[mzhk]

I don't think I could give it the title of " the ex " because we didn't even see each other that long. Less then a month ago, I bumped into someone I was seeing. We broke up in the most confusing way. He stopped contacting. So, I saw no point in trying to be mutual and that was that. A month ago, I bumped into him , he had this drooling face on when he saw me. Tried to make small talk as if nothing has ever went wrong. I got out of that place as fast as I could. A lot of people told me that the way he acted sounded like he wanted a booty call. The thing is recently I heard from many people that he's getting married to a girl he's met only 4 months ago. Everyone around me is putting in their two cents " I think he was seeing her when he was seeing you. There is no reason to get married so quickly." or " She's just probably knocked up". I don't know at the time we started I didn't feel the connection n. Tried many times didn't have the heart to break up. Our last encounter I totally felt he was bored finally had the nerve to throw it all out on the table. His response was " I was extremely tired, but we don't have much incommon".

My question now is : it's done and over with. I shouldn't feel so hurt but I can't help it. Any suggestions? I don't know if im so blah* because he got over me so quickly. or if I'm like this because I'm jealous he's getting married before me or even if it's because he tried to sucduce me into one more rump between the sheets before he got married. My head has been hurting since all this information was received. My head feels like its split in halfl

[Claret]

My take on why you are feeling this way. It's funny, we can load up our car with what we consider to be trash as a way of cleaning out our environment. So we drive to the dump, toss everything on the garbage pile and turn and begin to leave. The moment we take 10 steps away another car drives up, people get out of their car and spy what you have just tossed away. They walk over to it and bend to pick it up. Suddenly, you are consumed with regret. You didn't necessarily want what you have tossed out but you don't want anyone else to want it either. When someone else shows interest or claims our trash for theirs, we can get consumed with jealousy.

You don't want him, you just don't want anyone else to want him either.

Consider though, you didn't want him for a reason. You were cleaning up your personal relationships (cleaning house so to speak) you were laying a foundation for another relationship to come along, one that would hopefully fulfill you in a more concrete way. What you need to do is continue to recognize that you don't want him, you didn't want him and you can move on without feeling any guilt at all.

[mzhk]

* Claret - I guess deep down inside I was hoping he would of put more effort into it. When I said if this is a sinking titanic please let me know? His only reply was " we don't have much in common". I guess that's why I kept feeling so hurt. But , your last sentence spelt it out louder for me. Its probably the reason why I cant fully feel " cleaned out". I don't want but don't want someone else to want. THANK YOU. I feel reliefed

[mzhk]

Guess, I'll try to be a big person and congradulate the ding dong and his new relationship

[Motorguy]

Well Mzhk you are way better not having this guy in your life. I myself think he was seeing this other women while still dating you. Not many men will married a women only after 4 months. But like you said he may have knock this other women up. So now he's going to marry her so the baby not born out of wedlock. But please don't lose any sleep over this guy. He's not worth it life to short. The right guy is out there for you soon enough so good luck and God bless you . 😃😍😘😎💘

[mzhk]

Hugs* thank you motor guy. The shock honestly has been bothering me. But thought it over those two are meant for each other. If I truly had strong feelings for him? When I thought I might of been pregnant I should of been happy. Which I wasn't. Which meant I didn't feel as strong as I thought. He is definitely a man who're. You and everyone else is right I am not going to disagree. He was seeing other women too. I wouldn't be shocked if she was pregnant. I feel much relieved. Thank you.

[Claret]

Our last encounter I totally felt he was bored finally had the nerve to throw it all out on the table. His response was " I was extremely tired, but we don't have much incommon".

Why would you even consider the possibility that you have missed out on anything when you say the above? It's clear in these lines that neither of you were very happy and that a basis for a long term relationship just wasn't there. Set a higher standard for yourself. Look for someone that will raise you up not drag you down. Look for someone that can enrich your life with new and different experiences, has enough education to challenge you, has enough compassion to console you when necessary. In other words forget the loser - he may just be exactly where and with whom he was expected to be with.

[atskitty2]

I've hesitated to post a response, for fear of sounding callous. Were you ever even in a relationship with this guy, other than sexual?

Why are you hung up on him so hard?

In your posts, I can't help but think, "here's a girl lacking self respect".
I don't mean this to sound uncaring, but you must learn to think better of yourself.
Were you really hiding and trying to duck out of a coffee shop without being seen by this man? Why? What are you ashamed of? Why try to avoid someone if you have nothing to hide and know you are strong enough to handle yourself?

People will use you for whatever they want as long as you allow it. Expect more from the men you allow into your life, and of yourself.

Deal with your ongoing health issues and making yourself more healthy physically and emotionally. Then concern yourself with relationships.

[mzhk]

He wasn't someone I only knew for 30 days. I went to high school with him. I guess I hung on that long because I was that fat girl in high school with a disfigure deformed tumor lump on my face. I got to live it up with that captain of the Ruby team that didn't know I was alive then. I was just shocked. I didn't know at the time he had girls in his life. It wasn't til near the end that more and more the truth came out. It's fine for that comment. Tough love is a good thing for me right now. I hate been lied too. I've been lied to enough. Now that everything else is poured out I just felt I got cheated somehow. The whole purpose wasn't just a hump and go. But like everyone on here is telling me. If the trash is dump don't dive back in the dumpster. Thank you for the wakeup call. I brought jogging clothes today. My mind is extremely lighter. I will no longer sweat this. Need to lose that 8lbs I piled on.

[mzhk]

Ashamed? I'm not ashamed of me. I just didn't want to choose to say hi or not. Self respect? Not that bad but I can agree I don't give myself enough credit.