[Emmalucywalker]

i started uni in September. i met this guy called sam and we got on really well! i started to develop feelings for him (at this time he was chasing someone else mainly for sex for about a week)

in November i found out he liked me too, but he was too worried to make a move in case i didn't feel the same (and according to a mutual friend he liked me from the beginning but chased the other girl as it was the easier option)

we started to see each other, however when our friends started to find out they tried to get involved and tell each of us stuff and make things really awkward. we only lasted a week because we talked and i didn't like how everyone was getting involved, it was making it awkward between us and we would lose our friendship, i told him i did like him. we both agreed we weren't ready for a relationship and both had family issues at the time so we went back to being friends.

a few days later we went out with our friends on a night out, it was fine, it was still a bit awkward but we talked normally. that night i found out from my friend (the one he chased to begin with) that he tried to sleep with her the other night, because they were both on it in the same bed but she said nothing happened. i was a bit hurt by this as even though we were just friends i felt used and hurt.

i stupidly text him that night (i was drunk, it is no excuse but if i was sober i wouldn't have!!!)
i accused him of it and told him how it made me feel, i can say this made it all worse!
the next day i felt really bad for saying that, so i text him telling him i was sorry, i shouldn't have said it and that i won't text him again (because i had texted a lot)

again, it was awkward for a few days, but on Friday last week, we all went out for the last night before our three week Christmas break!

we talked a bit in the queue, i paid for his entry and he said he would buy me some drinks inside, when we got in i was talking to this other guy in our group and he brought me a few drinks and we danced a bit and he told me that sam didn't like him that much, because sam obviously likes me and sees him as a threat?.

sam and i started to talk a lot more, like we used to, he brought me my drinks and then we danced, he acted like he did when we both didn't know we liked each other, so flirty and really touchy, like he would hold my waist and my hands and my shoulders etc. we got left on our own for a while and we danced and he kept touching my face, then he kissed me.

later on that night he kept talking to me and holding my hand and he kissed me a few more times. on the way back we were just like we used to be, flirty, having fun, laughing, he shared my cardigan too. he kept telling me how 'the other guy wanted to get with you, hahha, i could tell you didn't want to, unless you like him?'.

that night we all ordered pizza in my kitchen and i sat with my feet on his lap and he kept tickling me and then when he left he hugged me for waaaaay longer than a friendly hug. but he still doesn't text me, he hasn't since we 'split'

i am really confused where i stand,why did he kiss me? do you think he still likes me? if he does will he get over it in the three weeks? my gut feeling is we will be the same in January when we go back, i just don't know what to do, do i text him even though i said i wouldn't or do i move on and just take the line, what will be will be?

advice would be fab!!! thankks xx

[jns]

It doesn't sound like either one of you is ready for a committed relationship as both of you are still testing the water. He may be considering whether he wants to give up his previous life for a more committed one. It sounds like you are willing to try a more committed relationship, but that would mean not dancing with a guy that sam feels threatened by.

I would say to text him when you both are back at uni if he doesn't get in touch with you. It will take a while for both of you to really commit, if that is what you want. A new term should be sufficient time.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

It sounds to me that the guy was right. Sam doesn't like him, sees him as a threat and because of that, he was defending himself, by flirting and kissing you, the other guy couldn't get near you.

I'd say he's a bit of a playboy at present and isn't ready for a relationship but any girl he has been with in any form, he will make sure no one else does.

Sorry, that's how I see it.