[Raina]

..to feel upset at this situation I'm about to explain. I am married, in the process of getting a divorce so I can happily marry the person I truly want to be with. His family are religious, Christians, to the point that it tends to drive me nuts at times. Family photos are coming up, I have been included in them, but during a little goof off session about a friend of the family not being included in the images, his mother came out with, "Even (My name) isn't going to be in all of them,". It hit me REALLY hard. Its as if my efforts in getting this divorce and letting them know on occasion that me and his son are going to be getting married are worth nothing in their eyes because of their ways. It will always remind me when we look back at those images and I see an image where I should've been included but because of the fact that a stupid piece of paper or a small kilobyte file on a computer states I am married to someone else.

I'm upset, I just want to know if I have the right, and am allowed, to be this way.

[auntie_awesome]

My in-laws were like that. Until you are actually married to their son, then no...there is no reason for you to be. They have a right to family pictures without you. Until you are legally bound to him, at any point you could just up and leave or he could change his mind. You are a girlfriend, no matter how serious he is, even if you are engaged to him...you are just a girlfriend.

If you had a son or daughter who was 18, 19 or 20...would you let their girlfriend or boyfriend in every family picture? Probably not.

It's sad yes, and I understand where you are coming from....but if it were my child, no matter the age, if they weren't married to the person I'd be sure to get pictures without that person.

[Hopeless Dork]

You have a RIGHT to be as upset as you want to be or organically are... should you be upset about the photos? In my opinion , no. Most family photo sessions don't include every person in every shot anyway... so that they have different sets ... like just the folks, just the kids, the whole gang, the whole gang plus in laws and signifcant others, etc.

Whoever is paying for the photosession should get to decide how they want the photo's taken. If they didn't want you there at all, I could understand you being hurt... but they are just saying not every photo, you guys aren't married and they know you are married to someone else even if only technically.... and the fact that they still want you in ANY of their family photos shows they might be more open to you being in their family than you are giving them credit for.

[Raina]

We took those pictures today and I knew that there was going to be a moment where his mother would request an image without me in them for I prepped myself for it. I didn't mention anything to my fiance about it or anything. When his mother requested it, he didn't like it one bit and refused to take the picture again. >> I got a little teary eyed when he did that, but I'm sure it made his mom a little annoyed at him. Speaking of which, I don't think her parents thought it was nice either because I remember her saying, as I was getting up, "What? Their not married..." and in the end of that BIG group photo, after my fiance stepped out of the camera frame she decided not to even take the picture without me. ;o To me, I found that sweet of him and it made me feel extremely loved.