[Jeni87]

Okay so I posted something a few months ago and someone reply

" Is sex some sort of reward women give men for making them happy or doing something positive."

Now I want to know what other women's opinion is about that?

why do women think is okay to sleep with a man who treats you like crap? What is the reason? I can't think of nothing not even amazing sex that justifies why any woman with self esteem, respect and high standards would sleep with a man who does not treat them good or makes them happy. There for I believe giving sex to someone is a reward for something good.

[Stillness]

I can't think of nothing not even amazing sex that justifies why any woman with self esteem, respect and high standards would sleep with a man who does not treat them good or makes them happy. There for I believe giving sex to someone is a reward for something good.

It seems, to me, like your question rules out some of the main reasons that people would have sex with someone that treats them poorly. Maybe they don't have high standards and self-esteem. Or maybe their standards are different from yours. Like maybe there are cultural views that men are tyrannical, so it's expected. They could also have a strong desire for sex. How often do you read some of the threads that people post here? Some people would take whatever they could get from emotionally and physically abusive mates for those very reasons.

There's also sense of duty, fear of loss of support, love, and desire for children to name a few. I can't imagine being in a relationship where I was treated like crap and staying in it, but under certain circumstances I might. And I would probably have sex simply because I want sex and maybe a sense of duty. I would never use it as a reward. I don't view sex as an exchange of services.

[Claret]

grr just lost an entire post....
Anyway, Stillness what you are saying here is perfectly in tune with Maslow's heirarchy of self-actualization which is a cornerstone of today's modern psychology. I've copied some paragraphs from Wikipedia that saves me some typing:
Stemming from this branch of psychology is Maslow's hierarchy of needs. According to Maslow, people have lower order needs that in general must be fulfilled before high order needs can be satisfied: 'five sets of needs - physiological, safety, belongingness, esteem, and self-actualization'.[19]

As a person moves up Maslow's hierarchy of needs, eventually they may find themselves reaching the summit — self-actualization.[9] Maslow's hierarchy of needs begins with the most basic necessities deemed "the physiological needs" in which the individual will seek out items like food and water, and must be able to perform basic functions such as breathing and sleeping.[20] Once these needs have been met, a person can move on to fulfilling "the safety needs", where they will attempt to obtain a sense of security, physical comforts and shelter, employment, and property.[20] The next level is "the belongingness and love needs", where people will strive for social acceptance, affiliations, a sense of belongingness and being welcome, sexual intimacy, and perhaps a family.[20] Next are "the esteem needs", where the individual will desire a sense of competence, recognition of achievement by peers, and respect from others.[20]

Some argue that once these needs are met, an individual is primed for self-actualization. Others maintain that there are two more phases an individual must progress through before self-actualization can take place. These include "the cognitive needs", where a person will desire knowledge and an understanding of the world around them, and "the aesthetic needs" which include a need for "symmetry, order, and beauty".[9] Once all these needs have been satisfied, the final stage of Maslow's hierarchy—self actualization—can take place."
The need for sex can be at the primitive level, or move up the scale according to the persons needs at the time. Once a basic need such as for food and water has been met, the person moves into a higher need of acceptance and belonging. A person can advance and/or regress according to how other of their needs are being met at any given time.
Quote here by Jeni87 "There for I believe giving sex to someone is a reward for something good." So the reward actually goes not to the other person Jeni87, but you actually are rewarding yourself.

[Element]

I've never viewed sex as a reward, or keeping it from someone as a punishment. I view sex as special, personal, it's a connection between two people. I don't think it should be used as a weapon.

In a relationship people are equal; so to treat someone like a child and "punish" them because they did something you didn't like so therefore you withhold love making seems disrespectful and unethical in my own opinion. Always treat others as you want to be treated. If you messed up and your man decided you no longer deserve to be able to make love to him until he thinks you "learned your lesson", you would be calling him sexist, chauvinistic and barbaric.

Find how you describe sex, love making, screwing, f-ing, and determine whether or not you wish to partake in each act. I told my man from day one I will not be "f-ed". Don't treat me like that, don't think of us like that. We have sex and we make love. That's how I choose to live my life. It's my decision for myself, my sex life, and my relationship. I don't look down upon others who do not believe as I do. I merely set a line and live by it. Every one chooses their own line and how they lead their lives.

[Pollon]

For some, sex is the physical manifestation of a deep emotional connection. For other, sex is just a physical need/desire.

I suspect everyone and every individual sexual act falls somewhere on a continuum between those two.

Someone in the first category couldn't imagine having sex without the emotional connection. However, like in the case of an abused woman, she might have sex to simulate/stimulate or encourage the emotional connection--sort of a chicken or the egg scenario.

Someone in the second category might use sex as a reward-punishment tool and/or simply to satify their own need. Sex would have little emotional content.