[atskitty2]

Stop trying to understand his behaviors. You're just torturing yourself.

You'll probably never understand, and it will probably never make sense. Once you move on, and have some clarity, some things may stand out in your mind that sort of help. Or maybe not.

You allowed yourself to be swept away. That is understandable, and easy to do when you're interested in someone and they are doing so much. I have done it, too. It's important to learn not to allow our feelings to get the best of us, and be caught up in a storm of emotions. Take a little control of a situation and keep the pace more reasonable, get to know someone very well before crossing the topic of living together and marriage.

You said you had a thought about being a rebound, maybe that was your "gut" telling you to slow the roll a bit...

It isn't typical for relationships to be successful when they move so fast. The foundation just isn't solid. It takes time to build a solid, lasting commitment. Sometimes it happens that way, but not often.

Now I know you don't want to hear that right now, but I think is an important takeaway from this.

And yep, be wary of newly divorced men. I won't talk to someone who's less than a year out from a serious breakup or divorce. And some men still aren't ready. In hindsight, it was much longer than that before I was really ready for a relationship, after I divorced.

So, this isn't your fault, I'm not blaming you if it seems that way. You are responsible for your emotions, tho. And for what you do with them and how much you're making choices based on those feelings rather than logic and seeing things for what they are. I'm guessing there were serious red flags flying, with this guy. Emotions are fickle. We really can't always trust our own emotions.

[Popcorn&Candy]

Your feelings have been badly hurt: I'd feel the same. Being so close to someone, then being rejected, is heartbreaking. It has happened to me. But I accepted that I couldn't control what another does and I moved on. It was hard, but I accepted what happened and didn't dwell on those relationships. I wouldn't torture yourself by trying to understand why: even if you knew why, your heart will still be broken. It will take time, but you'll grow stronger from this. Talk to your friends and let them support you: you're not alone.

[Texasred]

It's like Kitty said: it was 12 years after I divorced before I wanted to marry again, 12 years during most of which I was certain I'd *never* marry again! But then, one day, it seemed like I did!

[Ko0519]

Yes that seems completely normal! I would have understood if he said he wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment but it was all his idea at first and it’s something he said throughout the relationship so I guess I just don’t know if he really felt that way or not. All that he said is a whole of a hell lot to say to someone I think. And I should have seen some alarm bells go off but I didn’t at the time. It was weird for him to go from saying all of that to ending our relationship to a new relationship and who knows what he’s doing now. It sucks not knowing if he really cared and loved me but I tried to talk to him I tried to bargain per se but it was like he already made up the decision in his mind. He made it seem initially like it was difficult for him to end things with us but with how quickly he moved on and blocked me really hurt me. Does he just not give a **** about me at all or miss me? I see him watching my stories and I miss him. You guys are awesome!

[amy40]

I see him watching my stories and I miss him.

so sorry you still miss him and still have feelings for him

don't know how to tell you to get over him because although I dated a lot, never dated anyone that long except for a HS boyfriend and it was first real dating but not serious

hope you can find a way to get over him (maybe after more tears)

[jns]

Does he just not give a **** about me at all or miss me?

You just torture yourself with such questions that will never have a truthful answer. The pain from the breakup will continue for a while, maybe quite a while. Somewhere in the future you will have the perspective to realize that this relationship wasn't meant to be. I know, that is what has happened to me. Best wishes on moving forward.

[atskitty2]

Genuine love and appreciation, respect and a solid relationship takes time to build. More than a few weeks or months, like this.
My bet is that no, he never genuinely loved you. Just based on what love is and how it's formed.

It's infatuation, limerance, something else. He's filling his emotional void, at the expense of others.

I also bet that you are a sweet, caring woman that put her whole heart into this commitment, not knowing he was too emotionally disconnected to himself to know what he's doing and what he wants.

You really are just torturing yourself. I did the same thing in my twenties...you'll get to know yourself better, understand relationships and know how to move forward when you've healed and had a chance to reflect on this. The important thing is to learn from it.

[Ko0519]

You’re probably right atskitty2! As sad as that is to hear. It sucks that someone would do all that he did to fill an emotional void. Actually it’s cruel because I mean what else am I supposed to think when he’s telling me those things, hanging up pictures of us, buying me a nightstand, meeting my family consistently, etc over the course of the relationship!? I did go into this whole heartedly unfortunately and came out with some hard lessons learned. I’m very cautious now of getting swept up with infatuation and allowing myself to take these gestures without a grain of salt. It does make me upset that someone was able to just walk out of my life like that after everything if that makes sense. That part hurts a lot how you just probably won’t ever talk to them again and they are okay with that like they don’t even care. I really appreciate your responses and thank you for listening to my naive self lol

[atskitty2]

Let it wisen you up, not harden you up lol

It sucks, it hurts, but you will learn that your feelings are up to you to control. If someone jumps headlong into a serious relationship again, you'll know to keep your emotions in check, not going head first into the deep end until time has shown their nature and they've stood the test of time.
Time will tell and there's no substitute for it.

Learn what you can, become better and wiser and understand yourself and people a little better than before. Don't let this experience close you up or cause you to lose trust in people either. Just be more cautious. Guard your heart and use your head.
You'll be ok. You'll be better on the other side of this.

Btw. I'd probably block him from everything. He is probably watching you to see evidence of your hurt...rid yourself of all traces of him.
People like that seem to enjoy seeing their handiwork on display.

Hugs. You'll feel better soon.

[Ko0519]

He probably does get enjoyment out of this. Like having that dinner with me a week later to tell me the same lies. It’s very hurtful he couldn’t even give me an ounce of truth but could sit there and pretend like he loved and cared about me which makes me feel worse to receive that fake sympathy if you will. I feel embarrassed and weak that I was open and honest with him. I feel like I look pathetic and then I get responses from him after I told him I’ll have my guard up now like, “good, you should.” He went from telling me I made him happy and was the second person he’s ever loved then said that. What kind of jerk insists on having dinner a week later and told me not to take my stuff from his place til then?? Urgh sometimes I get so angry. I’m definitely more cautious but I need to find that balance instead of just not trusting anyone if that makes sense.