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  • effy2014
    Veteran Member
    • Apr 2014
    • 1777

    Our disagreement is in the definitions. If "love" is defined as chemistry, I would agree with you. It is no better or worse than any factor. Personally, I could not fall in love with a person if our relationship did not have communication, if we could not compromise through disagreements, if we did not share the same views of intimacy and if she were not a giving person. Again, in my view, without emotional connection and dependence (the definition of love I prefer), a relationship will fail.

    I also disagree that arranged marriages "work" any better than marriages based on two people finding each other. If by "work" you mean "stay together", the same culture which arranges the marriage would shun either if divorce were an option. They had to make it work. Are they happy? Who really knows. Many arranged marriages throughout the world, especially in Africa, are based upon the amount of dowry that can be paid to the father of the bride. The girls are no more than 12 or 13. These work? Further, the fact that most Western cultures (and even the more educated in other cultures) have quickly moved away from arranged marriages certainly indicates that they are not widely preferred.

    Love rarely conquers all. As I have previously written, people marry when they are too young and do not understand how to communicate or what factors make them happy. They do not have a clue about themselves. I do not disagree that people can grow into marriages as well . . . find what make them happy and be willing to do the same for their partner. But that would be true in any marriage based on love or money.
    "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

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