[xtine10234]

well i have a problem i have been way to clingy and upset i just started dating this guy and i am really falling for him but my friend is telling me not trust him and all that because in my past relationships i have been hurt a lot and used and i don't feel like he will do that to me i really how can i say this love him and we have only been dating close to a month but i never felt this in love in my whole life and feel like i can trust him but my friends and everyone else are making me feel like i cant i was in a abusive relationship for 2 years and to finally feel cared about and loved is the best feeling in the world but i just worry if i am being to needy like all i can think of is him i just don't want to be this clingy and its hard because i cant see him all the time because he dose not have a job and i am on ssi but he is looking to see me more i just don't understand how my friend cant trust him i want her and him to get along because shes been my friend since 3rd grade and he has tried talking to her adding her on Facebook but she wont talk to him get know him i just want them get along and show her he is a great guy if there is anything i could do please write to me need help here

[Something_Awesome]

People don't like dating the wrong people because doing so is a waste of time. If you don't have a second guy lined up to date, and/or don't intent to have a second guy lined up, you might as well take your chances with this guy. I mean, let's face it, your choices are:

1) Date this guy and see what comes of it, or;

2) Don't date this guy and try to find someone else, or;

3) Don't date this guy and stay idle.

Option 3 is the worst option. If you think option 3 is a strong reality, then you are probably better off ignoring your friends' advice. You might as well date this current guy because dating is better than not dating, and who knows what will come of it!

[kate61]

We all go into relationships not knowing what would happen. Date this guy you have nothing to lose. Take the chance and see what would come out of it. Why let life pass you by because you have been hurt

[atskitty2]

I think if you want to date him, there's nothing wrong with that but be careful with setting boundaries for yourself. Your friend may just be protective of you OR she may get a sense that something's amiss and is trying to help you. Sometimes others see things that we don't...the whole "love is blind" thing...

If you're a needy and clingy person in relationships, there's a reason for that and it, generally speaking, is not a positive thing. Often the person who is on the receiving end of that neediness is exhausted by the efforts to fulfill your needs. I have recent experience with that myself, and I'm happily alone again because of that.

I disagree with #3 being the worst option above. Being alone and having some time to yourself and FOR yourself is a great thing too. It may be just what you need, with your history of abuse and all. Sometimes finding in our own selves the ability to meet all our needs is the most peaceful and progressive thing we can do.

There's no wrong answer really-date him or spend some time alone. Do what's right for yourself.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

well i have a problem i have been way to clingy and upset i just started dating this guy and i am really falling for him but my friend is telling me not trust him and all that because in my past relationships i have been hurt a lot and used and i don't feel like he will do that to me i really how can i say this love him and we have only been dating close to a month but i never felt this in love in my whole life and feel like i can trust him but my friends and everyone else are making me feel like i cant i was in a abusive relationship for 2 years and to finally feel cared about and loved is the best feeling in the world but i just worry if i am being to needy like all i can think of is him i just don't want to be this clingy and its hard because i cant see him all the time because he dose not have a job and i am on ssi but he is looking to see me more i just don't understand how my friend cant trust him i want her and him to get along because shes been my friend since 3rd grade and he has tried talking to her adding her on Facebook but she wont talk to him get know him i just want them get along and show her he is a great guy if there is anything i could do please write to me need help here

You can listen to everyone in the World but you take in what you want and let go of any advice that you don't want.

Perhaps because you've been dating him for nearly a month and from the sounds of things you don't see him very much, how many times do you see him a week?

I ask this because let's say you've seen him 6 times in nearly one month, well that's not enough time yet to really get to know him, follow your heart but protect it too you can actually do both ..

[xtine10234]

well i have been seing him nearly every week since we been dating i am going to try and not be so clingy i get this way sometimes because i do not want to be hurt he is really nice to me and i never ever felt like someone cared about me in a relationship wise then i do now i actually feel happy for once i think maybe i should take the chance and really get to know him and i am still young so maybe i should just give him time to himself i am only 22 and i feel like every relationship i have been hurt and stepped on because i am a very giving person and for once i do not have to give him everything like give him money he actually makes me not do it i don't know maybe if we start dating longer i will be more comfortable and not have to worry its just no ones ever been so nice to me and caring and i do not want to lose that i am hoping that will help giving him space i do not talk to him 24 7 he still goes out with his friends and stuff its just when i am not around him i think about him more and more i am going to try and not be clingy and give him some space i hope it works Evan when i am doing something i think of him ty for the advice and i hope it works because i do not want to lose him

[jen1447]

Why don't your friends trust him?