[sweet_peaa]

Please help I'm a mom with a 2 year old and I've been with her dad for 5 years! Hes been living with me for about 3 and he has no one from his family because he was molested as a child an now doesn't speak to his parents!
I don't know how to end the relationship without calling the cops for him to leave!
Over the years are fights have just been progressing And now is some what getting physical!! He hasn't hit me but has put hands me grabs me puts his hands on my neck my mouth and doesn't give me my space it happens all the time now! He constantly puts me down and tells me how I'm not thinking or what I'm doing wrong! And to be honest I love him but I just can't handle this emotional roller coaster anymore how can I get him to get out of my house without calling the cops or feeling sorry for him??! I feel like me not kicking him out is just showing him I'm excepting his behavior! Were both young parents struggling his going through withdrawals noe that we don't have money really he can't buy his cigarettes or even a drug I found out he was still using when I was pregnant :/ I'm just so lost please someone help me

[rcoreyus]

First - you know he is completely in the wrong and has to leave. The only question is the best way to make that happen.

A few questions
Any chance he will read this?
Do you own the house?
If you tell him to leave (in no uncertain terms) do you think he will? Do you think he might get violent?
Have you ever kicked him out before?
Do you have friends / family you can go to?
Can you go to the police or are there drugs or other issues that make it difficult / impossible to involve them?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Oh honey, my heart goes out to you. When I read please help coupled with any form of abuse I wish I could just get in my car and do just that.

Sweet_peaa, I echo what Rcoreyus has questioned, please ensure you have not saved this site and that it is deleted in History and sign in when you know you are safe. If you use your user-name elsewhere then also let us know as we can change your name for safety.

I understand you don't have any money but as Corey asked do you have family you can turn to? Can you go to a shelter for now with your child?

[Lovcookie]

My concern is how will he react when you tell him to get out? If there is any chance in your mind that he could get even more aggressive when you deliver the news I would have either many friends with you or pack your bags and move yourself now.

He has proven unworthy of your good and compassionate nature. You need to think of yourself and your daughter first. I would call the cops and have a chat with them.

[Pollon]

You and your baby are not safe in the home with him.

There are women's shelter programs everywhere in this country. Do an internet search in your area. They can tell you exactly how to protect yourself and your child in this situation.

[rcoreyus]

A lot depends on whether these problems are sudden or have developed slowly. If they have developed slowly sweet_peaa might be better taking a few days or more to prepare a safe way out of the situation, rather than a sudden move. It depends on the situation and what options are available. Also if it is her house not his, she is not the one who should move.

[sweet_peaa]

No grandma owns house.. I only tried to kick him out I never succeeded!... He throws a sorrow story on me and even gets teary eyed... He knows he has no one with out me... U would think that would make him change his attitude! But it doesn't... I can't talk to family about what really goes on because it will only get worse involving my crazy family who doesn't like him any ways... No no chances he will read this he doesn't really even know I go on this site... I know we have a tons of stress being young parents who bearly got jobs but if things don't change soon I'll have no choice but to end it with him no matter how much its going to hurt:/

[rcoreyus]

If he has gotten physical with you, then the time to end it is now, don't wait until he really hurts you. Tell him to leave. You don't need to shout at him or anything, just tell him to leave, and this time don't back down.

[Pollon]

Please contact a Women's Shelter or Domestic Violence center. They deal with these situations all the time. You will not feel alone and they can tell you exactly what to do and how to keep yourself safe.

[rcoreyus]

I may not be interpreting this correctly and maybe sweet_pea can clarify. Do you think that if you ask him to leave he will, and will not hurt you? Is it just that you aren't sure you want him to leave, or are you concerned about what he might do if you tell him to leave?

Just trying to understand whether you are hesitating because you haven't decided what to do, or you are hesitating for fear of the consequences.