[Rivers58]

My partner just recently moved in with me, he's 18 years my senior, (I'm 40). He opened to me that he'd been watching porn recently to ignite a sex drive which he felt was diminishing, I always felt we had a healthy sex life. I reacted badly, but the thing is, I occasionally watch porn myself... So why am I taking this badly and reacting this way?

[DreamP346]

My partner just recently moved in with me, he's 18 years my senior, (I'm 40). He opened to me that he'd been watching porn recently to ignite a sex drive which he felt was diminishing, I always felt we had a healthy sex life. I reacted badly, but the thing is, I occasionally watch porn myself... So why am I taking this badly and reacting this way?

Because he said he needed it to ignite his sex drive. If he just said he likes watching porn, I think it wouldn't bother you at all.

[jen1447]

It's important to remember that not all guys (or many, honestly) are wired like us. We usually have a direct link between bonding and sexual desire, but they don't always. It's not a defect, it's just how they are. Their sexual response is or can be quite separate from their affection for us. So while we usually get hornier based on the amount of genuine affection we're feeling for them, they just get horny, period, or not, and neither one is actually a good meter for measuring how much they love us necessarily.

[Romy]

It's important to remember that not all guys (or many, honestly) are wired like us. We usually have a direct link between bonding and sexual desire, but they don't always. It's not a defect, it's just how they are. Their sexual response is or can be quite separate from their affection for us. So while we usually get hornier based on the amount of genuine affection we're feeling for them, they just get horny, period, or not, and neither one is actually a good meter for measuring how much they love us necessarily.

So true Jen.

[Romy]

I too have hated the idea of porn because in the past I've felt like my SO has wanted or preferred the girls in the videos over me but it's not that at all. I know exactly how you're feeling. Try not to let it get to you.

[Motorguy]

Well porn can be good for you and your partner together watching it. But if you watching it by your self it's either your embarrassed to let others know you watching it or that's the only way you can get pleasure by self pleasure by watching it. Me and wife watch it in are bed room in bed together that leads to some good sex together. Some time we be in bed wife will say hey let's watch some porn it's kind of a foreplay for her to get the motor prime for better fun later we will watch for a 15 to 20 minutes minutes till we are making are own porn then lol.

[Rivers58]

You are right, it probably is my own embarrassment. Now the topic is out there, perhaps I can work up to watching it together. I'm not sure why I took it so badly that he was watching it and only told me because the computer got corrupted!

[Rivers58]

Another question on this, he said while watching porn he didn't masturbate, does this happen? I don't really believe that?

[jns]

Another question on this, he said while watching porn he didn't masturbate, does this happen? I don't really believe that?

If he has been watching porn and the porn has been exciting him, he will want relief one way or another. If he holds back, he will be more excited with you. If he doesn't hold back, he will get his relief with masturbation.

[effy2014]

Another question on this, he said while watching porn he didn't masturbate, does this happen? I don't really believe that?

Yes, Rivers. Men can actually watch porn without masterbating. Do you think we are that out of control?