I tried that in the past. Tried excusing myself to the restroom and encouraging others to discuss and even make a decision in my absence, and other tactics. I used to think it is as someone above suggests, that people won't make a choice if they know you will do it (or something to that effect).
The conclusion I've come to, at least in my circle of friends and workmates, is that the tendency to be "passive" and relieve themselves of responsibility and accountability is ingrained in them and a component of their personality as much as anything else. They're passive with their kids, unassertive in work matters that have nothing to do with another person, with their money...
I have actually become less so as I've aged. I have mellowed so much so, that I will completely walk away from something if others won't pull their weight. Not in an antagonistic way, but simply saying, "well if y'all don't care, I don't care either", and leave it at that. I feel completely comfortable now that I'm able to do that. My friends seem content, and I don't feel like I'm sometimes driving a truck with the rear wheels stuck in park.
Granted, it sucks that we do a lot less together but it's forcing me to branch out and find more friends.
Getting back to your original post: I was thinking about my sex life and how assertive I was in that aspect. I was often the same, but not to the same degree. Again, it is difficult to drive the vehicle without the "drive shaft" turning. Lol. My husband was vanilla with me, rarely was he interested in anything I suggested or offer any ideas of his own. Early on it was more interesting.
I don't know...I've definitely softened around the edges as I've aged. I was always an agreeable girl, never really argued if someone else offered a different idea, but it's been years since I had a group of peers that did so.
Funny how we change but stay the same.
The conclusion I've come to, at least in my circle of friends and workmates, is that the tendency to be "passive" and relieve themselves of responsibility and accountability is ingrained in them and a component of their personality as much as anything else. They're passive with their kids, unassertive in work matters that have nothing to do with another person, with their money...
I have actually become less so as I've aged. I have mellowed so much so, that I will completely walk away from something if others won't pull their weight. Not in an antagonistic way, but simply saying, "well if y'all don't care, I don't care either", and leave it at that. I feel completely comfortable now that I'm able to do that. My friends seem content, and I don't feel like I'm sometimes driving a truck with the rear wheels stuck in park.
Granted, it sucks that we do a lot less together but it's forcing me to branch out and find more friends.
Getting back to your original post: I was thinking about my sex life and how assertive I was in that aspect. I was often the same, but not to the same degree. Again, it is difficult to drive the vehicle without the "drive shaft" turning. Lol. My husband was vanilla with me, rarely was he interested in anything I suggested or offer any ideas of his own. Early on it was more interesting.
I don't know...I've definitely softened around the edges as I've aged. I was always an agreeable girl, never really argued if someone else offered a different idea, but it's been years since I had a group of peers that did so.
Funny how we change but stay the same.
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