[Obelisk]

Alright then. I knew I didn't want kids since I was 12.

I'm 34 now and have zero kids. So I decided to get the snip done. Now I have to figure out how to find a woman that is happy with that decision.

What would you gals recommend? It's not easy to ask a woman out when she's probably expecting that she will have a bunch of kids with me eventually.

How should I approach this?

[BabyGirl]

Be 100% Honest, but when the time is right . During Dating the Question will eventually come up if you date for some time and find yourselves Compatible.

If asked if you like or want Kids, say what you feel about kids, ( your words if you like them or not ). Kids are Great .. I have Niece/ Nephew ( fill in Blank ) that I love and Adore.

" Myself, I cannot have any Kids, but may be open to Adoption or someone that already has Kids " Use this only if True.

Unless asked, you do not have to tell that you chose the Snip Snip. If you are close enough/ Serious enough with her and she does ask.
Simply explain you didn't think you would ever find someone to want to have children with, so you made sure that you could ever " Accidentally " have a Child.
You can also reiterate that Adoption is an Option. when you find someone that is Compatible and how many Children need loving Parents .

However If you do not want Kids in your Life ( as you being a Father / Step father/ Adopted Father ). It's best you put that out soon in the Relationship .
You can say you are very Interested in a " TINK " relationship. = Two Incomes No Kids .

[Element]

When going into a relationship; remember what you just stated. You two may click, but not having kids may be something she just can't live with.

When a relationship gets serious; it's a talk that couples have; do you want kids? How many? How soon do you want to have them? BUT, there are references and small conversations throughout the relationship that let you know if the person is "pro or con" children.

I do not suggest stating this on a first date, but get to know the woman. With time, you'll get the feel for her. Bring it up lightly about someone else's child; a co-worker, a niece, someone in the grocery store; and state why it is you don't want children. Don't be harsh, but be deeply honest of your feelings, your thoughts on the matter. Then you'll know who it is that you are dating, and if they're willing to never have children so that they can be with you forever.

[Obelisk]

Thanks for the reply Element.

I'm willing to live the rest of my life single, that's how strong I feel about it. I'm hopeful that there will be a woman who can accept it.

What I am going to hate is going thru the motions of meeting women, getting to know each other, developing feelings for each other, and then boom, the torpedo falls.

I'm thinking of just bringing it out let's say, the second or third dates (Dates should be the time to learn stuff like this about each other)

But hey, I'm a guy and you gals are the women! lol so I'm willing to listen to suggestions

[lissy73]

Not every woman wants kids, just as not every man wants kids.

I kind of did want kids when I was younger, but the older I got the less I wanted them. I'm now in my early forties and met my partner mid thirties. We had the discussion early on when we met (he already had kids from a previous marriage), and I pretty much was straight up at the very beginning.

As time has gone on we have re-adressed it quite a bit, but we still have decided we like our life so much better without the complications children bring. Having so much freedom, being able to travel etc.

You don't have to live your life single forever because of this decision, just be straight up and honest from the beginning and you'll meet the right person who has the same ideals as you.

I have never regretted the decision not to have kids - I love my life just the way it is

[Pollon]

As I guy, I think you have the right idea to get your clear position about kids out on the table within the first few dates and BEFORE she develops a strong attachment to you and BEFORE you take her to bed.

Once she has full information, she is responsible for her decision to continue the relationship or end it.

[Obelisk]

I think a lot of things in my life have made me pretty bitter, and realized how crappy life can be, and would never wish that on a child.

But women are so wired to want children that it's frustrating to have to fight against such a strong current to find someone. I'm almost ready to give up that fight.

[Element]

You can try a dating site. I've known plenty of couples that have used them and things are well for them; one of them just got married a few weeks ago. I'm not entirely sure on the questionnaire on the site, but children might be one of them. You can also put the information in your profile, so that should help you to find women who want what you do.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I respect your decision, I made the same one.

Though I could have had a child at 37 when I married, it still wasn't within me.

I love kids, love my nieces and nephews and was happy to spoil them rotten and watch them grow. But, ultimately, I felt that I would not be there for a child as much as a Mother should be, I've always been a work-a-holic and that's always been my baby, coupled with all the animals I've had and have in my life...

It's a choice for what ever reason and yes, in a way my up-bringing and thoughts of if I would follow suit also played a big decision in that choice.

So my advice would be, date business women who love their careers.

Women who want to travel the world.

And, women who love kids but like to give them back

Don't dis-regard that you may fall for a woman who already has a little one, because it happens... Don't be totally closed minded, I have a step-daughter now but she was 11 when I entered her life, she is not going on 16 and I quite like being that Mum... Also adopted kids around the world that I will always be grateful that the call me Mum and see me as that second Mum when in need.

[Obelisk]

Hmm, I'm not a fan of dating sites.

But maybe I'll try one eventually.

And I wouldn't be against adopting, but most women I think would want a child that is their own, and I can understand that. And even if we were both willing to do it, it seems that the adoption process is ridiculously hard, to the point of being absurd.

So basically, to bring another poor human soul into this world costs you nothing, but trying to save one that someone else didn't want/couldn't keep is ridiculously hard.

Some system.