[lacrossemom97]

My husband has a coworker who I've only met twice when I was with my husband....he is at least 9 years older than me, kind of a quiet guy but attractive in a boyish way. The first time we all met as couples, he looked at me and said we should all go out sometime. I said to him "just pick a place and we'll figure it out." He followed us to the door and said to me "know -- you pick the place." Then the last time my husband had a business dinner with him, this person asked about me and said he wished I could have come. Recently, I ran into him unexpectedly at his workplace, a hospital. He was on his way to see a patient. He came up behind me and nudged me in the arm....when I noticed who it was, I was embarrassed but flattered and kind of smiled and said "hey" and nudged back....kind of friendly but interesting because like I said we've only met twice so we're not on long-term buddy terms and he had never touched me before. Anyway, he asked me how I was, made some other small talk and then asked me how I was a second time. I felt like a high school girl and was kind of embarrassed because he is a busy doctor and I knew he had more important things to do than talk to me. Does this sound like flirting or just being friendly to a co-worker's wife?

I talk to males all the time but rarely do I second-guess the interactions like this....I know I should stop thinking about it but it just has be curious about his intent. Not that I would ever act on this in a million years, but at 42 years old, it would just be nice to know if I still have something that is interesting to the male species. I love my husband and would never be unfaithful but I do enjoy being around the rare fun man who can flirt platonically in a joking manner. Just wondering why I'm obsessing over this brief innocent encounter.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

My husband has a coworker who I've only met twice when I was with my husband....he is at least 9 years older than me, kind of a quiet guy but attractive in a boyish way. The first time we all met as couples, he looked at me and said we should all go out sometime. I said to him "just pick a place and we'll figure it out." He followed us to the door and said to me "know -- you pick the place." Then the last time my husband had a business dinner with him, this person asked about me and said he wished I could have come. Recently, I ran into him unexpectedly at his workplace, a hospital. He was on his way to see a patient. He came up behind me and nudged me in the arm....when I noticed who it was, I was embarrassed but flattered and kind of smiled and said "hey" and nudged back....kind of friendly but interesting because like I said we've only met twice so we're not on long-term buddy terms and he had never touched me before. Anyway, he asked me how I was, made some other small talk and then asked me how I was a second time. I felt like a high school girl and was kind of embarrassed because he is a busy doctor and I knew he had more important things to do than talk to me. Does this sound like flirting or just being friendly to a co-worker's wife?

I talk to males all the time but rarely do I second-guess the interactions like this....I know I should stop thinking about it but it just has be curious about his intent. Not that I would ever act on this in a million years, but at 42 years old, it would just be nice to know if I still have something that is interesting to the male species. I love my husband and would never be unfaithful but I do enjoy being around the rare fun man who can flirt platonically in a joking manner. Just wondering why I'm obsessing over this brief innocent encounter.

Body language is an amazing thing, i think he may in addition have some charisma about him. He was bold in speaking to you at the door, in asking about you and wished that you had made it, and bold at nudging you.

At 42, is not relevant, it's more like you've been married for a long time probably and that attention takes you back before you were married i am sure, and it's nice to feel attractive to another male.

Also because he instantly recognised you and nudged you, that made you feel special.

I think he would be the sort of person that would take you into the broom room if you let him, then move on to the next conquest but irrespective, it's natural to feel beautiful in someone's eye.

Only thing different i would have done, would have added my husband's name into that conversation so that he knew you enjoyed the attention, but not available... You both would still have enjoyed that flirtatious moment.

But it is natural.

[lacrossemom97]

Thanks, interesting response and I did actually insert my husband's name into the conversation so I did the right thing there. It probably was nothing...!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Thanks, interesting response and I did actually insert my husband's name into the conversation so I did the right thing there. It probably was nothing...!

No, i think he has the "hots for you". Just saying, men are men and by touching you, he could be checking for the "boundry" there....

[lacrossemom97]

Just a little update on this situation....I haven't seen my husband's coworker since March when I first wrote this post and haven't thought anything about this situation until today. The other night I sent in some homemade Christmas candy with my husband to share with coworkers at the hospital since they would all be working overnight on New Year's Eve. I guess no one else brought any food so the candy was eaten really fast by the nurses and doctors and everyone was commenting on how good it was. The above-mentioned possibly flirtatious co-worker happened to be working and apparently he ate some and he told my husband that "Diane can stop by my house with some of this anytime." So maybe I'm just reading way too much into that statement but I thought it was really funny considering the other subtle vibes I was getting. Am I totally delusional in thinking this was a subtle way of flirting without being in the same room?

[Ashlee T.]

It's amazing how two people can have physically chemistry and without saying a word, both of you know. But the thing about it, is there are SO many people you will have physical chemistry with. More than likely just as CW said, you guys were attracted, but also he's a charmer and knows just the right subtle things to do to make a woman feel attractive and desired...without crossing the line. After that point, he can slowly but surely continue until he see's what your boundaries are. Would he sleep with ya? Yep, most likely without hesitation. Would it mean anything? Nope...not a thing.

Sounds like you did the right thing by not allowing yourself to fixate on this, and allowing yourself to move past it. Sounds like you have an awesome husband and are a very lucky woman. :-)

[Guest]

he likes you and is probably attracted to you. nothing wrong with that!

[happy ending]

it sounds like you do have a bit of chemistry happening, but you are keeping it light and harmless - sounds the way to go!

[2morrow]

Yes, I would say he was/is attracted to you. And to probably 20 others as well. He sounds like a flirt and possibly a womanizer. He knows he is charasmatic and he gives the good chase. He is probably a lover then a leaver. Just leave him- alone. You did the right thing. Nothing good would come out of it.

[Gal]

This is just a start.He is passing hints, since its difficult for married people to approach each other directly. After couple of years in your married life, you tend to loose interest though you love each other. So its kinda fling, for attractions age has no barrier. It is upto you what do you want. For few meetings attraction would you want to risk your happy married life. Its better you take it as a pass by moment and forget it.