[Laura26]

Hi all. New to this, I've had a extremely bad history when it comes to boyfriends so don't know if this problem is just me being silly and thinking to much into it. My boyfriends watches porn and obviously masturbates while I'm at work at night once a week. I feel completely hurt by this, we have a very active Sex life so I don't understand his need to do this. I know people are likely to say it's just fantasy. We have spoken about this before because I couldn't keep my problem to myself any longer. When we first got to together we used to enjoy a porn movie together, slowly that stopped, he would then make comments that he'd masturbated when I went to work that morning etc and I felt disheartened by this, I've explained if he includes me in it when I'm not there... like a dirty picture etc I wouldn't care but he hides this from me. I am starting to resent him after my night shifts because I know he's been watching porn again! Someone please help...

[atskitty2]

So is it the porn or the masturbation that bothers you?

[Laura26]

It's more the porn... now whether this is me feeling like I'm not good enough because he watches other women I don't know

[atskitty2]

So, if you both watched porn together, earlier in the relationship, what has changed for you that his watching it alone bothers you now? What is different? And why are you not doing that together anymore if it was enjoyable for you both?<br />
<br />
The point I'm trying to make is, that you're probably lacking satisfaction in this relationship. It doesn't seem you're communicating well, and the sexual gratification is also not what it once was.<br />
Talk to him about all this. Get everything into the open and invite him to share his perspective.

[Laura26]

We did a lot of partying drinking etc when we first got together and as that stopped so did the porn... I didn't love the idea of watching it together but I prefer to watch it together than him to watch it alone.. we have spoken about this and I've explained that it wasn't a problem before when he'd watch it alone because I was till involved, like he'd send me a nude pic saying thinking of you etc so I was included.. but now because we've spoke and I've explained how I feel he hides it.. this makes my problem even worse, I dread the night shift I work because I know he's going to say night to me and make out he's going to sleep and he's not.. he's watching a porn, then I'll come home in the morning and he'll cuddle and be nice to me and I can't face to look at him!

[Laura26]

I subconsciously feel inadequate and not enough for him. The problem at the back of my mind which I have never shared with him is, I was in a very abusive mentally and physically relationship previously and my ex partner would use porn to hurt me, lie.in bed and watch one and masturbate while I was asleep or while I was in the shower etc on purpose to hurt me. Now do I feel the way I do about my current boyfriend watching it because of how my ex treated me or is it that I just don't like it.. I don't know, but it's really starting to drive me mad and have an impact on my work life.

[jns]

Your feelings are normal for some women, Laura. Other women are not worried about their SOs viewing porn. We have had extended conversations on the subject in the past.

[Laura26]

So what can I do about it..?

[DreamP346]

Talk to your boyfriend about it. You can't resolve anything without communication.

Also, why do you think your boyfriend is hiding it from you? Maybe he did stop.

[Laura26]

He's hiding it from me because I've told how it makes me feel when he's been watching porn. But I tried to explain in the beginning he would include me in it whether I was there or not and I didn't feel the way I do then. But then he would watch it and not tell me about it till he made a comment and let it slip.. this is when I confronted him and asked him. Scince then he hasn't mentioned it and is hiding it, I know he is as he opened his Internet browser once and it was left on a porn site, he quickly closed the tab and then started deleting his history thinking I couldn't see, this broke me. He also left his search history on his playstation so I seen that! I feel like our Sex life isn't good enough, I'm not good enough and that's why he does it. Like we could of Sex that day and good Sex. And he's still watching porn later on.. imagine how it makes me feel.