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  • Pretty sure that was my father-in-law

    I was over at a fetish-focused singles website (for reasons that are in line with the values in my marriage) and am pretty sure I saw my husband's mother's husband (so, not his father, just married to his mom) listed as 'single and looking.'

    I have so many feelings and questions about this. On the one hand, it's none of my business. Plus, what if I'm wrong? I'm biased because I'm aware of his having a long-term emotional relationship with a woman on social media.

    For now, I've decided that saying nothing--including to my husband--is the right thing to do. I'm not sure if I should try to forget all about it (not sure that's possible) or find out for sure whether or not it's him. I'm feeling conflicted, and vaguely like not doing anything is the wrong answer.

  • Do you know for certain that your mother-in-law would be in disagreement with his attendance there? It could be that he lists himself single because so many would be opposed to getting involved with a married man, even if it was mutually agreed upon by the wife. Does she know about the emotional relationship he's been in?

    In my experience with these things, people usually know more than I think they know. Until you know for sure, and that will eventually become clear if you both continue to frequent the site, I would do nothing.

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    • My MIL is extremely traditional and would not be down with anything like that. She was just admitted to the hospital with a resurgence of cancer. So…I imagine they’ve not been physically close for a while. I have decided to stay out of it for now. I’m feeling really angry that I even know about it.

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