[effy2014]

Good for you!! The more he acts like a jerk, the more distance you will be able to put between you and the relationship and the easier it will be to move forward. My suggestion to you is to take him to Court and get every last dime to which you are entitled.

My SO's ex did the same thing. He could only express bitterness and anger. Is that really what happiness is all about? He is not happy and will never be happy. This new relationship will get old and he will move on again. You, on the other hand, will have the benefit of time to heal and will find a much better fit with a man who will be eager to take care of you and your daughter.

Thank you for checking back with us.

[atskitty2]

Yes, I was wondering about you yesterday. Thanks for the update! Keep them coming!

[Baboy]

Happy for your news. We all knew you'd come through!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Funny how they keep covering "themselves", "their" thoughts. I mean he lives in Granny's house free of charge and drives a truck free of charge Spoilt male princess Yep, you know what it's like to be single and wait until you're ready to get out there, you are going to have to fight them all off, well excluding one nice guy that is going to take your "breath" away.................

[tjm0824]

If it's any consolation, relationships that start as affairs almost never last. Plenty of statistics to support. He will, in time, regret his decision. It's amazing how people suddenly think they fell out of love with someone just as soon as someone else comes around and piques their interest. He's in lust with her. That will fade. Then they will be left with the realization that the only thing they had in common was excitement. Suddenly he'll be calling and claiming he made a mistake, doesn't love her, and loves you. Please don't fall for that. Be strong. And REALIZE that he no longer deserves your love.

[ThisOneThought]

... It's just a mess. He chose to be unfaithful and to walk away from the marriage, but doesn't want any repercussions for his actions. At first he said he would take care of me and our daughter until we got on our feet, but that faded fast after he got really hot and heavy with Miss Priss. They are together every, waking, minute of every day. UGH!

That's just so wrong! What makes him think he is so deserving?? Even if I give him the benefit of the doubt and say he is justified in certain aspects (maybe you were a raging ************** all the time, maybe you were lazy....maybe in HIS eyes he sees you as...) it still is not FAIR to you to continue with marriage as if everything is fine, then LIE, and be SNEAKY, and commit adultery, and then LEAVE, and then think he DESERVES to keep everything.

Please understand I am not calling you any of the above lol...I am just trying to prove a point that what he did was ultimately UNFAIR and just plain CRUEL!

[ThisOneThought]

Aw, I'm so happy you had a good week! You're going thru the process and making progress hon, that's fantastic. In order for there to be highs, there have to be lows, and being able to identify the lowest low might just mean you have in fact turned the corner. There'll still be tough times, but hopefully none as tough now as what you've been thru.

This reminds me of a quote from my favorite movie, Vanilla Sky:
"You can do whatever you want with your life, but one day you'll know what love truly is. It's the sour and the sweet. And I know sour, which allows me to appreciate the sweet."

[Pneeleysmom]

Hi all!! Well, in a couple weeks it will be 7 months since we separated. He is still with the GF, she is good to my daughter but I am seeing some questionable posts on social media about her saying she's the mother to "3" children, my daughter being one of them. I haven't mentioned be because I really feel like she's just doing it to frustrate me. I have since blocked her from all social media.

I still have really bad days. I have a huge anxiety issue that has come about since all this happened, and it's hard to decipher what actually may be a health issue and what is just stress and anxiety taking a toll on my body. I have a hard time every other weekend when my daughter is away, even though she doesn't spend the night due to the GF living there. I don't know that I so much miss him anymore as much as I did. I still think constantly about who he is now, what's changed about him, if anything, why she is so much of a better fit for him. Why his family has welcomed her in with open arms and treats her like gold when they treated me much less than sub-par. What I could have done differently and if I failed my husband miserably the reason he cheated. I ALWAYS look for justifications and I guess it's because of all the crap he filled my head with after I found out about the emotional affair.

I just want to move on with my life. I've met no one, my social life has not grown at all, I work full time and take care of my child whom, by the way has just started kindergarten. I feel like I just need someone to talk to that understands me, or even a male companion that I can just hang out with, maybe that would help me self esteem? I don't know, I just get so angry that he appears so happy and like this was all for the better in his life, but here I am, still sad, and lonely and feeling like I am damaged goods. 7 months, and I feel like I haven't moved forward as much as I'd like. Just an update for you all. I think about this forum a lot!!

[effy2014]

Hi all!! Well, in a couple weeks it will be 7 months since we separated. He is still with the GF, she is good to my daughter but I am seeing some questionable posts on social media about her saying she's the mother to "3" children, my daughter being one of them. I haven't mentioned be because I really feel like she's just doing it to frustrate me. I have since blocked her from all social media.

I still have really bad days. I have a huge anxiety issue that has come about since all this happened, and it's hard to decipher what actually may be a health issue and what is just stress and anxiety taking a toll on my body. I have a hard time every other weekend when my daughter is away, even though she doesn't spend the night due to the GF living there. I don't know that I so much miss him anymore as much as I did. I still think constantly about who he is now, what's changed about him, if anything, why she is so much of a better fit for him. Why his family has welcomed her in with open arms and treats her like gold when they treated me much less than sub-par. What I could have done differently and if I failed my husband miserably the reason he cheated. I ALWAYS look for justifications and I guess it's because of all the crap he filled my head with after I found out about the emotional affair.

I just want to move on with my life. I've met no one, my social life has not grown at all, I work full time and take care of my child whom, by the way has just started kindergarten. I feel like I just need someone to talk to that understands me, or even a male companion that I can just hang out with, maybe that would help me self esteem? I don't know, I just get so angry that he appears so happy and like this was all for the better in his life, but here I am, still sad, and lonely and feeling like I am damaged goods. 7 months, and I feel like I haven't moved forward as much as I'd like. Just an update for you all. I think about this forum a lot!!

First of all, Welcome Back!! Congratulations on your daughter starting Kindergarten. She is starting on her great journey in education.

It is hard to separate out the stress from its physical manifestations. I am hopeful that you have found a therapist to work through some of these issues and give you some guidance on reducing your stress levels.

I will reiterate what I wrote months ago. It was never you -- it was all him. He chose to find someone outside the marriage for comfort -- if he were less a coward, he would have expressed his unhappiness BEFORE he cheated and the two of you could have worked through the issues and had a happy marriage. How could you fail if you had no opportunity to even know what issues he was harboring?

You have no idea whether he is happy. He has not changed and he will eventually be disappointed with her. He will probably deal with her as he dealt with you -- hiding his true feelings until he finds another new girl. You are better to be rid of him and his ridiculous family. Honest.

You definitely need friends, both male and female. You can do something about the loneliness. My only caution is that you need to resolve your feelings about him before getting into a new relationship. The worst thing to talk about on a date is how crappy your ex is being.

[Pneeleysmom]

First of all, Welcome Back!! Congratulations on your daughter starting Kindergarten. She is starting on her great journey in education.

It is hard to separate out the stress from its physical manifestations. I am hopeful that you have found a therapist to work through some of these issues and give you some guidance on reducing your stress levels.

I will reiterate what I wrote months ago. It was never you -- it was all him. He chose to find someone outside the marriage for comfort -- if he were less a coward, he would have expressed his unhappiness BEFORE he cheated and the two of you could have worked through the issues and had a happy marriage. How could you fail if you had no opportunity to even know what issues he was harboring?

You have no idea whether he is happy. He has not changed and he will eventually be disappointed with her. He will probably deal with her as he dealt with you -- hiding his true feelings until he finds another new girl. You are better to be rid of him and his ridiculous family. Honest.

You definitely need friends, both male and female. You can do something about the loneliness. My only caution is that you need to resolve your feelings about him before getting into a new relationship. The worst thing to talk about on a date is how crappy your ex is being.

Thanks Effy, it's been a few months! You are correct, I DEFINITELY have no interest in a relationship, outside of just friendship even 7 months into this because I have so much bitterness and jealousy stored up inside of me, even though I do know I am, in the long run, better off without him. He constantly brings drama into my life that I haven't quite figured out how to handle yet. It would just be nice to "FEEL" attractive and wanted by someone outside of the man that I have been with for so long. So much has changed in these 14-15 years, and I'm only 30!! I feel so out of the loop on dating and just how to be in general. I have had a few men flirt with me via social media private messages and 90% of them were married. Disgusting really, and gives me ZERO hope for finding someone that is honest, open and true. Right now, I am content with it just being myself and my daughter, but I do get VERY lonely. Especially on long weekends like the one that just passed. It was rough I tell ya. Here's to hoping that there is a huge, bright loving light at the end of this tunnel that helps me remember what love is all about.