[jen1447]

I had a fight with the boyfriend last night over some nonsensical thing. I was venting about some mild frustration at work and he was trying to 'man up' and provide the solution (old story I know), and when I told him that I don't need him to solve problems for me (can handle that myself, thank you ) and that venting was just helping me process, he got all sulky. I then admittedly made a mistake and told him he was cute when he gets that way, which just made him sulkier.

I was a little tactless I guess, but it's actually true, I find him cute and kind of sexy when he gets emotional.

Two questions -

Does emotion (specifically kind of an unexpected or surprise emotion) in your partner turn you on? I have a feeling this might be related to the whole anger sex thing, although I was not angry myself. It was almost moreso charming like he was inadvertently making himself vulnerable (or something, I'm not real clear what it could be).

The other is, I usually take care of little tantrums or moodiness just by ...being who I am I suppose (let him be alone for a while and then boost him up when he's ready to come back out of his shell), but what do you others here suggest? Should I play the damsel in distress and make him think he saved me to boost his ego? I doubt he'd buy that, and I don't like being misleading, but I'd be willing to try. Or maybe admit to being wrong? I already told him I was sorry for being dismissive, but he still needs time to recoup. But should I maybe fall flat and beg his forgiveness or something like that? That's not really um my style either lol, just sort of brainstorming here.

Any other suggestions are welcome. Thanks girls. (And guys.)

[rcoreyus]

People (including myself) are strange. When I have a problem at work I like to vent - and I'm not looking for a solution, just sympathy. When my wife has a problem at work and vents, I start trying to find a solution - when usually what she also wants is just sympathy. I think its an unfortunate effect that when someone you care about is unhappy you WANT to make it better somehow. I think that all people can do is try to remember both sides of this problem.

I don't think unhappy emotions in someone I care about are cute - the cause me to want to fix things - some of which can't be fixed. Happy of course is always good.

For me (maybe not anyone else) a surefire way to make me stop being unhappy would be for my wife to offer some immediate intimacy of the "here is something to take your mind off of problems" sort of approach. I really like sex, but this might not work well on someone who doesn't, or who always gets all that they want.

"I'm sorry I was wrong, can I make it up to you by being your sex slave for the next few hours" would work for me

[jen1447]

Hahaha, that could be arranged. (I'd just have to clamp down hard on my natural inclination to assert myself. )

I just sent him an interesting picture via text btw....that tends to loosen him up.

[Stillness]

My wife and I are both pretty even-tempered. That's part of the reason we get along. She internalizes a lot in my opinion, and I have to work to get her to open up. So when she does show excitement I do find it attractive. Anger is unattractive, but other expressions might be.

Like I asked her to pick a movie last night randomly. The one she chose was one she had been wanting to watch and when she saw it is uncharacteristically shouted, "Yes!" I liked that. I have to admit that jealousy from her can be sorta cool, if it's not too crazy.