your partner.

[antsinmypants26]

Very interesting. Thanks for sharing this. I'm curious as to how you identified at the start of your relationship with the woman. Lebian? Bisexual? Were you attracted to men and women equally or one more than the other? Was this woman just particularly attractive? What changed?

I like these questions. Throughout high school I identified as bisexual (but never actually had any contact with a woman). I'd crush on boys, kiss them, but still had some odd curiosity when it came to women. I think a lot of this had to do with early childhood when two of my friends and I would kiss and such in first grade. When I went to college I still had a tendency to only allow myself to be physical with men although I still found women really attractive. When my father died my sophomore year of college I met my ex. She was consistently there, and had some troubles of her own that drew me towards her. She identified as a bisexual also but I didn't know this until after I already had feelings. Something about her being there consistently was unlike anything I'd had in the past. She was definitely attractive, in both my eyes and others but eventually her anger and personality characteristics completely turned me off from her. I lost all sexual interest within the first year, lost most of the attraction period, but felt good about the fact that she wanted me so deeply. I ended up leaving for a few months and during that break I was strictly with men. That is when I knew that all of that had been a mix up of emotions and curiosity and my body truly desired to be with a man, and I still feel this way to the day. I could never be with another female sexually, emotionally, or any other way. The connection I've found with my boyfriend is one that I could have never imagined would be possible. I guess it just takes experience, an open mind, and a lot of introspection to figure these things out. Nothing is black and white in my opinion.

[anonimousey]

Wow guys, thanks for continuing to post on the thread; it's been interesting to read your posts.

My mind is flickering constantly, i'll think i'm asexual, then bi, then a lesbian, and back to straight.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with another woman and it was great. Our 'downstairs' were identical and I was giving her oral sex the way I would want it, touching her the way i'd like to be touched and saying things i'd like to hear; I think the dream was basically about me being pleasured by someone who knows what I want (me).

Myself and my boyfriend have discussed me going to see a sex therapist - the money is an issue here. Are there any good self help booka out there on this subject? My views on male-female sex are victorian due to my upbringing

[jns]

Have you instructed your bf on the way you want oral? Has he been able to give you what you want?

[anonimousey]

We don't really do anything sexual much. We're both pretty shy and awkward I suppose (yes, even after all these years). I'm always so nervous and self conscious that I just don't enjoy it, or I feel dirty or something. It's something we're working on