Keep this friend?
I have known this friend almost my entire life. Both now married with children. She was a great sounding board through my single years and did include me in many of her family activities. She is a recovered addict and has children that also had addiction problems as I did with step children. her and husband are godparents to my youngest son. The down side to the friendship has been her obsessive behavior with her home and superior attitude about clothing etc. She is a stay at home Mom and I work so big difference in free time. Every time she is in my home she openly criticizes my home cleanliness or decor....it is endless. It was happening every time she visited, leaving me feeling awful after she left. She would even go so far as to say we should reconsider a vacation my husband and I were going on to use the money to paint the house. If I defend myself saying between working and cooking ,cleaning etc ...I am frazzled...she replies that her Mother did it with 5 children. My house is clean and well kept but not up to her standards so I stopped inviting her over after our outings and we kept mostly to her area of our city to avoid this dialogue.
Last year during basketball playoffs ( I am a fan ) she called to invite us out to dinner and I said I doubted we could go because of the game and that she should make alternative plans but she suggested they come to our house, but ....I did not want to have to run and super clean before she came over so said I was super tired and just wanted to lay low. After that she did not return my calls or speak to me for six months. I did not know why.
I was finally told that I was disrespectful to her feelings as she has only one night to go out a week and I constantly left her hanging or cancelled plans. I am guilty of cancelled plans as I work standing all day and at end of day I can be very very worn out or sometimes it is a funding or kid issue.
When we finally spoke again things seemed fine. We had holiday plans together and two dinner outings then all of a sudden she cut me off again, no return phone calls,being no talking etc. I was told by her husband she was "busy" with home projects so....since that was not unusual I thought maybe I was just paranoid, so I just waited for her to call. FAST FORWARD to my son's High School graduation. I invited her and husband and husband accepted gladly, but two days later called and said my friend did not want to go as she is upset with me again, and says they will send a card!
They are god parents to my son and have been at every moment of growth for my son and he adores them. When I questioned once again what the problem was this time.....her husband said he did not now but I KNEW what I did. SERIOUSLY since our last outing we have not even spoken and I am clearly confused on "What I did" ............I am very tired of having to defend myself about unknown happenings and tired of have to explain my housekeeping schedule or choice of decor.....BUT I still always felt her family was an extension of mine...but perhaps it is time to let go?
Last year during basketball playoffs ( I am a fan ) she called to invite us out to dinner and I said I doubted we could go because of the game and that she should make alternative plans but she suggested they come to our house, but ....I did not want to have to run and super clean before she came over so said I was super tired and just wanted to lay low. After that she did not return my calls or speak to me for six months. I did not know why.
I was finally told that I was disrespectful to her feelings as she has only one night to go out a week and I constantly left her hanging or cancelled plans. I am guilty of cancelled plans as I work standing all day and at end of day I can be very very worn out or sometimes it is a funding or kid issue.
When we finally spoke again things seemed fine. We had holiday plans together and two dinner outings then all of a sudden she cut me off again, no return phone calls,being no talking etc. I was told by her husband she was "busy" with home projects so....since that was not unusual I thought maybe I was just paranoid, so I just waited for her to call. FAST FORWARD to my son's High School graduation. I invited her and husband and husband accepted gladly, but two days later called and said my friend did not want to go as she is upset with me again, and says they will send a card!
They are god parents to my son and have been at every moment of growth for my son and he adores them. When I questioned once again what the problem was this time.....her husband said he did not now but I KNEW what I did. SERIOUSLY since our last outing we have not even spoken and I am clearly confused on "What I did" ............I am very tired of having to defend myself about unknown happenings and tired of have to explain my housekeeping schedule or choice of decor.....BUT I still always felt her family was an extension of mine...but perhaps it is time to let go?
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