[kelly82]

Hi,
Two months ago I broke off a relationship with a married man I met at school. His wife found our emails recently and the sh** hit the fan from then! She tries to contact me via email, phone, texts, etc.. He has told her that I was not aware that he is married and has a kid (a bit of a white lie I must admit) however she continues to contact me. I don't know whether she wants to curse me out or really wants to find out what happened. When she emails, calls, texts, she only says "It's me, I know who you are. Please call me back." I don't know if it's a good idea?!?? any thoughts?!??

[sourpuss]

Yikes. Not a good situation. So are you saying that you did know he was married with a kid? I certainly would not agree to meet up with her to talk or anything. Maybe just reply with an email saying that you broke it off with him and you would like to move on. I don't know though, it's hard to feel sorry for someone who was with a married person. Either email her once that it is over and let it go or continue to ignore her. That's the best advice I can give.

[byutifol_nytmare]

yah i agree with soupuss.. either email her or just ignore her.. after all you have broken it off...
or maybe even change your number...

[kaylar]

I totally disagree with the previous advice.
the wife wants to know, maybe she's thinking
of divorce. No doubt, this is not the first
time for him, it might be the first time she's
caught him.

I would respond via email, so you'd have a
record of the conversation.

She is not the 'enemy'.

Put yourself in her place.

You find out your darling husband can't
keep his pants on. You find out the female
he's enjoying. You want to know what has
happened.

He is on his knees, crying, begging, promising,
swearing...

"It didn't mean anything! I got drunk, I passed
out, this female virtually raped me!"

You are not sure if you believe him.
So you want the other woman to confirm...

After all, the other woman is a total S L U T,
right? I mean she went after your husband, right?
Or not right?

You can pretty much bet that he has told her more
lies about you than you could imagine.

As a lawyer I have had the experiences of the
other woman who didn't know the man was married...
or who had been told that his wife had left him
or was in a mental institution...

Wives have told me of situations where they were
at some social engagement, and some female has
come up to them..."Are you Mrs. Husband? Are you
married to Mr. Lousy Husband?" with this look of
Epiphany and terror on their faces, only to find
out that this female has been having her brains
screwed out by a guy who has told her that his
wife died.

Now just put yourself in the place of either the
wife or the other woman.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I totally disagree with the previous advice.
the wife wants to know, maybe she's thinking
of divorce. No doubt, this is not the first
time for him, it might be the first time she's
caught him.

I would respond via email, so you'd have a
record of the conversation.

She is not the 'enemy'.

Put yourself in her place.

You find out your darling husband can't
keep his pants on. You find out the female
he's enjoying. You want to know what has
happened.

He is on his knees, crying, begging, promising,
swearing...

"It didn't mean anything! I got drunk, I passed
out, this female virtually raped me!"

You are not sure if you believe him.
So you want the other woman to confirm...

After all, the other woman is a total S L U T,
right? I mean she went after your husband, right?
Or not right?

You can pretty much bet that he has told her more
lies about you than you could imagine.

As a lawyer I have had the experiences of the
other woman who didn't know the man was married...
or who had been told that his wife had left him
or was in a mental institution...

Wives have told me of situations where they were
at some social engagement, and some female has
come up to them..."Are you Mrs. Husband? Are you
married to Mr. Lousy Husband?" with this look of
Epiphany and terror on their faces, only to find
out that this female has been having her brains
screwed out by a guy who has told her that his
wife died.

Now just put yourself in the place of either the
wife or the other woman.

I agree totally with Kaylar.

Firstly as a woman to woman, men that cheat often as Kaylar said, cheat on going.

So as a woman, let this other woman know what she wants to know and email so that you can keep records is the smartest as Kaylar said, also a better protective and easier way for you to communicate as also, we don't know who this woman is, ie) what type of person, she could lose it if you met and hit you.

Ask her, what she would like to know you don't owe this man anything at all, stop feeling sorry for him, he was married, has a child you had an affair, you knew about it all, and therefore, he knew you knew.

He is in the wrong not her, why make her suffer wondering what she needs to know on a daily basis over and over, because you won't communicate?

[C]

I totally disagree with the previous advice.
the wife wants to know, maybe she's thinking
of divorce. No doubt, this is not the first
time for him, it might be the first time she's
caught him.

I would respond via email, so you'd have a
record of the conversation.

She is not the 'enemy'.

Put yourself in her place.

You find out your darling husband can't
keep his pants on. You find out the female
he's enjoying. You want to know what has
happened.

He is on his knees, crying, begging, promising,
swearing...

"It didn't mean anything! I got drunk, I passed
out, this female virtually raped me!"

You are not sure if you believe him.
So you want the other woman to confirm...

After all, the other woman is a total S L U T,
right? I mean she went after your husband, right?
Or not right?

You can pretty much bet that he has told her more
lies about you than you could imagine.

As a lawyer I have had the experiences of the
other woman who didn't know the man was married...
or who had been told that his wife had left him
or was in a mental institution...

Wives have told me of situations where they were
at some social engagement, and some female has
come up to them..."Are you Mrs. Husband? Are you
married to Mr. Lousy Husband?" with this look of
Epiphany and terror on their faces, only to find
out that this female has been having her brains
screwed out by a guy who has told her that his
wife died.

Now just put yourself in the place of either the
wife or the other woman.

I agree with Kay on this....You never know what other things are in his past. Sometimes it thoroughly amazes me how a man can forget so easily that he is married and a Father. Nothing counts but his thrill of the moment. It's really a shame that someone like this got married from the start...They would have better off single both from the standpoint of breaking a woman's heart who has married them, plus the poor woman that may fall for him and then suffer the shock that she was in love with a married man.

I guess for some men, life is a soap opera.....stay tuned for the newest episode.....

[kaylar]

When he's taking off his pants, he is not thinking
of his wife, his children, he's not even thinking of
the female in front of him.

She could be an android, she could be ugly,
she could be old enough to be his mother or
daughter.

All she is ... a port in a storm.
After he's completed he wants to race back
to his wife, because the real orgasm comes
when he lies. That's where the kick is.
To tell her a lie, and get over.

[sourpuss]

I agree totally with Kaylar.

Firstly as a woman to woman, men that cheat often as Kaylar said, cheat on going.

So as a woman, let this other woman know what she wants to know and email so that you can keep records is the smartest as Kaylar said, also a better protective and easier way for you to communicate as also, we don't know who this woman is, ie) what type of person, she could lose it if you met and hit you.

Ask her, what she would like to know you don't owe this man anything at all, stop feeling sorry for him, he was married, has a child you had an affair, you knew about it all, and therefore, he knew you knew.

He is in the wrong not her, why make her suffer wondering what she needs to know on a daily basis over and over, because you won't communicate?

It really sucks to be cheated on, yes. But she doesn't owe this woman anything. She knew he was married with kids, it's not like he's the only one who did anything wrong here.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

When he's taking off his pants, he is not thinking
of his wife, his children, he's not even thinking of
the female in front of him.

She could be an android, she could be ugly,
she could be old enough to be his mother or
daughter.

All she is ... a port in a storm.
After he's completed he wants to race back
to his wife, because the real orgasm comes
when he lies. That's where the kick is.
To tell her a lie, and get over.

Kaylar, i answered a post directed at me today, in a Forum on cheating and what you wrote here should be added i think and quoted to J.

[kaylar]

Most people only know one side of the story.
If they are the wife (or her friend)
if they are the gal (or her friend)
if they are the husband (or his confident)

Most times during a divorce, everyone wants to
talk to me; (I must have a kind face.)

Very often the husband is saying that the
gal virtually raped him and he doesn't want
his wife to leave him.

The gal will come with either...
a) didn't know he was married
b) knew he was married but believed his wife
in a mental institution, abroad, separated, etc.
c) he said he was in the midst of getting a divorce

The wife will come with
a) never knew until
b) promised he never would again but

When the wife and gal get to exchange notes
the husband is exposed.

After the wife divorces him, if he marries the
gal, she'll keep me on speed dial so that the
divorce will be streamlined.