[DreamP346]

Facebook has made it easy to connect with old college friends you haven't seen in years, maybe decades. In my attempt to connect with folks, when I am travelling to a "friend's" home town, I will often reach out to them and ask to meet for lunch or a drink. Often, these "friends" say they have something else going on. But then they don't offer to try something else or ask when will be the next time I'll be around. It's just "sorry, I can't. I have other plans." BTW, these are folks who friended me on FB, I didn't go looking for them, Similar with meeting new people. We meet during a party or social gathering. Have a nice conversation. Say we should do something together and exchange emails. But when I reach out to them to arrange something, it's the same thing. They can't during that time but they don't try to suggest something else.

My philosophy is that I make the first offer. It's their job to make the second offer. When people don't, does that mean they really aren't interested. Should I ask a second time? And if people aren't interested, why do they say they are and offer to exchange contact information? I am just not good at making new friend

[Bowlly]

It probably means they aren't interested. I wouldn't try a second time. If the person declined your offer, they should be the ones making the next one. And i don't mean people who are already your friends, only strangers who you want to befriend.
Also adding someone on facebook doesn't mean you wanna meet them. I wouldn't wanna meet 99% of my facebook friends. It's nice to see a photo of a high school friend every once in a while. But meeting them? Don't see a reason.

[JonDoe]

That's odd, but then again most people are odd. Like you, I would make the first offer, but if they simply give a "Sorry, I've got other plans" response, then I'd take that as a sign of no interest and move on. Don't take it personally and don't give them a second thought. Most acquaintances are just that, and aren't going to be true friends anyway.

[DreamP346]

That's odd, but then again most people are odd.

Yeah, I don't know why people behave like that. Just be honest. I don't have time for this stuff if they have no intention of getting together.

The other question I have is what if you do meet up once (instigated by me) and then you don't hear back. I take it as now it's their turn to suggest something. Sometimes the kids keep asking about their new friend but I don't want to keep bothering folks who don't make an effort.

[JonDoe]

Some people just don't think or are too lazy to reciprocate.

[atskitty2]

Don't underestimate how truly nosy some people are. No more, no less.
In my observation, it's really not about getting reacquainted or catching up, it's nothing more than seeing if you're doing better than they are, or showing off how well they're doing. Maybe that's just my shafty group of former friends.

Also, people say things out of niceness, and having no other words in their vocabulary. Habit. Just not knowing what else to say to close a discussion. They rarely mean it when they say they'd like to meet up. My way of sifting through, is nailing them down, "how about next Thursday?" If they have plans & don't offer another option, I say peace & leave it alone. Like you, I have no time to waste, nor desire to waste anyone else's.

[Moriya]

I wouldn't ask again. If they want, they know where to find you.