[sweetie27]

I am absolutely in love with a guy I work with. He is 46 and I am 27. I don't care so much about the age but I am worried about the work/love relationship. Is this a bad idea as I have heard so many times or will it work if we keep it professional when necessary?

[Mourningman]

Does he know or is it a secret only for you

[sweetie27]

Oh.... he knows. We have been dating for 6 months. We try to keep it professional but end up making out on our breaks and when it is just us in the store it can get pretty steamy. I only see him at work as he lives 20 miles opposite from the store and I am the same distance in the other direction. He is finishing up with a divorce, (which I had nothing to do with) and says he wants to start a serious relationship once it is all said and done with. I am interested but hesitant. I have discussed with him how I feel about him just getting out of a relationship but don't feel like I am being used. HELP!!

[Fallen1]

........I only see him at work as he lives 20 miles opposite from the store and I am the same distance in the other direction. He is finishing up with a divorce, (which I had nothing to do with) and says he wants to start a serious relationship once it is all said and done with. .........

Oh that threw up a flag for me. I hate to be negative but are you absolutely sure he is in the process of a divorce or could he just be telling you this to get what he wants from you?

[C]

Oh that threw up a flag for me. I hate to be negative but are you absolutely sure he is in the process of a divorce or could he just be telling you this?

Are there children involved in the divorce? An ex-wife can be very demanding. He is 46 and you are so young at 27. When you are 47 that will make him 65. These are things that are not important now as all you are thinking about is the love and passion involved between two people stealing pleasures which really neither of you have a right to as he is still married.

Be careful that you don't get hurt. Life can be cruel. Forbidden love of a married man cannot be made right if it is wrong. Even if he is free, what is there for you.....

[alibaby]

Make sure you know him well. 20 miles is far enough away for you to not see what might be lurking in his closet...i.e. wife, kids, split personality, etc.

[sweetie27]

I really need this. Yes I know him very well. I know for sure he is going through a divorce and he is not living at home. I have a hard time seeing into the future with him. Most guys I have been with I am able to picture that happily ever after. I don't know if I just know in my gut that it won't work or if I am being pessamistic. I guess it is right in front of me but it is so hard because being a woman I tend to let my heart do the talking...

[C]

I really need this. Yes I know him very well. I know for sure he is going through a divorce and he is not living at home. I have a hard time seeing into the future with him. Most guys I have been with I am able to picture that happily ever after. I don't know if I just know in my gut that it won't work or if I am being pessamistic. I guess it is right in front of me but it is so hard because being a woman I tend to let my heart do the talking...

Honey, being a woman we are in love with love. The romance and the handsome man and the stolen kisses and the passion is what we are all about. The hunger of two lovers wanting each other adds to this but here is where you must use caution. Don't hurt yourself worse than you are already. If you can see into that future where things are not in place and that something is bothering you that you keep pushing out of your mind, then pull it forward and talk to someone about it. What you are doing here is a good start as everyone is here to help but we cannot help you with your heart when it aches for him. I, as a woman, would rather see you hurt here and now at this age rather than along the line. The age thing is big. Real big. Your romantic lover will not be that romantic of a lover then. You will be very sexual at that age. Just think it over.

I know for a fact that as a woman ages she get very sexual. Many women do not realize this but I hear it right and left. I certainly do wear those shoes and I love them...My husband and I have only an age difference of one year. That is far different than 19.....Please understand these are just my thoughts and I am sure that many on the Forum will disagree with me and I understand this and welcome it....

Added on 12/4 Unfortunately, I do not think in your present but in your future. The things that I hear from women when all the bigger problems are there now. Think wisely and not with your heart and take it slow....

[alibaby]

No one here is meaning to offend you, these are just opinions.

Have you spoken to him about his divorce and the reasons behind it? Sounds like it's none of your business, but if you are looking for a future with him, it is. You don't have to state his reasons, just something for you to consider.

He's getting involved with you while he's getting divorced from his wife, a time that is probably very stressful for him. He's going through some major emotional and financial changes, most of which you probably don't see because you only see him at work. You said that you don't feel used, but I hope he's not just 'passing the time' with you as a way to 'get his mind off things'. It's best for your own protection to wait until the divorce papers have been signed and then see if he's the same man that you are so in love with before moving forward slowly with your relationship. You don't need to get caught up in his 'mess'; you also don't want to become his 'comfort toy'. Be careful, and don't let this man 'steal your heart'.

[sweetie27]

I love you guys and love this site

Thank you all so much for your contributions. I really like to hear from all of you. I actually go on this site before I check my email everyday. I think you are all wonderful and I value every word you say. Thank you for your compassion and understanding. My roommate told me a quote I hold close "No man is worth your tears. The one who is won't make you cry." Thank you all and I will keep you posted. Ali, I agree and appreciate your thoughts!!