[ChristinaHedge]

Have you gone to a professional about this. You do have agency to take control of the situation. I know you are upset and distraught, but rather than just feeling and expressing your feelings, maybe if it is overwhelming and something you are not able to deal with yourself then you need the intervention of someone that has the skills to deal with your grief properly.
Have you called a therapist?

[katzintheclouds]

We do have a local place that I'm going to reach out to tomorrow, I took a day off from work as almost a mental health day. I'm by no means at my wits end, but it would be good to discuss such things with someone who may be able to offer some insight. I agree that it would be good to have them involved. That's my next step!