[CHANDLERS WISH]

I remember as a child, when i was given advice, i'd buck and rebel, not only think, you are wrong but state it.

When asking for advice sometimes it may not be totally what you want to hear or a reader on a forum may read a bit more into what you may be feeling, hell she may even be right but told, you are wrong!. As they rebel and do not want to hear.

But to judge, whether sexual or other avenues every single person on this earth has made a or many mistakes, it's how we grow and learn.

It is what makes us stronger and better at the next venture of simular capacity.

Opinions, beliefs, they also have their own place for existance.

A kind soul will see past any wrong doing or bad decision as a move in the right direction when realised no matter what that doing or decision was, as they understand the learning and growth of a human being.

[TheMainGirl]

I Couldn't do it thanks anyway for the help.... I appreciate it

[C]

Caroline, Thank you very much..your words gave me chills, touched me lots. You are a wonderful lady and I value your opinion and words.

Thank you very much for your kind words....What is it they say? Oh, I recall.....It takes one, to know one....xox

[Fallen1]

Only when you can look at both sides of the road as you walk down the middle, are your eyes open enough to truly grasp life.

I have walked both sides...I have had an affair with a married man and had a woman try and seduce my husband in a hotel.....

Same here. My first husband cheated on me with a girl he worked with and I to (about 3 years ago) after my second marriage went bad made the mistake of getting involved with a married man. Oh he was a smooth talker ....

Now I live every day with the fact that I got involved with him and it eats me up inside.

[just4me]

Right back at ya Caroline..xoxo

[just4me]

Same here. My first husband cheated on me with a girl he worked with and I to (about 3 years ago) after my second marriage went bad made the mistake of getting involved with a married man. Oh he was a smooth talker ....

Now I live every day with the fact that I got involved with him and it eats me up inside.

I feel bad for being involved with a married man. What I do not regret is what I have learned from this experience. I believe everything happens for a reason, so I'll take what I've learned and move forward.

I don't think things would have been different between he and I had he been married or not because of the kind of person he is. I have regrets but then there are things that I don't regret out of it too, but thats the lessons and the way I opened up as a person. I will know that I never have to settle for being second in another man's life again and that I did learn alot from this experience even if it wasn't all good.

[Fallen1]

In my situation he turned on me to save his own hide. When his wife found out he told her that I wouldn't leave him alone, that I kept calling him etc. etc. It was quite the opposite, all through the relationship I would always bring up not seeing each other any more because of the quilt I felt of him having a family.

So it was easy for me to let go of the relationship because the hurt of loosing him (or at least what I thought I had) quickly turned to anger because of his betrayal.

[just4me]

In my situation he turned on me to save his own hide. When his wife found out he told her that I wouldn't leave him alone, that I kept calling him etc. etc. It was quite the opposite, all through the relationship I would always bring up not seeing each other any more because of the quilt I felt of him having a family.

So it was easy for me to let go of the relationship because the hurt of loosing him (or at least what I thought I had) quickly turned to anger because of his betrayal.

Oh i don't blame you i'd be mad too...the one I was with would do the same thing. Thats the kind of person he is..I know he would. Actually I think many years ago when he was having one of his many flings, he did that to a girl. She then inturn sent his wife pictures of them together and conversations they had had on msn and emails. The wife still stayed and i'm sure he blamed it all on the other chickie.

Id be mad too. When I start missing him terribly I am thinking of the things he said to me when I found out he had cheated on me as well and that it was my fault he did it, cause I was fighting with him, cause he knew I had someone else too(which I did not) and the classic because he was lonely with me being 8 hours away. So he even tried to blame his cheating on me. PFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTT . Idiot!! LOL

[Fallen1]

After I posted my "admission" of having a relationship with a married man I regretted it. At the time I just felt that I needed to put it out there to show that it does happen even to those of us who have strong beliefs about such things. I know no one here knows me but if you knew the person I was before it happened you would have thought I would have never committed such a wrong - I certainly never thought I would. I couldn't understand how anyone could do such a thing.

He was a friend to my ex-husband and myself. I was at the end of my bad (verbally abusive etc.) marriage and was at the point that I had no self esteem. He saw the opportunity and took it. This man was cunning. He knew exactly what to say and do to get what he wanted. I heard stories about his "terrible in laws" and how terrible his wife was, how she mistreated him, and even how bad a mother she was. Among those I heard stories about how wonderful I was, how he dreamed of a life with me, how much he loved me etc. etc.

I have never claimed to be without fault but when I look back on it I think that had I not been in such a state of mind at that particular point in time, I never would have fallen into such a terrible situation. I don't think I will ever forgive myself for giving in. That affair is one mistake in my life that I would give anything to take back.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

After I posted my "admission" of having a relationship with a married man I regretted it. At the time I just felt that I needed to put it out there to show that it does happen even to those of us who have strong beliefs about such things. I know no one here knows me but if you knew the person I was before it happened you would have thought I would have never committed such a wrong - I certainly never thought I would. I couldn't understand how anyone could do such a thing.

He was a friend to my ex-husband and myself. I was at the end of my bad (verbally abusive etc.) marriage and was at the point that I had no self esteem. He saw the opportunity and took it. This man was cunning. He knew exactly what to say and do to get what he wanted. I heard stories about his "terrible in laws" and how terrible his wife was, how she mistreated him, and even how bad a mother she was. Among those I heard stories about how wonderful I was, how he dreamed of a life with me, how much he loved me etc. etc.

I have never claimed to be without fault but when I look back on it I think that had I not been in such a state of mind at that particular point in time, I never would have fallen into such a terrible situation. I don't think I will ever forgive myself for giving in. That affair is one mistake in my life that I would give anything to take back.

Fallen.. As you said. No one knows you... But that also goes for " no one knows you here" and to be able to firstly state that, took a hell of a lot of guts and i hope by writing it, it also gave some form of relief of getting it out. I for one, was in oar....

I understand abbusive relationships, at your lowest, i was injured in 1999, layed up for 6 months, whilst trying to work, but couldn't. That is when my husband ( ex) entered. When i felt un-attractive, in pain, no future financially, i ended up with 20% disability down my right hand side, bugger hate cold weather.... He also stated poor me, and gave me attention... It is how it is, we are human. When we feel the lowest, that's when the "preditors" come into it, and take control...

In addition.... I fell for my Chef, he was married. He told me that he was leaving his wife, she hid their bills under the bed in a garbage bag and instead bought luxury items she wanted. Now, he did leave her, i did get engaged to him, didn't marry him in the end, but the point is, regardless that i believed he was leaving her and it was over. AND, that i had met her and could clearly see the non attention given to her and that he left her very shortly after that conversation or our beginning, by a couple weeks, he was still married at that time. I didn't care. "Right" he's leaving, no problem.

In retrospect, i should have said, great and waited first, as she felt hurt and although she didn't blame me, as she knew the core and the reason as they had been fighting about it for a couple of months, she did know that he had moved on, and with me, and i could have not worsenned her pain...

We, don't think like that, when we need "love" and "that knight comes along", and we fall, we fall.. We justify why but we don't change it...

Nearly every woman that has had an affair with a married man that i know, or have read here, "he" was a smooth talker... They know the vonrability of a female's emotions and when to "strike"... We should only feel guilty that we "got sucked in", not what we did as that was as a result of an action.... and both chemistry and "i love you", are powerful tools a man can use against a woman...

Glad you mentioned it. When i left my "verbally demeaning husband", i had all sorts of men around me, but even though, i badly wanted to feel someone's arms, kiss for every, and have a great romp, because i knew where i was at the time, my ex entered my life, i held back, bugger, otherwise, i would have taken the very next guy, just to "feel" those things. So, i learn't because this time, i want it all, love, lust, desire, passion, intimacy, laughter, communication, etc etc and that would not have occured if i did not look back and say, no more, i'm worth every cent... Let's hope this one works out, 12 months is a bloody long time i feel like there are cobwebs...