[burnzraiser]

We have been in a serious relationship for more than 2 years and my eating habits are pretty different. I eat pretty healthy with Very few exceptions work out 6 times a week and keep active while my gf would eat fried foods, Fast food, Everything processrd no vegetables, etc and jus sit watching tv about 6-8 hours a day after work. She us also considered obese. I tried telling her that i am worried about her cause she always gets sick, her back and feet always hurt, etc. i told her that i want her to eat healthier cause i care about her and she is not getting the nutrients she needs, but she just says that i jus care about looks and how much she weighs, but i tell her i dont want her to go on a diet, i want her to change her diet and to not starve herself, but it always ends up her crying about it. Help plz, i want to be with her i n long term, but i dont want to be with someone that would only live to be 40 or with an excessive amount of health Problems.

[Element]

It has to be her choice. She has to be willing to openly tell you the truth as to of why she lives her life as she does. Ways of living and habits are not easily changed. They will always there to fall back on, as they are a part of you.

I admire your worry for your girlfriend's health and that you would like to assist her in living differently, but she has to want to change herself first and foremost. And if she chooses to remain living her life as she does, you have to find out if you are willing to marry and be with an overweight woman forever.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I tend to think that there is a reason why people eat themselves to a weight problem, depression, anxiety, past.

What is it that you think that she is un-happy about with her life? If you can pin point that, you can change your tactics to work on helping that change, which in turn may make her feel more stable, happy and not have the need to eat all junk food and become a couch potato.

Does she dislike her job, is she even put down, bullied at her job.. Was it her childhood.

We can't save people and we can only try to help and yes, that is correct she has to want to change but there usually is an underlying factor.

[burnzraiser]

When she says that i just care about her Losing weight, i tell her i dont care if you work out or not, i care about what you eat. She said she started to gain weight after her grandparents died when she was 16 and she is now 23, so i know that is one reason why she got bigger, cause she took it really hard because she was closer with them then her parents. The stress and depression from that was part of it, but she still did not eat healthy then because she was young(i knew other people like this and i too ate not so good during school), but that traumatic experience was what caused her to just sit and do nothing

[CHANDLERS WISH]

It's hard losing someone that you love and trust with your whole being, whom also is more of a parent/s to you.

She has to release that love onto someone else, ie) you.. Do you tell her you love her? I am sure you do but I am wondering if you can really show her love and tell her it's OK and it's time she moved forward with her love... Sometimes words help enormously.

If may be that she really needs a grief counsellor.

What is her passions? Maybe locating her best passion and guiding her towards doing more of it?

Behind every good person is the other half.

[burnzraiser]

Whenever she gets sad about it i comfort her as much as possible, as for a counselor, she does not have enough money to do that. As for passions, she really does not have any, she was going to college, but dropped out to work. On her spare time she just wants to watch tv, She does not have any hobbies, or interested in anything. The only thing she actually likes to do is go to theme parks like disneyland or six flags, but other than that, there is really nothing.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Mmmm.

Do you have photo albums? We have to find this girl something that makes her over the moon (apart from you) and happy to get out of the house and to live life.

If you go to work come home, go to work come home, that's your life.. Comfort is found in food. Death can off course add to it but I'm thinking finding something she's passionate about.

Volunteering for some good cause that would make her feel good? That you can join ask her too??

[Olympia]

She needs to want to be healthy. And as CW pointed out thing/s have happened in her life that made food a comfort tool. It is a vicious cycle, and gains momentum. My older son has been offering aid to his girlfriend with these bad habits. She had bloodwork completed, (lipids) also blood pressure and BMI. Her family has a history of diabetics, heart attacks, bad cholesterol issues as well. So she received the repot and reviewed it with the doctor. It does help place things in perspective. She participates in activites cuts down on sweets/junk food and has seen a difference. My son has reminded her, but made her feel good about herself daily. She is taking control, and it shows. I do not know if this helps, but thought to share..

[burnzraiser]

She told me that her grandma had high blood pressure and her great aunt has diabetes, so when I mentioned to her that could be a possibility cause of the way she eats, that I was was worried about her, she automatically goes back to how i just care about her weight.
One time when she was at the doctors after passing out from the heat

[burnzraiser]

One time when she was at the doctors after passing out from the heat, i tried to get the doctor to say something to her about her health, like what is causing her back aches, he just avoided the question. I have tried multiple times to get her out of her apartment, I try to get her to go hiking with me, walking around the mall, down the strip where we live, something, but she never wants to because she is either in pain or she says that sounds like it is no fun or torture.
I have also tried to get her to eat better things, like switching out white bread for a multi grain one, vegetables, better cereal, etc. But she always says she does not like that kind of bread or different cereal.