Hi everyone! I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we have a great relationship. We get along, we work together, we make each other laugh. The biggest problem is with his family, and I don't know what to do. I think I just have to suck it up, but I'm hoping that things will change in the future.
He's an only child of a single mom, and he still lives at home with his mom and his aunt because they don't make a lot of money and he said that if he were to move out, they wouldn't be able to afford to live there anymore. He did recently tell them that he was thinking of moving out and buying a house with me. They didn't take it well. His aunt doesn't work due to a disability, and because she doesn't have a lot to do during the day, she's always calling or texting him, or asking him to go places with her. When we're out together, she's calling to see what we're doing or if he's coming home for the night (or staying at my place). She always needs to know what days he has off from work, calls him in the morning to wake him up (even if he tells her not to because he sets an alarm), etc. It just seems like too much. I've talked to him about it and he said he talked to her, but she said that's just the way they are - they're close. She told me that if I don't like it, I can leave. That maybe we want different things out of a relationship, but I don't get that from what he's told me himself. She will help herself to money from his bank account (I don't know why she has access) if she's running low, she shares an Apple account with him because she doesn't know how to make her own, just a bunch of little things that irk me a little bit.
But like I say, we have a great relationship otherwise. We don't yell or fight with each other, we work out our problems in a productive way. He tells me he can see himself being with me for the rest of his life. I do see small steps of him pulling away from them, but I feel like the closer he gets to me, the more she's calling him to find out what he's doing. I feel like I've exhausted my efforts in bringing it up, because he'll tell her that it bothers me, and then there's tension. She's not changing and she probably never will, because it seems that's just the type of person she is. I just don't know how to deal with it.
He's an only child of a single mom, and he still lives at home with his mom and his aunt because they don't make a lot of money and he said that if he were to move out, they wouldn't be able to afford to live there anymore. He did recently tell them that he was thinking of moving out and buying a house with me. They didn't take it well. His aunt doesn't work due to a disability, and because she doesn't have a lot to do during the day, she's always calling or texting him, or asking him to go places with her. When we're out together, she's calling to see what we're doing or if he's coming home for the night (or staying at my place). She always needs to know what days he has off from work, calls him in the morning to wake him up (even if he tells her not to because he sets an alarm), etc. It just seems like too much. I've talked to him about it and he said he talked to her, but she said that's just the way they are - they're close. She told me that if I don't like it, I can leave. That maybe we want different things out of a relationship, but I don't get that from what he's told me himself. She will help herself to money from his bank account (I don't know why she has access) if she's running low, she shares an Apple account with him because she doesn't know how to make her own, just a bunch of little things that irk me a little bit.
But like I say, we have a great relationship otherwise. We don't yell or fight with each other, we work out our problems in a productive way. He tells me he can see himself being with me for the rest of his life. I do see small steps of him pulling away from them, but I feel like the closer he gets to me, the more she's calling him to find out what he's doing. I feel like I've exhausted my efforts in bringing it up, because he'll tell her that it bothers me, and then there's tension. She's not changing and she probably never will, because it seems that's just the type of person she is. I just don't know how to deal with it.
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