[Sugar princess]

Hey need advice

The guy I call my best friend is hurting me we met online and started dating 10 months ago to cut a long story short we stopped dating because he didn't want a relationship and still in love with his ex girlfriend who he had not stopped sleeping with we decided to be friends which was going really good until we starting sleeping together again we spent most week day nights staying at each others apartments going for dinner met all the family and friends but I figured out when I wasn't available he was with the ex and many other girls in between in jan this year I found out I was pregnant to him and he pressured me into an abortion was the hardest thing I've been through he was so great first week very supportive and looked after me but a few days before abortion he went distance the night before abortion he told me he love his ex and they getting back together would take me to clinic help me then go our separate ways so the day of abortion he ditched me after procedure and I recovered alone in shock two weeks later he's back saying how sorry he was and I forgave him, over last few months we have formed a great friendship but again the ex was back and he cut me few weeks ago because of her but again it didn't work out and he came running back he says I'm his best friend I do so much for him take him to work massages cook clean he does little for me has heaps of girls around but as soon as I show interest in a male he gets jealous I am him love with him but tonight he calls me to pick him up from a party I said ok then he didn't tell me the address I call few times hour later he answers after I call from other number and I hear girls in back ground calling me names then he hangs up I don't get why he tells everyone I'm his best friend when he treats me like this after everything we been through why I still care and jump when he asks, someone tell me how to make him see he's hurting me as every time I go no contact he comes back even stronger and I think tonight is final straw

[pluck77]

This is heartbreaking but it seems you have very low self esteem and do not really feel any value for yourself. You go back to this guy over and over again feeling that he will validate your worth as a woman, but then he throws you off like you are nothing. You feel lost and don't know what to do, so you do whatever you can to get back in his good graces.

You continually try and reach out to him because when things are good and you two are together you feel cared about, understood and respected. Yet the minute he realizes this he throws you off knowing that you will be back in no time. You want this man to be devoted to you, but from his own actions, you see that he is worthless. This man's word has no meaning. You want to bond with this man so badly that you are willing to put yourself through anything to try and win his love.

Protect your heart and emotions. They are invaluable and only you have control over them. Don't let someone else, especially a worthless man, break your heart time and time again and play your feelings and emotions like a yo-yo just to compensate for his own insecurities.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Sugar...

I am so sorry that you had to go through all of that, the abortion on your own.

But, this guy, is using you.. He knows that you will jump for him, take him back, allow him to be with his ex, other women, take him back, jump for him, massage him, cook for him, sleep with him, jump for him, take him back, allow him to go back to his ex, sleep with others.

I think more so, being pregnant to someone seals something that is hard to break.

But, the fact that he told you that he was going back to his ex, and dumping you there, does that not show red flags to you?

Off course you are hurting now stop hurting yourself. By that I mean, stop allowing him to continue to hurt you.. Walk away. There is nothing I can tell you that you can try with him, that will change a thing.

He controls you and he knows it.

[Sugar princess]

Guess I need to stand on my own two feet and start ignoring him as hard as it may be put myself out there start dating I'm very lonely my friends all have boyfriends and my family not close by guess that's why I cling to him I'm miserable needy depressed and desperate and don't know how to break the cycle

[KMonte85]

I understand being lonely and depressed, Sugar, but you have to see that being "friends" with this man is not doing you any good. I think you need to make a game plan to meet more people who share your interests. Have you talked to your friends and let them know you feel a little neglected now that they're in relationships? (be careful with this though, you don't want to come off as really critical and clingy... word it more along the lines of you miss them!)

What do you like to do besides play on the internet? Could you join any clubs or hobby-groups around, so that you can meet people with shared interests? Get out and experience the world. You'll make new friends and never have to think about that dirt-bag again, if you just put yourself in a position where you can meet like-minded people!

[Sugar princess]

i really dont know ive really lost myself i push myself out of bed every morning to go to work im in debt so trying to find things to do for free like walking reading singing and playing guitar everytime i break away from him he comes back full force i know i have to be strong and keep up the No Contact when he contacts me i often find my self looking at him thinking what is so great about him need to remember all the horrible things he has put me through hes detroyed the bubbly happy girl i was before i met him