[C]

Most people only know one side of the story.
If they are the wife (or her friend)
if they are the gal (or her friend)
if they are the husband (or his confident)

Most times during a divorce, everyone wants to
talk to me; (I must have a kind face.)

Very often the husband is saying that the
gal virtually raped him and he doesn't want
his wife to leave him.

The gal will come with either...
a) didn't know he was married
b) knew he was married but believed his wife
in a mental institution, abroad, separated, etc.
c) he said he was in the midst of getting a divorce

The wife will come with
a) never knew until
b) promised he never would again but

When the wife and gal get to exchange notes
the husband is exposed.

After the wife divorces him, if he marries the
gal, she'll keep me on speed dial so that the
divorce will be streamlined.

I will add one more thing on this.....I, personally, know of an instance when a man has threatened bodily harm to another woman.....The other party at first refused to talk as she stayed out of it....But because of the fact that she did finally listen, she is now alert to the possibility of what may happen.....We really do not know who we are dealing with in any relationship.....They could just as easily have a sinister side that fools everyone...

[kaylar]

That's a very good point, Caro.

I always suggest, when giving a public talk
that what you do when you meet a chap is
to find out where he lives.

Before anything happens, pay a visit one
Sunday afternoon.

You might find lots of toys in a yard.
You might find a woman watering the
garden.

You speak to them, just in case you have
the wrong address or the guy is a border,
or lives in the small side of the house,
etc.

Bright and cheerful ask if Joe is there,
and the woman might come up and introduce
herself as Mrs. Joe, and maybe ask what
you are doing there.

Very spritely say that you work with Joe
and went to visit your cousin and just
thought to say hi as you were passing.

In this way you are protected from the guy
who tells you he lives alone, or isn't married
or whatever.

Before you marry the chap visit his family.
If there seems a tension, don't ask him.
Hear between the words.

Ask one of his younger siblings.

You might here,

"Look, we have nothing against you personally,
but he got Candy pregnant, wouldn't marry her,
won't pay for his child, and now he traipses in
with you."

Well, if you never heard about Candy, you have
now, and the best thing is to NOT marry this
guy, in fact, get away as fast as possible,
WITHOUT MENTIONING CANDY.

If you can visit his family early enough, you
will know whether or not you want to be
involved with these people.

In some cases, you don't marry a man, you
marry the entire tribe.