[katzintheclouds]

Hey ladies.
I'm currently experiencing an unexpected disruption in my emotional health.

8 months ago I left a guy I had been with for 6 years of my life. We lived together, shared a life together but the relationship had been sour for a while & I left. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done but it was 100% necessary, which I keep reminding myself.

I'd been doing fairly well until the last two weeks when I found out he had started dating again. For some reason, it's thrown me into a huge depressive loop where I'm finding myself abruptly sad about everything all over again.

One of the biggest reasons for this is because she randomly has a child, which is a huge sore spot. I had wanted to advance to marriage & kids but he didn't. He wasn't ready for either commitment, ESPECIALLY with the onset of my desire for a family. He had basically told me that he had no idea if he even ever wanted kids.

Now that he's found this new girl, he's become some father figure to her child. Does everyone understand how hard that can be?

So now for the last few days, this accompanied by another series of personal unfortunate events, I find myself in some whirlwind of depression.

Has anyone experienced this?

[jns]

Unfortunately there is a lot of pressure from society to not have kids. They do cost a lot of money and time and do require commitment. So people like your ex end up ambivalent about kids. With that ambivalence he couldn't fulfill your dream of having children.

With his new gf, that decision has been taken out of his hands. He doesn't have ultimate responsibility for her child as he is not the child's true father, but he can play that role. Sometimes it is a situation like this that makes a person realize what they want.

I'm sorry he wasn't inclined to go further with you. I hope you find the man of your dreams soon.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think what you must realise is that to him, "he is not the Father". He can walk away whenever.. She is the reason he is there, not the child. And, honestly, she may mean nothing to him as well, just compatibility of all sorts... .


It's natural to feel down when your ex, picks up with someone else, regardless of the situation of that pick up.. You can not erase the good memories straight away if ever.

But, you too will find someone and move on with your life, with children. So remember why you left and what your future holds instead of going backwards with your thoughts.