[atskitty2]

Well, it doesn't sound at all, to me, like you were living it up with him, seems to me he more trampled on you than anything.
You've known him for years, but was there a real "relationship"? Was an established, committed romantic involvement in place? It seems not, from all you've written.

If you were the girl in school who got none of the attention, and then you finally bedded a cool guy...ok, I get where you're coming from, but you really gained nothing from it, did you? In the end, he has given you nothing but heartache, and in my estimation, took away a little more of your self esteem. That's how it seems to me anyway.

This isn't high school any more. You have no scores to settle, nothing to prove, just to build yourself up and make yourself better. That isn't accomplished by investing emotionally in these losers, who seem to use you and toss you aside.

Hold out for something better. Don't give it all away to any guy who shows some interest.

Again, I don't mean to be insensitive, but I hope you realize, this will likely continue unless you make some changes. I do wish you well.