[bubbles]

My boyfriend said to me im going out to meet a couple guys for a coffee before work tonight ( he works nights ) I joked around saying whats her name? he said oh babe, i would never wreck what we have here, our family and everything , i would never cheat on you...... Then today I took his phone playing around and he tried to take it from me... on the phone was text messages saying that he had gone out to the strippers, and now im furious that he lied to me, plus went out to see strippers.... I hate that he lied and years ago when he went to the strippers he ended up fooling around with one of them, he told me he cheated and that she liked him ( i told him she probably liked 40 other guys there too that night that gave her money.... he gave her 100's of ours).... so it drudged up all those bad feelings again, and i dont know what to do... Please give me some advice please...

[sourpuss]

Honestly, you should have left him when he spent $100s on a stripper and cheated with her. How many more lies do you need to catch him in to prove to yourself that you are too good for him?

You mentioned family, so I assume you have a kid together, no? What kind of father tells the mother of his child he's going out for coffee and then hides the fact the he actually went to a strip club instead? I think you already know the answer.

It would be one thing if it was a group of his buddies and him going out for a bachelor party and you knew about it in advance, or you went along with. But the fact that he's lying and hiding behavior that hurts you is a problem.

Only you can decide to find the strength to leave him.

[libertas]

To answer your question, taking into account past events, I would be.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Not taking into account the previous transgression, which is pretty ****ing, it's not necessarily as bad as it looks. He may have just wanted to spend some time with his friends and that was where they were going. Also looking is a long way from touching.

[sourpuss]

Not taking into account the previous transgression, which is pretty ****ing, it's not necessarily as bad as it looks. He may have just wanted to spend some time with his friends and that was where they were going. Also looking is a long way from touching.

I would agree with you if he hadn't cheated and lied before.

[sweetie27]

I can understand the need for men to be visually stimulated by women. I do not however understand why they need to find it from someone other than their wife or girlfriend. I for one could not handle that situation. I am disgusted by the fact that women degrate themselves and make it a more difficult society for the rest of us to live in. Unfortunately, it is a business that will never die. I agree with sourpuss, if he finds spending his money on a stripper more important than supporting his family, taking you out or putting it away for a college fund, I would be wondering where his priorities are at. Sounds like he has put them in front of you more than once.

[Little]

I am disgusted by the fact that women degrate themselves and make it a more difficult society for the rest of us to live in. Unfortunately, it is a business that will never die. I agree with sourpuss, if he finds spending his money on a stripper more important than supporting his family, taking you out or putting it away for a college fund, I would be wondering where his priorities are at.

What if the strippers are trying to support their families or save for college?
Don't blame the strippers; it's a well paying (in italics because it pays remarkably well) job, physically pretty easy (no lifting anything that weighs less than yourself,) hours that let the girls spend time with their children, and did I mention that it pays REALLY well?
It's not illegal, doesn't open up the women to diseases any more than any social job, and they have bodyguards.
Now, if they're prostitutes on the side, well then, shame, shame on them, but that's really the industry that will never die. And it's a much harsher reality.
Don't blame the strippers. They just work there.

[bubbles]

well I dont blame the strippers... I think that that industry is fine for "single" men, not husbands and boyfriends.... It hurts to know your boyfriend is looking, it does for me anyways. But the whole lying fact just gets my blood boiling! And his past track record there, like I was pregnant when he cheated with a stripper the first time... I dont think this relationship will last, I just need the nerve to end it...

[sourpuss]

well I dont blame the strippers... I think that that industry is fine for "single" men, not husbands and boyfriends.... It hurts to know your boyfriend is looking, it does for me anyways. But the whole lying fact just gets my blood boiling! And his past track record there, like I was pregnant when he cheated with a stripper the first time... I dont think this relationship will last, I just need the nerve to end it...

What do you think it will take for you to leave him?

Maybe sit down alone and really think about it and ask yourself what it would take to leave him. Then begin to work towards whatever that may be. If it's a support system you need, begin talking with your friends about leaving. If it's an apartment, begin saving money so you can get your own place....etc etc.

[sweetie27]

I don't doubt the fact that it is a well paying job but what are these women going to put on their resumes when they are around 40 and looking for a job that doesn't mind if thier boobs are sagging and they are beginning to get wrinkles? I think it is wonderful that women can support themselves based on the way they look, but unfortunately what you stated above about dancers putting themselves through college and supporting families isn't usually the norm. Most of the time it is to support drug habbits that are formed in the clubs they dance in. Just my opinion.