[Samanthaish]

Hi,
I'm having a couple of issues, and didn't know where to turn with them, so I thought I'd try out this forum because it seems to have good reviews and everyone is willing to share their opinion. However, at the same time, I am only seventeen, and my issues will (most likely) seem quite petty, especially in comparison to some of the heavier topics you ladies do discuss. Some of you may even suggest I take it to a forum for teenagers or something similar, however I don't believe they will be able to give me as much insightful information as this group will. I do apologise though, if this post does annoy anyone, however, as I said, I looked into other options and believed this to be the best.
One more quick thing before I give you the story is that I'm unsure if it will come across as more of a rant, or as me asking for both, and that's probably because it's a bit of both.

My name is Samantha, and I am seventeen years old. I'm an identical twin (Jessica), and she and I are best friends. We've grown up reared together, being in the same classes, having the same interests and hobbies, and so we are best friends. However, this is now becoming slightly and issue (and I'm finally starting to understand why teachers were always separating us to become individuals). We've became interested in the same guy. Brayden is nineteen, and I've known him for about five months now, introducing Jessica to him about four months ago. Brayden's recently admitted to us that he's interested in me, however Jessica isn't taking this well. She's began to tell him all the bad information about me. An example being, that I get bored of people really easily (basing it off my past relationship which was only about a month) The bad information isn't all that bad, but it has began to make things awkward for him. She's questioning him on why me and not her, and trying to figure out what the differences are. He has answered her questions quite simply, saying that he views her as more of a friend, and that they're too similar. However, I've also talked to Brayden and while we were discussing seeing how things go, he's now thinking that with Jessica's behaviour it might not be the best idea (which I can understand and agree with to an extent).
I'm just not sure how to deal with this triangle, or what would be the right way to go about things. Should I speak with Brayden? With Jessica? Should we discuss it as a group? At all? Have any of you ladies been in a similar relationship, of having your twin (or a close friend) interested in the same person as you and how did you go about it?

Thank you for reading, and replying if you choose to do so.

[Stillness]

Samantha, don't let any romantic interest come between you and your sister. You all need some kind of code or agreement for this. Men may come and go, but you're sisters forever.

Somebody needs to just back off before something happens that takes years to heal. I've been in similar situations as the source of the potential division between friends and as one of the friends going after the same person. In all situations friendships were maintained because one person backed down.

[Bloomfield]

I think you need to talk to your sister. What does she think she's accomplishing by bad mouthing you to a guy who already likes you? Clearly A) she is making Brayden uncomfortable. B) saying bad things about you isn't going to win her the guy. If anything it is probably making him think less of her. C) this isn't a place for sibling rivalry. I think your sister is maybe feeling the need to compete with you because to some extent "you're the exact same" so she doesn't understand why he would pick you over her. tell her that while you sympathize for her, it is not up to you to step down from a relationship because she is jealous. A relationship isn't something that you can just cut in half and share simply because you both want it. Life isn't always butterflies and daisies. He chose you and someone else is going to choose your sister, but regardless of your actions, its not going to by Brayden.

[JasonParkins]

Hi,
I'm having a couple of issues, and didn't know where to turn with them, so I thought I'd try out this forum because it seems to have good reviews and everyone is willing to share their opinion. However, at the same time, I am only seventeen, and my issues will (most likely) seem quite petty, especially in comparison to some of the heavier topics you ladies do discuss. Some of you may even suggest I take it to a forum for teenagers or something similar, however I don't believe they will be able to give me as much insightful information as this group will. I do apologise though, if this post does annoy anyone, however, as I said, I looked into other options and believed this to be the best.
One more quick thing before I give you the story is that I'm unsure if it will come across as more of a rant, or as me asking for both, and that's probably because it's a bit of both.

My name is Samantha, and I am seventeen years old. I'm an identical twin (Jessica), and she and I are best friends. We've grown up reared together, being in the same classes, having the same interests and hobbies, and so we are best friends. However, this is now becoming slightly and issue (and I'm finally starting to understand why teachers were always separating us to become individuals). We've became interested in the same guy. Brayden is nineteen, and I've known him for about five months now, introducing Jessica to him about four months ago. Brayden's recently admitted to us that he's interested in me, however Jessica isn't taking this well. She's began to tell him all the bad information about me. An example being, that I get bored of people really easily (basing it off my past relationship which was only about a month) The bad information isn't all that bad, but it has began to make things awkward for him. She's questioning him on why me and not her, and trying to figure out what the differences are. He has answered her questions quite simply, saying that he views her as more of a friend, and that they're too similar. However, I've also talked to Brayden and while we were discussing seeing how things go, he's now thinking that with Jessica's behaviour it might not be the best idea (which I can understand and agree with to an extent).
I'm just not sure how to deal with this triangle, or what would be the right way to go about things. Should I speak with Brayden? With Jessica? Should we discuss it as a group? At all? Have any of you ladies been in a similar relationship, of having your twin (or a close friend) interested in the same person as you and how did you go about it?

Thank you for reading, and replying if you choose to do so.

What you need to do unfortunately is tell the guy that you're not willing to lose a lifelong friendship for him. Or talk to your sister and ask her what she wants, would she feel comfortable going out with him (if he agreed) when she knows he really likes you and you like him? Im sure she wouldn't be comfortable if she really thought about it.

[Samanthaish]

So I've spoken to Brayden about it and we've decided we're not going to enter a relationship unless we start to feel that it'd last for longer than a few months. Jessica however is still making comments and quite upset about the ordeal. She feels like she's always second best and nobody ever wants her before me. Is there anything I can say/do to help her out?


Thank you all so much for your responses and advice, I've found it really helpful and appreciate it a lot.