[C]

Now i know you didn't mean that one.... Who is past the age? Certainly not you, nor a 50, or 45 year old... lol...

CW

I figured if anyone was going to get me on that one it would be you... I guess I did not get the feeling of "urgency" in the post. Or maybe I was just misreading it...It was around this age when that woman made a big play for my sailor....With this in mind if I had known this at the time I would be a basket case...But maybe she is too. Only when you fear the loss of someone that you love to another woman, does the hair on the back of your neck stand straight up....Maybe she does feel this...Then add the thought of another woman being carressed and loved the way that he has done to you and you just can't sleep....

This is something that he and she must talk about...She must be able to walk away from this conversation with complete trust in him and know that she is the queen of all his thoughts and another woman does not enter into any of his sexual thoughts. These are the things that are necessary to go forward in a marriage that has been slightly fractured...They both are not children...They both have another marriage in back of them and now it is time for them both to figure out if this is good or not....

Again just my thoughts on this......but I did mess up on the spooning...

C

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I figured if anyone was going to get me on that one it would be you... I guess I did not get the feeling of "urgency" in the post. Or maybe I was just misreading it...It was around this age when that woman made a big play for my sailor....With this in mind if I had known this at the time I would be a basket case...But maybe she is too. Only when you fear the loss of someone that you love to another woman, does the hair on the back of your neck stand straight up....Maybe she does feel this...Then add the thought of another woman being carressed and loved the way that he has done to you and you just can't sleep....

This is something that he and she must talk about...She must be able to walk away from this conversation with complete trust in him and know that she is the queen of all his thoughts and another woman does not enter into any of his sexual thoughts. These are the things that are necessary to go forward in a marriage that has been slightly fractured...They both are not children...They both have another marriage in back of them and now it is time for them both to figure out if this is good or not....

Again just my thoughts on this......but I did mess up on the spooning...

C

Your my inspiration Caroline, when i first got on here, read what you wrote, you teezed me, with your age... I'm thinking 50... your laughing at me. (In a good way)

Do you type speed, i mean you have your own site, you must reply to so many that your fingers hurt, i have read so many and will continue to do so... From what i see, you read, reply and then "like me" read again and go bugger, i missed that... lol...

Yeah, we can spoon, we can do lots of things, sugar, we can do them till the cows come home, then some, and we can do it till eternity.

I don't pick you up, i remind you that your all woman... a big difference.....

I am me, you are you, i won't change me, you won't change you and you know what?

Why would we.....

Gee hope you had a day of from sex, cause you always make me jealous....

xx

CW

[moonshadow48]

I am 48 and he is 52. The two of them were a couple almost 30 years ago according to him. Since then she has been married and divorced several times. Which says to me that he cheated on her with his first wife. Simple math. We have been together 23 years and married 20 of those years. He had been divorced from his first wife for a year when we met. He married his first wife when he was 20.
The only thing that is saving him right now is the fact that she lives in FL. There were no calls or texts on this past months bill, which says either he did stop talking to her or he has found another way.

[missyripey]

Wow...I didnt' realize that this was happening to so many other women...I am dating a younger man than me. I recently discovered that he has been multi texting a girl at his work...55 times in one day...49 another...I only found out because I had to activate his new cell phone on my computer while he was at work. Lo and behold...what is this?!!? I ran straight to his work and asked who it was...having an idea myself I looked it up and my suspicions were correct. You see everytime I talk about this, I convince myself that staying with him was wrong...I mean he lied about her age, her hair color, who she acutally was. I textd her myself and asked her very nicely to leave my boyfriend alone...her response? F*#k off you cougar...you are a crazy ! All we did was talk about our different backgrounds! Anyhow, there is no doubt the man loves me, but now I feel like a mother watching his every move...I hate not trusting him...having to check his texts daily, and I also have a keylogger (a wonderful little invention by the way). But I dearly love him...to absolute death...

[moonshadow48]

Wow...I didnt' realize that this was happening to so many other women...I am dating a younger man than me. I recently discovered that he has been multi texting a girl at his work...55 times in one day...49 another...I only found out because I had to activate his new cell phone on my computer while he was at work. Lo and behold...what is this?!!? I ran straight to his work and asked who it was...having an idea myself I looked it up and my suspicions were correct. You see everytime I talk about this, I convince myself that staying with him was wrong...I mean he lied about her age, her hair color, who she acutally was. I textd her myself and asked her very nicely to leave my boyfriend alone...her response? F*#k off you cougar...you are a crazy ! All we did was talk about our different backgrounds! Anyhow, there is no doubt the man loves me, but now I feel like a mother watching his every move...I hate not trusting him...having to check his texts daily, and I also have a keylogger (a wonderful little invention by the way). But I dearly love him...to absolute death...

The funny thing is how some think that it was wrong but still ok. Just forgive and forget because supposedly there was nothing sexual. But really if it isn't cheating why the need to lie or cover up? And there was opportunity for it to be sexual, you ask but would they really tell the truth when for so long they lied over who they actually were in the first place. They know how much they have to lose once they are caught but didn't care while they were in it.
I even asked my husband what changed between all that time when you felt the need to talk to her for hours and send texts? And during her visits being able to see her because I trusted he had given the truth. He said nothing has changed but he realizes that I am what he wants and where he wants to be. Pretty hard to believe huh? If nothing changed nothing was wrong in the first place so why did you do it? That is what men do? Right I think that is the lamest excuse ever made and you can bet it was started by a man. We have the same temptations all the time. We are approached all the time, we have old boyfriends who would welcome. But iit is only a guy thing to act on them? They can't help it? Yeah right.
The only thing that changed is you got caught. Just like the song, "don't tell me your sorry cause your not, your just sorry you got caught" you had no problem during the situation and it would still be going on if not!!!

[anonymouswhitefemale]

If I found a keylogger on my computer my girl would be out on her **** in a matter of minutes.

Outrageous.

[Guest]

ready everyone?

anon?

brace yourself:

i agree.

[girlpower]

I guess I need another opinion. My husband of 20 years has a very large "extended family" by this I mean people that are not related in any way but he looks at as his family because they were there for him when he was young. This started 2 years ago when we went to the funeral of one of his "sisters" and another "sister" from FL showed up. That is how he introduced her. Since then that has been a whole lot of half truths from him. He started receiving cards and pictures from her. She sent presents and there were also phone calls. I had no problem with this because she was his "sister"
A few months ago she was coming into town with her daughter and needed someone to pick them up at the airport. My husband called me and asked if it was ok saying he didn't want to just do it then have me hear from someone else that he had done it. Red Flag! Sound like something is up to me.
So I started looking around. His myspace page had her daughter on it and they were conversing about her mother. And then she sent him and email with pictures attached. One of her mother and my husband. VERY clearly close. She was not just "sisterly" with him the used to date. First lie discovered.
So I looked at our cell phone bill detail which normally isn't on the bill but you can see it on line. seems that there were a whole lot of calls to and from FL also alot of texts. some of the calls lasted an hour and of course were during times that we were both at work.
Then I say and email that was written by my husband to her daughter (the "sister" doesn't have a computer) saying how he wishes he could go back to that time and he wonders how things would have turned out.
I busted him out on it. I am furious. To tell me she was like a sister and for two years lead me to believe that just so I would not suspect anything. Of course he says he was just talking to her and says he doesn't know how I would react if I knew the whole truth. Even tough he knows my outlook is I know you had a life before me. His EX wife comes to our house so where would this problem be?
After I confronted him he was very sorry for it or so he said, he said he loves me and wants to be with me and he realizes it was a mistake. Not buying it, he is sorry he got caught in my opinion.
He sent another email teling her daughter not to contact him until he can change his passwords or set something else up and that he was afraid I would say something to her husband or sons so if I did to just say I was and extremely jealous person and nothing was going on. (because her sons were thinking something was up according to one of her emails to my husband) He also sent her an email telling her to have her mom check her PO box that he sent her a card. Supposedly a birthday card and that he had told her in it that he could not be invloved with her any more. I told him that I didn't believe that because who would sent a Happy Birthday go away card??? and why was he sneaking to do it? Still.
There were still some calls on last months bill and he claims he doesn't remember making them?
He has become very affectionate toward me and started doing things that he has never done before like helping me out with things. I am trying to forgive him but that same feeling is still there. He says he didn't have sex with her that it was always just talking, but really would he tell me?
So what do you think? Please I need some outside opinions here.

If he values his relationship and he loves you, then maybe he has a soul tie with this woman that needs to be severed? And also both negotiating how much contact he should have with this woman. In this way you can get some say and control of your situation. If he is serious about saving his marriage, then you need to set down some clearly defined boundaries.

[Little]

ready everyone?

anon?

brace yourself:

i agree.

I did not properly brace myself ... good thing I was sitting down
I agree as well; I might use a keylog ... if I had children ... if I wanted to prank a friend of mine and mess up their myspace ... but not to stalk my partner. I have facebook for that.
I don't even "check phones." I may pick up his phone when it rings and tell him who's calling; I text for him when he's driving someplace, and he answers my phone if I'm busy. But if I felt like I had to see who was texting him when I wasn't paying attention, I'd probably feel like I needed to get out of the relationship too.

[lovemyself1]

remember that moonshadow48 was "spying" on her husband because she had red flags! she wasnt doing it cuz she was bored. i believe in being a good detective and protecting yourself. if there is some strange behavior, then check it out, even if it just reassures you that there is nothing going on.