[johnnyask]

Here's my situation. I've liked this coworker for years now, I was in a long term relationship that had ended. Through out the years we worked together I had always had a crush on her, just could never express it untill now. She's 30 and I'm 24 btw.

I was pretty mean to her and gave her little or no respect but it was only because I liked her and knew I wouldn't be able to be with her, So i acted out, my fault!. So after a awhile of being single I told her why I was so mean to her and what not. I did mention I liked her but wasn't trying to push for a relationship, that and I just got out a 5 year one myself. I told her I didnt want to make things awkward at work by me expressing how I felt about her, she said that's ok that's just human nature I understand.

But I don't think she understands just how much I like her! To be Honest, shes the reason i left! I mean, i left because My relationship was verbally abusive, We had nothing in common but our child. All we did was work, pay bills, and fight. We always made sure our son had everything he needed, and outings with family and friends were always a blast. It was just US. she was also a older women It just didn't click per se. But i thought about the person who id had a crush on this whole time and started feeling for her in other ways i never thought i would.

Maybe it was just a way to get my mind off a relationship i no longer desired, even though we had a child, i lost interest! I was not happy, she was not happy. She came told me one night, she couldn't do it anymore. I asked her if this was what she wanted and she said yes. Next day she had a Parenting Plan and Child Support papers to sign. I thought of it as she was trying to bluff me and to get me to try and "change" like she always put it. I was done with her games so i signed it, moved out and now im the wallet.


So with now being alone, depressed and without my son im granted to see everyone other weekend and every other tuesday, I felt lonely and wanted someone to talk to. So i talked to her.

I might have expressed too much, but im not sure if i scared her away. I just took it slow.

So they next couple months I think we have moved closer than ever before, were comfortable around each other, she lets me touch her, she has touched me a few times on the arm. She lets me get into her personal space. On her breaks she comes to my desk and sits down, she will sit on my chair if im not there.

I tell her storys and i can see the dreamy eyes with a very real smile to go along with it, we text for hours each night rarely about work. We've gone to the bar a few times, ive even made out with her and mixed around the coins in her pot of gold, heh but she ain't letting me hit it? Am I stuck in the friend zone? How should I get out? Does she not want to do anything sexual because we work together in a small company that her mom runs, lol Maybe?
Then There's times I ask to do things and I don't hear from her, or she has an excuse. Im honestly not sure whether I should continue or not because I'm getting mixed signals. she's not gonna tell me and times I did ask she just called me a dork or silly? Hmm what to do.

[HisGirl]

It's either she thinks of you as a FWB (without the B) or because you've been mean to her in the past, you probably hurt her feelings before and she's being extra guarded and careful with you. It seems like she does like you and the attraction is there but she's trying to keep it cool. She's 30, so she should have the maturity to tell you directly whether she is serious about you. Making light of your question isn't very mature behavior. Tell her you want to move forward and ask her what's holding her back. But get a real answer this time.

[Pollon]

If I'm understanding your situation, you are a 24 year-old, never married father, out of a 5-year shack up relationship with an older woman who is depressed and can't handle being alone. You also expressed your inappropriate feelings by lashing out at her. And rather then expend your emotional energy on repairing your five year relationship with the mother of your child, you spent it stoking a potential relationship with another woman.

I know that's harsh, but it's what you said.

You didn't say much about her situation, but if she is a healthy woman, she would keep her distance and wait to see if you are "man" enough for her.

However, from your description, she is looking at you like a lost puppy (or teddy bear) that is too cute and sad to resist. If that's right, she might eventually be drawn in (read "extend Benefits") by your sweet, sad-eyed affection. But whether she will respect you as a serious potential partner will be based on your behavior.

What kind of relationship do you want?

If I were betting, I'd say your ex-wife complained that you were too passive, dependent on her and left all the family and relationship responsibilities to her.

I assume you had the same fight with your ex over and over. What did she complain about?

[HussyOrNot]

You have to put yourself out there. No risk, no reward.